Well OC is here. A little girl delivered about an hour ago via emergency C-section and 27 wks. I thought I was prepared for this, but I'm not. OM wasn't there because it was so quick. My kids had gone to see W and left at about 9:30pm and baby delivered about 11pm. Pray for me and this uncertain situation. I'm scared of what lies in the future. OC is going to be in the hospital for about 12 wks and I hope that gives W time to think more about us. Advice anyone?<BR>Floored

hey floored, i don't know what to say to you. this is such a difficult situation. i will pray for the little girl, she is so tiny. i pray your wife will come to her senses and go home to you and your children. don't have any advice, just know you are in my prayers.<P>happy_girl

floored,<P>I too don't not know what to say. I am praying for you and your family. <P>babstr.

Dear Floored:<P>At least part of the anticipation is over and thank God the OM wasn't there to bond with your wife. At least they didn't share in the birth...you were there instead, right?<P>How is the child? What do the doctor's say about her odds at survival? How is your wife doing? Everyone here will be praying for you, Floored, and holding fast for a miracle.<P>This is an opportunity to Plan A as best you can, show support and love to your wife and try to draw her back as best you can. Whatever happens, you will know you were there for her and have done everything possible.<P>Now it's time to leave it to God's hands and His will and see what the next few weeks will bring.<P>This has been very difficult and emotional for you, Floored, but you got through it. How does your wife seem towards you now? Was she grateful you were there? <P>One step at a time, Floored.<P>Prayers<P>Catnip =^^=

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I sure do need them. Catnip, no I was not there with my W due to being in Plan B. I wouldn't have been able to make it there in time anyway. I found out today that OM made it there about 6am. Yippeee! I also found out that OC's middle name is OM's late mothers name. This just seems like another slap in the face to me. When will I lose all love for this woman? I wish sometimes that I would lose it automatically and just be done with her. <BR>K, I hope you're out there. What does this look like to you? Purposely naming this baby after the OM? Does this mean she is still in lala land? How thick can this fog be? I am so happy I have my kids. K, I don't know how you survived your two months in Plan B without yours. You are a strong man.<BR>Floored

Floored I will pray for you today. It will be the same thing I pray for...God will show me the path I should take....<P>Bless you dear loving man...<P> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

floored, So sorry to hear of your latest struggle. Does om have to pay for the child being in the hospital for 12 weeks. The cost of this can be huge. I sure hope you dont get stuck with this. You are in our prayers.with love flowerseed <P>------------------<BR>`Look ahead or you will find yourself behind.

floored:<P>Bottom line. Affairs are built on fantasy. They don't typically last when reality is injected into them. How do you think having a 13 week premature baby who's going to be in the hospital for 3 months is going to be for the two of them??<P>Stressful.<P>Your job is to stay away from your wife, and not allow her actions to drain your love for her. Stick to plan B...<P>God bless.

Floored you are a good man. Thank god your children have you. <P>K has given you the best advice. Stay with Plan B. This is for YOU. You cannot be drained up and used up when your children need you. <P>Don't worry about your W and OM and what all the little signs are (OC middle name, etc.). That will only eat up space in your head. You don't deserve to have them take away that space. Let your W lean on OM at this time. Let them learn the reality of what a relationship is really built on... all those things that you do in the "bad times", not just the fun ones. I am sure they do not have the stuff it takes to survive this. But you shouldn't have to worry about that. Let them deal with it.<P>Hug your children. Focus there. And take pride in knowing you are a good man who knows what comes first in life. Take care... Carolyn

Dear floored,<BR>There is a lot of truth to the saying, "It's always darkest before the dawn." Probably you are extremely tired of people telling you that. Right now, in addition to knowing your w has borne om's child, I am sure that finding out about oc's middle name has twisted the knife in the wound. But one significant benefit comes from facing the very worst, by which I mean holding firm to plan b during this uncertain and painful time. For the rest of your life, you will know to an absolute certainty that you can face anything and survive. For me, that means that as hard as facing ow during visitation may be, it absolutely cannot be worse than the time I found h and ow sleeping soundly in bed together. That happened the day after I took ow out to dinner (and paid for the meal) with my h and some other people from work, desperately believing, although I knew better, that she was just a "friend." Believe it or not, there is a certain grim satisfaction to be had from hiting the all time low. At some point, whatever your outcome, things HAVE to get better, one way or another. And you will never, never have to wonder could you have faced the darkest moment, because you have already done so. During this time, focus on the kindness of strangers, the cashier who tells you to have a nice day, the teacher who gives your child extra help with schoolwork. Know that you are strong because your very survival has proved that you are. Be confidant that God will not allow your w and om to experience a carefree and blissful time of it. He is on the side of the marriage. Also, as to almost wishing that you would lose all love for your wife, I know how you feel. i honestly used to sort of wish that my h would die, just so he wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore. But I believe that if God meant for you to lose all feelings for your wife, he would have allowed you to do so by now. There is a reason that you still have love, and one way or another you will be rewarded for your courage. You are in my prayers.<BR>Sincerely, Donna (cd)

Dearest Floored,<P>My heart is hurting so much for you at this time. I have said it before, that your W can make me SO angry when I read your posts!! I told my H of the middle name situation, and he feels the same. In fact, he asked me if I was going to cry, which is something that comes VERY easily for me at this time. I just continue to pray that her eyes will be opened to the fact that you do love her very much. Otherwise, why would you feel this pain? I have to admit, I did tell my H that I would love to B**** slap your W for what she is doing. I just don't understand, myself being in the same situation, how she can't see how much she is hurting you, and that you are the firm foundation, not the one built on the sand, for her life?!?! Just like my feelings for the OWs who are draining the support from all these others. Yes, it does take 2 to tango, but, it was the OW decission to keep the child and raise it, they should do it on their own, and not take from the other children in the MM's family. And I can say that, as I do know the pain of giving your child up for adoption. Yes, it's painful, but if you look at it from the angle of helping out a childless family, it does take a little bit of the pain away. I guess I am getting up on that soapbox again. What I wanted to say was that I feel for you, and pray that your W will come to her senses soon. I also hope this OC survives, and will end up a healthy little girl.<P>You are still in our prayers.<P>Tigger

floored,<P>Just curious, what part of Texas are you in? <P>I am in El Paso and my email is lastnamejohn@hotmail.com<P>May the Lord Bless You and Keep You, <BR>John

Thank you to all who have responded I value you all so much. The first thing I do when a new problem arises, is post here to see what my cyber-friends have to say. It is so comforting to know others who have been or are in my situation. On the other hand, it is very frustrating to not have a friend nearby who can understand the hurt and pain..you just can comfort someone or give them good advice if you haven't walked in their shoes. Tigger..why don't you come down here and b****slap my W!!! Cat fight!! If that would help I would pay for you a plane ticket! Continue to pray for me and I will for each of you.<BR>Floored

Flowerseed,<BR>In response to your post, fortunately in TX all I have to do is do a DNA test to show I am not the father..at any time, before of after the birth. Also, what my W may not have realized when she went on Medicaide, was that the Attorney General will pursue the father to pay all costs!! I thought that was so funny that here they are thinking they will put the bill on everyone else and pretty soon they will get a little bill that will easily surpass $100K!! Ha Ha!<BR>floored

floored, I bet that will make om think twice about what he is doing. I bet he never thought he would fing himself in the poor house heehe ha its about time these pig headed screwballs get some back. with love flowerseed<P>------------------<BR>`Look ahead or you will find yourself behind.