Well I haven't been here for a while. But I have been trying to get some space between the problems, the move, and the start of a new life. Well I should have known that wasn't going to be easy. In the past month and a half, there have been mistakes in my husband's child support. So she has gotten an extra $950 in the past four weeks. And I have spoken to everyone and they told me that we would have to ask HER for it back. Like she would ever give it back to us. I don't know whether or not it is worth me approaching a lawyer to get it back. We risk having our new home and new job questioned by a judge. Just to inform those who are new. We had to move and change occupations just to cover the child support, and be able to pay our bills. But because of the income change we are supposed to have to give her more, but we are forced to change the court order we once again will not be able to pay our bills. I am just so upset and frustrated AGAIN. Here I really thought I was healing, and I just can't believe it is all up in my face again. Feb will be a year since I found out. And after changing my entire life and moving away from my family I still don't know if I can live with this. I guess I am just really down. I have been fighting depression from the move and all of this. I realize that most of you don't know me, but I just needed to type some steam off. Thanks.<P>babstr.

welcome back babstr!<P>I'm sorry for your pain and your legal problems. I haven't got any legal ideas for you...hopefully someone else will hop in soon. But I have an idea for depression and moving (I've probably moved over 50 times, including childhood). I always feel better once I've made a support network in my new area. You might join a mommy's group or a sport or hobby group... check around and see what fits you. It's good to be able to reach out to others when you're down, even for a casual chat. Meanwhile all my best wishes and prayers,<BR>J<P>

Babstr:<P>It is so frustrating and so unfair how the legal system makes no attempt to make sure that WE are treated fairly. They certainly make sure the OW's get their due. I wish you could deduct that extra $950 without having any fallout with the system.<P>Babstr, it seems to me your resentment over your financial situation is causing your depression along with the knowledge there was an OW and now there is an OC, and that you have moved away from friends and family. You have every right to be angry, however, I am afraid it will poison the marriage.<P>Please try to focus on what you do have and on your husband and children. I know your husband broke his vows, but we aren't talking about him right now, we are talking about you. What about your vows? You promised you would cleave onto your husband forsaking all others, that means leaving family and friends to be with your husband and where his job takes him.<P>Please come here more often...maybe we can help.<P>Catnip -^^=<P>

babstr, how are you doing? i hope you are doing better. sorry i didn't see your post before. have missed having you and your insight around here. i am sure you are busy with your new house and getting used to your new home and life. it is hard to go to a new place, try to make new friends and like jenny suggested get involved in a group or something. i pray that you can accept your situation, that we all can. i hope you and your marriage will succeed. keep in touch with us.<P>happy_girl

babstr,<P> I know how you feel, kiddo! The great state of Missouri( or is it misery) screwed up and soaked an extra $1100 from my salary, one week before christmas! If it's not one thing**********<P><BR> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR><P>Gregg

Babstr:<P>Ugh. I just reread my post from weeks ago and realized it sounded like I was scolding you! I must have been having a crappy day to spout off about your vows, for crying out loud! I'm sorry. I had my head up my XXX.<P>Seriously, Babstr, we haven't heard anything from you in ages. I hope you are OK and things are going better..I hope you got your money back and that your new home is starting to feel like home.<P>How are the kids doing? Do they like their new school and have they made some friends...have you made some friends? How is your husband doing? I hope you two had a nice Christmas with the kids.<P>Please keep in touch and give us an update.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

Babstr,<BR>After reading your post,I got sick. The ow truly are bitc**s! I get frightened to think of all the $ we may have to give this ow if it's my H child. I have to wait till May.<BR>Sometimes when I read this stuff,I feel like giving up now before I can be hurt by their actions anymore.<P>They are both responsible but,he never gave her permission to keep his sperm! Just by doing what she pleased she destroyed so many things for you. Slut!<P>I will pray for you,honey.... I would seek help if you are certain it is true depression. Please do that for yourself and let us know how you are,ok?<BR> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....