Hello people, my name is the last one to find out. I have been married for 10 years. We have four children 12/9/7/and 6months. about a year ago my husband and I broke up, and we were apart for a year and a 1/2. when we were apart we were both doing our thing, he had someone and so did I, but we were still having sex with eachother, so after awhile we got backtogether, He came home and everything was fine , we did everything together, our lives were better than before. <BR>3months later his father passed, and he said to me that he wanted to have a baby to name it after his father , and I said ok,so i got pregnant. Butat his fathere funeral, I was notified that he had a baby, that was 3 months old, He never told me about that, so as the day went on I asked him and he told me no. everyday went by and I still asked him and still he said no, then I called the girl at work and she also told me no, then he called her on the three way telephone, with me on it and then she said no again... so i believed him, there was no baby, But! people were still telling me that there was a baby, So one early morning , she paged him, and I answered his pager, it was the girl, I asked her what did she want and she then told me that they had a baby, I woke him up and told him what she had told me and he said that she was a lie, He later went to work, and so did I, he called me later on that day and told me that he had something to tell me... So after he told me that he had this child , I took him back, because I didnt want to have my kids alone and because the kids wanted and needed there father there in the house with them, my thing is that I can not except the child, I will not let her come over to my house, so if he wants to have a relationship with the baby he has to go somewhere ealse and have it because it wont be at my house, I know that it is not the babies fault, but I just cant play weekend mother to noother child, especially how I found out about the child, maybe if he had of told me before we got back together and given me a chance to decide then that would have been a different thing, but still today I cant forget it and when we argue I always throw the baby up in his face, As far as I am concerned the baby will never come over to my house, so if he thinks that one day he will have all of his kids together in this house he is sadly misteaken, unless I am dead and gone, don't get me wrong I know that it is not the babies fault it is the parents, but because her parents did that , she is not welcome here, I also told him that this marriage is over, because I will never except her and I will never be comfortable with him again......So please help me out and give me some advice on how to handle this... we have 2girls and 2boys. so it is not a jealouse thing that she had a little girl... I just cant and wont except her, there will be no weekend family here...

Wow, a lot can happen in a year and a 1/2. This is quit a bit to absorb for you. I would think if you managed not to get pregnant during the separation, why couldn't he do the same! <P>You are hurting, and it is going to take some time. I am glad to read that it is not the child's fault, but the parents. You have already taken one step. If he wants a relationship with this child that he will have to go somewhere else. As a woman, I commend you for that. You are not standing in his way. One thing, is he sure that the baby is his? Did he get a paternity test done? Since there were several things happening during that time frame, I would hope he would be 100%. This child has changed several people's lives. A half sister to your children, step child to you (I know!), and a child to him. I know I would want to be 100% sure that this child does belong to him. Take one day at a time.

senteousme:<P>What does your name mean?<P>Catnip =^^=

senteousme,<P>welcome to our forum here. i know exactly how you feel with regards to not being able to accept the OC. it has never been an issue with us, but i know i could not accept her. the OW had many choices and it was hers to get pregnant by a married man. she chose to keep the baby, so she can raise it alone. find her own husband because she can't have mine.<P>make sure the baby is his. it would be a shame to go thru all this grief only to find out it is not his.<P>anyway, take care and come here often. read back to the old posts, you can learn a lot. i did when i first started coming here, and it helped me get to know everyone a little better.<BR><P>------------------<BR>happy_girl