OK. I am new to this part of the forum. It has been almost a year since I've posted anything period. Here's some background.<P>A year ago my H had OW during a brief separation. We have been working for the past year on moving on. For the first few weeks or so after his returning to me she would try and call him all the time and began claiming that she was pregnant. He changed his phone number and for the most part was not contacted by her. She knew the phone number of some of his friends and I think occasionally would try and contact him. Just a week or so ago, I received a mail notice of a court hearing with her as the defendant. I was devastated. I just thought she must have been lying. He still thinks that there is a good possibility it is not his. <P>Can someone tell me what to expect and how much a DNA test costs? I don't even know what this initial hearing would be.<P>He says that a few weeks or month ago, a friend of his told him that she had contacted him and she had had a baby. (Nice of him to inform me before I found out by myself while his children from his first marriage were visiting for the first time in a while.) Apparently he says the baby does not have his last name and he has heard from some of his winner friends that if it doesn't have his name then he is not responsible. Sounds like a crock to me.<P>H is the kind to bury his head in the sand and not deal with these issues. He says he's going to call and get it postponed. Can he do this? I hope so. It is next Tuesday in a county about 4-5 hour drive from here. Also, does this necessarily mean that child support is filed or does there have to be proof first of parenthood? Would there still be any time for me to do the "faux-divorce" type thing? I'm afraid to mention to my family until I at least know something. But my family is already stretched due to his previous CS obligations to 1st W (which are behind)and if there's anything I can do to protect our money and my childrens' rights to support, I'd like to.<P>Any advice would be appreciated. I'll probably be the one to have to take the bull by the horns...he just thinks that he never has to deal with anything, but I'm afraid that this will not just go away. She would probably get a default judgement on him like his 1st W did and nail him to the wall.<P>I'll also be praying for the others in here which I have just read about. I know that God will bring about whatever needs to be, but it helps to help ourselves.<P>Sorry for the rambling...Mariel

Dear BIM;<P>Do let your H bury his head in the sand. That's how the OW can and will get over on him and you.<P>If your papers were like ours, it stated that if you are questioning paternity rights, YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND need's to write a letter and send it by certified mail, requesting a PT. We did not have to pay for ours, because by sending it in before the requested date, the state took care of it.<P>My H just wanted to let it go and not question it, but it was not his nor OW's choice, it was minds. <BR>By the way, OW never took OC's to have DNA test done, so we support when we can, because OW knew that H had a family and our girls come first.<BR>Never take anything for granted and don't let H do either.<BR>ITS

bim,<P>First of all the last name thing doesn't mean anything. They don't care what the kid's name, they only care who the child's DNA has. You can try to get a change in date, but in our state you only got to do that once. If you don't show the second time, they will find your H. <P>If you cooperate with the state and do the test, they usually pay for it. My state said that if you tried to deny it, and then a court forced you to take the test, than the cost was switched to the man. <P>There has to be proof before they will get child support. So once the DNA results are in they start charging. You also need to make sure that they don't include any income that you might receive in the child support. If your H is already behind, they are not going to be thrilled that there is another child. I would say to call a lawyer. get solid information before he has to go to do the test. <P>I am so sorry that you have to face this kind of pain. I hope that this is wrong and that the OC is not your husbands. God bless you, you are in my prayers.<P>babstr.

In PA and NC: If the man turns out to be the father of oc, he pays for the DNA test. If the ow was wrong about who the father was, she pays for it. so if it is the man's child, he pays regardless of whether he contests it or not. If I were you (and if I had known this back then) I would ask a lawyer to try to block them from making your h take the test at all. I know of different cases where they have been successful in doing this. Especially when the ow has slept around a lot with different guys. But you have to make sure that your h never acknowledged in any way (written or to others who might testify) that he is indeed the father.<BR>The DNA test in our case cost 300 dollars. My h was allowed to pay for it in installments after the results came back. <BR>You need to get a lawyer right now. If you avoid taking every possible route now, you will regret it later. I know this from experience. There is so much I could have done then that I didn't know about. Your situation sounds so much like mine did that my heart breaks for you.<BR>By all means, go and file for your own child support RIGHT NOW. If you think that cs agents will question you about the fact that you are currently living with him, get a p.o. box for one of you and say that that person is staying with friends until a permanent residence is found. You don't even have to get the faux divorce to do this,you just have to claim separation. And if you say that the reason you are leaving is because of the ow, they will even include spousal support in the figures. (All these things are on the list of things I wish I had known back when.)<BR>And make sure when you get a lawyer that you talk to a few before you decide on one. Most lawyers will consult for free, or at least will offer low consultation rates. Only hire one that is completely on YOUR side. make sure to tell him up front that you will not sit on the sidelines. Having a great lawyer who is all for you makes a big difference. Good luck. I'll be praying that your h's results come back different than my h's. we also though the ow was lying.<BR>-Donna (cd)

I'm condused. If the OW is listed as a defendant, that means she's the one on trial. (She has to "DEFEND" herself.) If your H is being taken to court, he should be the defendant.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I've got a lawyer's number to call, just have to find the best time.<BR>Yes, I noticed earlier that I had incorrectly used the word defendant...it was the middle of the night when I decided to check this board and do the post. OW was the plaintiff I guess you call it, or whatever other word they use in those type of cases.

bim: <P>I was really hoping OW was the defendant. It's good you got a lawyer. Good luck and let us know what happens.<BR>