We spoke the other night and he told me that she was giving him a lot of problems ,but it was his problem. He says that I don't need to get involved. He said that he would handle it.She says she doesn't want him in her home and that he could pick the baby up.Normally he sees the baby at her apartment. Ow's mother lives with her and is always there.So he went there yesterday and stayed quite a while.They live an hour and a half away and he hasn't seen her in 8 weeks. I just don't know why he won't do anything legal to bring this situation to some kind of closure.He acts as if he is so fed up with ow,but he won't give me much details.Just that everytime they talk it ends up with her calling him an [censored] and a coward.Why would she be calling him a coward?I do have to say that things between us are increasingly better.In fact better than they have been in years,so I don't know.

These are all things your Husband is telling you. This is the information he wants you to have. You don't know if what he is telling you is true or not, you are left to accept or reject his explanation, take his word for it without any verification from the OW or her mother, right? How do you know what he is telling you is the truth? It could be a smokescreen to buy time to be with her and the OC. He could be telling you what he wants you to hear and you could be accepting it because it is too painful to admit the realities of all this.<P>Blue, it sounds like your husband wants the best of both worlds and as long as he can keep you from making any demands to make a decision, you will continue to wait for your husband while he spends time at the OW's apartment and listen to his illogical excuses when he gets home. <P>Please pay attention to the obvious and don't be afraid to see the realities, whatever they may be. I hope he is telling you the truth but it sounds so suspicious to me.<P>You're in my prayers.<P>Catnip =^^=

BLUE00, I know exactly how you feel. I was being told in the begining the same things, finally I told h that we need to take legal action and start to rebuilding and moving forward. I also told him that if we were going to keep our marriage intact that I would have to be included in this or there was no way we could handle this. If he hasn't gotten legal help he can go to the DFAC and request DNA to prove paternity and they intern will set up c and v with oc and it will not cost as much if you go and get your own attorney. We happened to have a good friend who is att. so he has really helped us out. You may see a change in her attitude also if you get everything legitimized. OW in our situation has started harrassing and calling and we had att. to call and tell her now that we have gone throught the courts she is not to have contact with either of us unless it concerns OC. She still makes excuses to call but we have told gp's of OC to call if they feel we need to know anything. h calls every other day or so to check on OC because OW is not htere for him the way she should. I too was told how things were going and that he didn't care about her but recently he admitted that he still had feelings for OW but they were not what he had before. H says she has treated him like a yo-yo. As long as her and OM are doing good she doen't bother h. As soon as they have problems our problems start. H finally told her in front of me that he wants nothing else to do with her. he is @ home w/me and that's where he wants to be and where he is going to stay. The only thing I can tell you from experience is follow your gutt feeling and insist on being included, if that is what you really want. I am at the point now that our v are about to start and I'm getting really worried how I'm going to do. I know that I love my h and I have to face the cards I've been dealt and that I am going to find the strength and courage to do it. I take it one day at a time and there are alot of bad days but I try to keep looking forward to the good ones to come. I hope that I helped in some small way. Know that I am here with you and will try to help in any way possible. Just hang in there and fight for what you want and deserve. My thoughts, prayers and best wishes are here for you.<P>------------------<BR>lost24

My h went to see the oc on Sunday.He was there about 5 hours.He was suppose to take the baby off and not stay at the apt.,but I think the baby probably cried when he tried.He hasn't seen her in almost 2 months.She is only 16 months old.She probably didn't know who he was. The ow hasn't been calling the store since he went up there.Maybe a connection, I don't know.He hasn't said a word about it. All I know is that this eats at my guts at a subconsciene level all of the time. I need something,but I don't know what. Thanks for the posts.