We got a phone call from some close friends of ours last night that put us in a tailspin...<P>We attended their son's wedding 3 yrs ago. They were expecting their first C around early May.(same as ow in our case).<P>The girl went to her check up and DR. couldn't detect heartbeat. The baby died. They put her in hospital and induced labor. She was in labor and delivered their dead baby some 12 hrs. later.<P>When our friend called she was crying and saying how unfair it was and how she wished it was ow in our life who it happened to, not her son. She didn't talk to my H. Just told me to pass it on about her son and daughter-in-laws's loss.<P>Without saying it, (I know he was thinking it too) My H and I hugged and cried.<P>It would have been the first grandchild on both sides.<P>Pray for our dear friends over this tradgedy.<P>Pray my bitterness over it NOT being ow goes away......<P> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

gemini,<BR>My prayers are with you and especially your friends.<P>I have also lost 1 baby at birth and 3 miscarriages; it is devastating. As a friend I think you can only offer a listening, nonjudgemental ear, sympathy. That cliche "life isn't fair" was never more true... <P>Try not to be bitter; for me, that is evil winning, and it has won too much already. The good news is you and your H were "on the same page" here.<P>Godbless,<BR>J<p>[This message has been edited by Jenny (edited December 23, 2000).]

I know what your friends' daughter-in-law is going thru.<BR>I went thru the same thing 26 years ago...<BR>For years I questioned "WHY" this happened to US...a child that was wanted sooo badly...<P>Well 24 years later I got my answer...<P>When I first found out H was "having an internet affair.. I was crushed...didn't even know at the time that a P.E. had also happened but the vibes I got from H were enough to put me over the edge...<P>That day I had given up ....and was contemplating ending it all. I kept crying and asking God to help me...because I was in so much pain....After struggeling for hours...Finally a voice said"If you do this you will never see your daughter in Heaven"<BR>(Back then they just took your infant away and I never got to see or hold her)<BR>Well that brought me to the present with a JOLT and I immediately called my family and they got me some help....<P>From that day forward I "KNEW" WHY she had been God's angel all these years...to help her MOM when I needed it the most....<P>If not for God taking her when he did...I might have given up...You see I went on to have 3 more children and I knew it would hurt them..but they KNEW me and I knew them ..so all I wanted was the pain to stop... <BR>This little angel is waiting for me one day...and NO MATTER what happens in my life...I will live my life to someday see her.<P>So tell your friend we don't know "WHY" yet but trust in Time God had a reason...and her baby is with my little girl...and I KNOW the baby is in Good hands....<BR>Love & Prayers<BR>Tyra

Jenny and Tyra,I don't know what to say.<BR>Jenny that had to be horrible to have 3 misses AND a child that died at birth.I pray about not being bitter.No one deserves to lose something that is so WANTED,it's true.I just have to tell you how many of my friends -in -common with the family who lost their child has said the same thing to me these past 2 days....It should have been her...the OW! <P>Tyra,I too wanted to take a bunch of seditives and just peacefully end my life here on earth.<BR>The fright of hell in the here after is what scared me into reality. Not my family needing me,not anything about earth,just the fear of hell.<P>You WILL be with your "Angel" some day.<P>Your story touched my heart,this Christmas Eve 2000.<P>We will be spending Christmas night with the family who lost their grandchild. We have gone there for years around 6 pm Christmas night....Except last year...without so much as a phone call,my H insisted last year we go to our OTHER friends house for Christmas ...It was OW and her H and family's house we spent Christmas with last year....Our other friends were hurt and let us know some days later....<P>That's the part that gets to me.How the both of them were so cruel to their spouses,knowing what they were doing and in the aftermath of all this,making me and probably her H feel so stupid and angry for having the "balls" to join all of us in this false friendship just to be together!!!!!<P>I had to remind him we DIDN't go there to our real friends house. He didn't remember that we blew them off at first then he remembered and said, "Debi I was so wrong and I'm sorry"<P>Oh well,just another beautiful day in paradise!<BR> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....