Hi Everyone,<BR>We hit an impass at our session yesterday. I sense he wants visitation if c is his. He's saying he doesn't know what will happen by May, that it may not be his, and she may have a life with her H and not want my H involved, and all the variables you can think of. Fr. wants us to let go of THAT issue and begin rebuilding our marriage. I can't go forward without knowing his honest intentions WITHOUT any variables.<BR>Is it the wrong move at this point? If you guys think so I'll go for it.Even though he says she was nothing and shows contempt towards her. Even how he CRIES and says "You have to be with me Debi, I love you and we belong together" "I never meant for this to happen""i'm so sorry"<P>Gotta explain something I haven't shared.<P>Remember I said she was rich?<P>He borrowed money from her (and signed a paper saying so).It was for the business during a lawsuit we lost for thirtyone thousand dollars. He was struggling and she offered. Then when he was late on payments, she came on to him. He used sex w/her as a bargaining tool. Then when he couldn't pay again she threatened to come to me. He didn't want me to know. He had sex on an irregular basis until she sickened him. At that point,July, he broke it off as he said sex w/her was gagging him. She was in love with him. She called a month after their last time to say baby was on the way. He said he was coming to me w/the truth and if I'd take him back he was planning on continuing his life with me.<P>He said EVEN if my wife doesn't have me,I'll never be with you. I LOVE my wife. I never loved you,get it through your head.Never call me again!<P> Ok, whew,the money thing isn't issue.<BR>Read my letter and tell me if it's ok and what I should do. I love him but......<P><BR>Saturday, December 16, 2000<BR>Bobby,<BR>My fears are the emotional attatchment you have already for this child.<BR>How, if you see it and let it know it's yours, will you answer questions like, why won't you come to my little league games? If you love me you will.<BR>why won't you come see me in the school play? If you love me you will.<BR>why can't you spend Christmas with me too? Why don't you spend any holidays with me? If you love me you will.<BR>Why won't you come to my birthday, if you love me you will.<BR>why didn't you come see me when I had my tonsils out? If you loved me you would have.<BR>will you teach me to ride my bike? If you love me you will.<BR>will you come see me before I go to the prom? You know what's next.........<BR>Will you come see me graduate?<BR>Will you walk me down the aisle?<BR>OR will you come to my wedding?<P>Well? How will you answer?If it were MY dad,I'd want to know. I am thinking here as a 5yr. old to a 25 yr old. It's how I would feel about my dad. What about you Bobby? What if it were YOUR dad?<P>If in fact these are things you Plan to do, it will never work out with us. I won't share the rest of my life with you and this child and it's needs. It would totally destroy me. NO MATTER what it would mean a phone call from that piece of crap who acted like my girl friend<BR> the whole friendship while you and she destroyed our wedding vows. I just couldn't take it.<P>So guys in closing I must say I can't work on any other issues at this time as it will truly be a lie and misconception that I want to fix our marriage.<P>I want to move on alone, as painful as that will be. I feel also that this child's feelings supercede anything Bobby says he feels for me. I feel it's selfish to interject any more pain to me.<P>As Tina Turner said, "what's love got to do with it?" <BR> Debi<P><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....