duranie, tryingtomoveforward, CD, fluke, noodles...... and anyone i forgot! <P>WHERE ARE YOU ALL? if you are still lurking sometimes, PLEASE post and update. would love to hear from you, to see where you are, how you are.<P>happy_girl

Hi Happy_girl:<P>Things are straight with me and my H. He saw the oc's about 2 weeks ago for the first since the beginning of the year.<BR>They were a mess, no clothes on, smelly, stink, dirty, runny nose. H became very upset and cried about the condition they were in.<BR>I think that the ow is using the children as a probe. She knows that she can not have the man, so she trys to use the soft heart of my H to try and get her way concerning the boys.<BR>My H and I hope that the ow would come around and realize that the two important persons in this is the boys and their happiness is our only concern. If the ow do not let us do or help, than how can we.<BR>Thanks for thinking of me. ITS

hi ITS, good to hear from you. sorry for your husband that the children were in such bad conditions. it is sad how low women will sink to get attention from a man. neglecting her children is disgusting. glad you and H are doing good though! take care.<P><P>------------------<BR>happy_girl

Hi. I do lurk every now and then. Since I moved in October things seem to have changed in my mind. I don't have much energy to do anything, let alone write. I don't even get on the phone and talk to my friends who I moved away from, I kind of just dropped off the face of the earth. It seems after the initial hit of everything, and I am coming up on a year since it did hit, I feel rather empty. The fights, and the court junk, and the paternity junk, gave me something to concentrate. Now I am left with the aftermath of what has happened. Since I am pretty much depressed, I am not much help. I can't seem to do anything with my life let alone lend a helping hand to everyone here. I really feel like an empty shell, and who ever I was has disappeared. I am still trying to decide whether this is the life I can be happy with. I am sorry that I dropped out on everyone here. I truly love everyone here, but felt that I would not be able to help anyone. I hope that eveyone is doing well, I know the pain and struggles that you are all going through. You are all in my prayers.<P>babstr.

Babstr:<P>No, no, no! You are not just supposed to come here to GIVE help! You come here to GET help! You're never supposed to worry about giving help until you are able. In fact, your needing help helps those of us who are at other stages in this mess. <P>We need to fat mouth, Babstr. We need to listen to you and dispense our sage advice, (it makes us feel important-hahahaha) run our mouths and rant and rave about the current state of your life and our lives. It helps you, it helps us. <P>This is not an entirely altruistic society we have here in this little forum. We give to get, we give to help others, we take to heal and we take to learn. Don't NOT come here because you feel inadequate to help someone else. Just your life experience can help one of us or offer solace or commiseration for a newbie. <P>We need you, Babstr, and all the others who have dropped from sight. And we worry about you and the others.<P>I'm glad you lurk. At least you lurk! This is good, and it makes me feel better knowing you read this stuff and keep up. <P>As for being happy...what's 'happy'? We all have come to think we are guaranteed happiness when in reality all we can hope for is the 'pursuit' of happiness. The 'goodies' come after we survive the fire and recognize God's blessings in the ashes.<P>Keep lurking, Babstr...and chime in when you can, whether you feel you have something to offer or not. This depression of yours is 'situational' and you will emerge from it in time; but you have to make an effort. You have to search for help to get through this because you have kids depending on you and a family who loves and needs you. And for yourself and your peace of mind, you have to try to change your mindset, which is extremely difficult to do, but you can do it, I know you can.<P>It took me a long time to rid myself of the angst and depression. I just had a very severe bout of it from October until Christmas and it just left me. I realized the pain I was going through was necessary to go through to get to where I am right now, this moment. I have miles to go, but I know I am healing.<P>You have to feel lousy before you feel good. You're in a really crummy place right now and have so many issues and so much anger and depression, resentment and despair; being away from your family is especially hard because your support system is gone. But you can build a new one and I am hoping when the depression of winter is gone and spring comes, you will also be renewed and eager to reach out to others and begin your new life.<P>Babstr, we all understand what you are going through. We understand your pain and have been where you are in varying degrees. The whole point of this forum is to get help for ourselves to heal. It is a wonderful resource, Babstr. I hope you will utilize it's power for yourself. <P>When you're done wallowing, (I love to wallow) you will tap into the power source and we will be here for you. And, ironically, just by posting your problems, you will be helping us.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

babstr, Just by posting what you did and catnips response has helped me already today. I ve been having a crappy time lately. So see you are helping even if you dont think you are. So sorry that your feeling so alone. with love flowerseed

AMEN CATNIP!!!!<BR>BABSTR COME ON BACK! WE WILL BE HERE FOR YOU! HEY WE ARE IN THIS CRAP TOGETHER!!!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE! I should know better. I felt better just being able to talk (type) to adults. I am going to make an effort to get my butt back on track and get here more often. This week is just bad in general, I have a bad sinus infection, and it is my lovely hormonal week, plus this garbage that I carry around all the time. All that could make anyone crazy. I am back.<P>babstr.

welcome back babstr, don't forget to read my post titled babstr. keep your chin up girlfriend.<P><P>------------------<BR>happy_girl

<P>Hi Happy_girl and everyone else!<P>It's so nice to be missed! My computer has been down for about two months so I am way behind, lurking. You guys already know I lurk more than I write.<BR>H and I are doing fine. OC still comes over every other weekend. H has a new job. Did I tell you that already? God is good! <BR>I've also been busy with my new granddaughter. (long story) <BR>Thanks for thinking of me. I'll be lurking, but I promise to drop a line or two every now and then.<BR> CD<P>

I must say I agree with everyone about this forum being a place to get help and not just to give. I have know about the OC for about three years and I wish I had this forum back then. Best wishes to all for happiness. GABI1116