Thanks for responding to me. It is so hard that sometimes I feel like I am not going to make it. I love my husband with all my heart and just don't understand how he could do this to me to us t our life. My life has been turn upside down. Some day worst than others. Today is not a good day. i don't feel like I measure up to her at all. He tells me that she is the last thing on his mind. I feel like I have so many faults and she is just perfect to him. He says he just want to make the first move sometimes and touch him. Not make him feel like he's the only one that wants it. It hard. All i see is them together the pleasure she gave him no doubt. Still don't know what she is going to do with the child. It's hard to lose it the thought of them together regardless of how hard you try. I just want peace of mind!!!!!

Bless,<BR>I understand. You will be ready for resuming your relations w/H WHEN YOU ARE READY....<P>Do not feel guilty!<P>He IS with you and didn't flee to be with her!<P>Please dear Bless, don't even try to compare yourself w/ow.....<P>You are special.<BR>He married you....<P>You have children from the love of God....<P>Please talk to a counsler or someone at your church, please.<P>I didn't want to but did. It saves me one day at a time.<P>The "video tapes" of my imagination of him being naked with her play over and over in my mind.<P>I too wonder what they did....<P>I try to replace the "tapes" with how sorry he is. How he cried. How he does try so hard to make me forget.<P>I will never forget.<P>I think you have to know it would be worse for us if our H came home and said "I'm leaving you for OW. She's having my child and I love her"<P>We did not hear that!!<BR>We heard the sorrow from the depths of their souls.<P>Listen to that shame. You said you love him and he LOVES you!<P>For whatever reason she was a plaything ONLY!!<P>If not he would be with her.<P>Come back and share Bless we will be here.<BR> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

I sympathize, I really do. What you are going through is normal, but if he had really wanted her, he wouldn't be with you now. There is no reason to give in to your fears, unless you think the affair is on-going. Many of us have feelings of low self-esteem sometimes. I have many more thoughts, but hope to leave you on a good note. The thoughts of 'them' have gradually left me. I still have bad moments, but they are moments now, not whole hours or days or weeks. I say this to give you hope, to hold on and repair all that you can, to recover the hopes and dreams you and your mate had and can still have together. <P>Best wishes,<BR>Jenny, (2+ years-woopee!)

Bless,<P>Jenny and Gemini1 are so right. The images will fade but it takes time. My H sleeps in the nude. And whenever he would get up out of the bed, I would look at his bare bottom and think "the OW must have laid in bed just like this looking at my H's rear end".<P>During one of our talks, I shared this feeling with my H. He asked me what would I rather have, an occasional glimpse at his bare rear end or to sleep in his arms every night? Because, the OW only got stolen moments, I have the "forever".<P>Our H's made mistakes, but try not to give the OW more power than she deserves. Sex is instinct, lovemaking comes from the heart. Try to focus on the fact that sharing bodies is very different from sharing hearts and souls.<P>Now, if I think about the two of them at all, they are just fleeting thoughts -- they no longer have the power to disable and debilitate me. I know that the marriage I have -- flawed though it may be -- is still better than what the OW got. And my H being in our children's life every single day is a thousand times better than sharing one afternoon every other week with a child that does not know the comfort and warmth of a complete family.<P>Funny as it sounds, we are the winners. So, concentrate on your H's love and his desire to keep loving you.<P>Merry Christmas.<BR>- Heavenly<BR>