Well I was feeling much better today until I spoke with my sister who if I didn't know better I would think she is the OW best friend. Anything I say about this situation, she always has something like "well, you have to think how she feels". No I don't. She doesn't care how I feel. Well, I said I don't think my H ever cheated on me except that one time. Her response "Ya know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater"<BR>Thanks sis, why don't you twist that knife a little harder! And I don't know why my sister acts that way. She gets along great with my H. It's almost like she's TRYING to hurt me. Well I'm not going to let her get me down. My H and I had a great marriage before all this, unlike hers. I almost think she was glad to hear this news because it made her H look better.<P>It's Friday night! Cheers!!!<BR>Hope everyone's happy!<BR>Eraser

I have found that most folks are just not very smart about this stuff. And even worse, there is the BIG move on being so touchy-feely and politically correct. It is just not ok anymore to have morals and say "this is not correct". So everyone tries to be so sensitive to all these goofy folks who don't deserve to be felt sorry for. Maybe your sis has just fallen into that trap. <P>Plus there is always the basic "must be the man's fault" point of view. That could account for the "always a cheater" line. Folks just don't seem to beleive that there are snakes out there in skirts. Like it is all these big old bad men raping poor old women. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of bad men, just not every one of them. And there are plenty of bad women. I know for a fact the OW in my case knew my H was married and flat out didn't care. She decied she had found her "soul mate". Sorry, but I don't feel sorry for her.<P>Maybe in a perverse way your sis is trying to help you. Folks think they are being helpful to point out all these things they are gringing up, instead of just trying to be supportive. Chalk it up to ignorance and not malicious acts.<P>Take care... Carolyn

I agree. Most people don't know the first thing about this topic, including family. It's like giving parenting advice before you've had any kids! Easy but useless.<P>I try not to tell many people due to this very reason. Similarly, when my second baby died at birth, I heard many comments that were designed to be comforting but really felt quite heartless. I've learned to be careful who I talk with.<BR>

Eraser,<P> You know what they say about opinions! <BR> <BR> If you have read any of the Harleys' stuff, you already know more than 99% of the population knows about this subject. <BR> Let your sisters' opinions role off your back like water off a ducks' a**! <P><BR> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR><P>Gregg

I wonder how "Sissy" would feel if this happened to her...would she say, "I guess I should think about how my husband's whore feels..."<P>I think not.<P>When it happens to her, let us know how empathetic she is to her husband's OW.<P>Catnip =^^=

Omg,Eraser.How horrible! I want everyone here to know that my sister has been the most caring, wonderful, supportive person in this whole thing. I would have gone crazier than I did if it weren't for her words and actions.<P> She is the only one (besides my MIL)who supports my wanting to be w/my husband!<BR>Most everyone who found out had nasty things to say about him. I no longer say anything to them. I don't take their calls! How dare they judge him or me without even caring about my feelings!<P>Hope things improve Eraser. Or find a new person to trust in your "sharing"<P> Bless you sweetie......<BR> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

My sister (who is only 19-was 18 at the time of discovery-17 when she first started suspecting(notice I said she)) wants to rip the OW's hair out!!! Last year when she was staying with me for a week, we went to my H company picnic, O<BR>W was hanging all over my H-my sister says she wants your H BAD-I blew it off and said, she is just being flirtatios...big mistake..I should have let her go after her...she wasnt 18 yet, so she wouldnt have gone to jail....but then again, what would that have solved? Anyway-Sis needs to get a life and remeber who is blood and that she may need you some day...OW may be her best friend, but apparently OW cannot be trusted...so how long can that relationship work? Remember we must grow old with our siblings...until she realizes that you are going to be there for her, no matter what, and that she should be there for you, no matter what...just take what she says with a grain of salt...play her game...dont buy into it...when she brings it up-Laugh (when you are with her-but cry in private!) Dont let her know she is getting to you..thats what I have to do on a daily basis with my MIL. Tell your sister to take a chill pill! Take care and you will be in my prayers!<P>aloneandsad

You all are the greatest!<P>My sister came over to dinner last night and when she brought the subject up. I told her that we (my H and I) have decided to deal with this among ourselves and we don't want to talk about it anymore. Period. Hopefully I can hold keep to that. We talk on the phone everyday. But if she keeps on with her unsolicited advice, I'll have to limit my calls.<P>Thanks everyone<P>Have a good day!!!!