Hi all,<BR> I just wanted to let everyone know, the results of the DNA showed the baby is the stbx's. I would like to thank you for all the support you have given me since I came here, but it's time for me to move on and not let this situation rule my life anymore, after all, the marriage has failed, so why deal with heartache and think about what I don't have to anymore? I cut all contact with the stbx and his family. I am concentrating on what is best for me. I am hoping that will help me to heal. I hope nothing but the best comes to all of you. Again, thanks for being there for me.

ktgirl, i am so sorry that your marriage failed. you and i both know that you gave it your all, and that was all you could do. your stbx is going to miss what he had, by then you will have long since moved on in your life and will no longer need him. i pray for you to find happiness and get on with your life. and i pray for your boys too, that they can make it through all this too. take care girl. love, happy_girl<P>p.s. h took his DNA test on january 7 or somewhere around there. so we should have our results in the middle of february. though we know the results will be that it is his, could you keep us in your prayers that we can be strong through that tough time. thanks.<p>[This message has been edited by happy_girl (edited January 21, 2001).]

Yeah...kt....I'm real sorry too. I just wanted to thank YOU.....you've given as much,(or more) support around here as you've received. Take good care of yourself and your kids.....<P>I may be joining you soon....I suspect my W has comtacted OM! Our deal (for me staying) was NO CONTACT. If I determine conclusively that contact has occurred....I'm outta here!<BR>Their baby is due early next month.....maybe I'll wait til she's ready to go to the hospital and tell her to call OM or 911 !!<BR>Nah, I could't really do that to her.....can't even believe I could think up such a thing. I just pray I'm wrong about the contact.<P>Anyway, thanks again for being here, and may your "new" life be full of joy and happiness!!<P>Lou

Thank you, ktgirl, for all you have given to each one of us. You are a remarkable and wonderful woman who deserves much much more than what you have been dealt. I for one will truly miss you and wish you every good wish for your tomorrows.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

OMG ktgirl....I hate what you're going through.<BR>I will say a small prayer now.<P> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Happy girl,<BR> My favorite angel, of course I will keep you and your H in my prayers. Yes, it is a difficult time, but at least you know that your man is committed to you and your marriage, and that is the key. He understands that there are certain things he will have to deal with due to his actions, and is man enough to step up to the challenge. I pray that you all will continue to make it through this, I believe you will. <BR> As for me, I no longer need him in my life already. I think I made that clear to him by cutting off all contact, even with his family. It's just that I feel it is time to worry about me now. I have spent the last eight years of my life trying to shoulder more than my share of things so he wouldn't be uncomfortable. Well now he will have to handle it all on his own. I have a life to put back together. Best of luck to you, and hope that all goes well for you. Oh, and it was rough on the boys at first, but they are more worried now about me, and are very supportive of me. Kinda taking care of mom now. And it's a nice feeling, to finally have someone taking care of me, instead of being the one to do all the taking care. LOL Take care.

Lou,<BR> Thank you so much for your wonderful words. I really will miss all of you when I go, but I just feel it is necessary to back away from this whole thing for a while until I get myself back straight. It's a bit of a trigger now to come here and look at the words "Marriage Builders" knowing that mine didn't make it. Hopefully, that too will pass.<BR> I hope that your wife hasn't had contact with the OM. It's amazing how thoughtless straying spouses can be with regards to our feelings. Instead of feeling blessed and lucky that you still choose to remain in the marriage despite the fact that she carries the OM's child, she possibly has chosen to risk the love that has made it possible for you to do so. For your sake, I hope that she didn't contact, but if you find proof that she did, please do what is best for yourself. <BR> And about the 911 thing, it's just a coping device. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's quite a burden you have to shoulder, and every thought can't be rosy and bright. I won't even discuss all the decidedly "unrosy" thoughts I have had!! It's just a part of the rollercoaster ride. It doesn't mean you are a bad person, just that you are stressed, and things that ordinarily wouldn't enter your mind are doing so. <BR> Thank you for the wishes for my new life, and may your life go great for you as well. Take care of yourself. You are a good man, and I hope that your wife realizes that.

Catnip,<BR> Thank you so very much for always being there for me as well. I really will miss so many of you. Maybe someday, I will be able to handle popping in for visits, but for right now, I feel I must avoid anything that brings back those negative feelings again. I need to take care of me. I wish you the best as well, and will be thinking of you too.

Debi,<BR> Thanks so much for the prayer. I have sneaked a peek around a bit, and it seems that there are a lot of good things happening as well as bad. My life is getting better now, just from leaving this weight that has been on me behind. I am not naive enough to think that it will never cross my mind again, I know it will. But by taking myself out of the situation, I feel it will enable me to heal myself, by not having it in my face each and every day, as it has been since July of 99. I know I did my best. I just overestimated the goodness in the partner I chose for life. You take care as well. Wish you nothing but the best in your future also.

Dear ktgirl,<P>You will be sorely missed on the forum, but we all understand that the number one priority is to take care of yourself. <P>May God grant you strength and wisdom as He guides you towards true happiness. I know you will find it ...<P>- Heavenly

ktgirl, I wish you the best I hope you find your life gets better and you find the peace you deserve.I can feel the sigh of relief already. with love flowerseed

Heavenly,<BR> Trust me, I will miss you guys too. And eventually, I hope to be strong enough to come back and maybe once again be able to help others through this difficult situation, but right now, it's just something I feel the need to distance myself from. I think it will help to not immerse myself in things like this for right now. He has given me the strength I needed to finally break free of the whole situation. Well, and his mother as well. Just by thier thoughtlessness and insensitivity towards me and my feelings. So I am taking advantage of that to launch me in the right direction. Take care, and thanks for being so understanding. Let me get Kay healed, and then we will see what happens after that.

Flowerseed,<BR> Thank you for the kind words. Yeah, that was a pretty big sigh of relief, let me tell you! I hope everything goes well for you in the future as well. You all take care of each other, you are a wonderful bunch of people.

You leave here a better person, regardless of what trauma you had to go through to get where you are. As long as you use that wisdom to make a better life, then it was not a wasted experience.<P>Please drop in and pass on your wisdom when you feel strong enough to do so. Those of us still "back here" on this journey can benefit from your experience and are VERY grateful that you have shared this with us.<P>Take care... Carolyn

Carolyn,<BR> I will be back as soon as I feel I can handle it. I have a lot of feelings yet to deal with, despite being removed from the situation. I think things will be better once I have actually made it through the divorce. At least I hope. It's pretty shaky right now, as my body has decided to just totally fall apart on me at this point. I am nauseated all the time, and just exhausted. I don't know, maybe I have an ulcer or something, not really sure, but I think it's just tension. I am back losing weight again, not being able to keep much down, so I guess there is a plus. LOL I can get my shape back into shape and maybe someone new will appreciate it? Tee hee. Thank you for your kind words, and I won't leave you all forever, so don't be surprised when I get myself together and pop back in. Please take care of each other, and I will see you all again soon.