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Joined: Oct 2000
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My W and I have not told the kids anything about the circumstances of my W pregnancy. I am wondering when will be a good time to do that? <P>Short history is my W has no contact w/ OM and he does not know about OC and will never know if we can help it. Our kids are 10 and 8. My W is due in March. We have both been WS. I am not going to go into any more detail. <P>Those of you who have been here for a while know that my wife is Tigger4jdt.<P>I would like to get some help on this issue.<P>Thanks<P>Jeff<P>------------------<BR>For God so loved the world that he gave...
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Joined: Feb 2000
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Okay, I'll give it a shot...<P> Personally, I don't see any reason to tell your kids about how this baby is not yours. *Maybe* in the distant (like 30 years from now) future...but I don't know that would be entirely necessary, esp. if you plan on keeping OC a secret from OM. <P> Good luck to you, whichever way you decide to go.<BR>~~Mynabird
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Joined: Oct 2000
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Mynabird,<P>I know what you are saying but we don't want to keep any secrets from our kids. One secret leads to another and before you know it you are never telling them the truth. We want to be totally honest with each other as well as the kids so that they will be honest with us. <P>We have made some really bad choices(W and I) and we do not want our kids to make the same ones. Honesty is the one gift you can give to your kids that will last a lifetime.<P>Thank you for your reply!!! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif) <P>------------------<BR>For God so loved the world that he gave...
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Joined: Dec 1969
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Sailorman:<P>I would suggest that you wait until your youngest is old enough to process the information, and his older siblings can help with this. So, I think you're probably clear for another 8-10 years, at least.<P>I'd also look for professional help to guide you in this, if you think you need it.
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Joined: Oct 1999
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<BR>SM59,<P>My own view is to tell the children the truth as soon as doing so is practical. K leans towards sufficient maturity to process the information - but the key question is whether that should apply to the OM's child. Its a tough call.<P>However, I will say this. You've said you want to keep the OM ignorant about the child if possible. What I'd advise is that you wait to tell your children until the OM's time to litigate paternity has expired. As a father of three, I've learned that kids can say the darndest things*!<P>Bystander<P>* My most recent favorite: My older son is five, and last week I was sitting on our couch talking to him. My younger son Noah walked by and Noah obviously needed a fresh diaper. My older son suddenly pulled away from me and exclaimed, "Something smells, and I'm afraid it might be you!" ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif)
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Joined: Oct 2000
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Sailorman, <P><BR> I agree with K and bystander, <BR>tell them when they're old enough to <BR>understand. Linzi doesn't know I'm not <BR>Angels' biological father. I don't think <BR>she's ready yet. At 7 years old, she's <BR>still trying to figure out how in-laws <BR>fit together, and how she's related to <BR>them. <BR> I do believe the children <BR>should know the truth, though, and that <BR>they should here it from their parents.<P><BR> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR><P>Gregg
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