ANNIEM, I JUST READ YOUR LETTER UNDO ROLL CALL. I AM THE BEGINNING OF YOUR SITUATION. WE HAVE GONE TO COURT AND NOW FACE V. OC ALMOST 2 AND I HAVE ONLY SEEN PICTURES BECAUSE OW DOES NOT WANT OC AROUND ME. SHE HAS THREATENED NOT TO LET H SEE OC. LAWYER HAS TOLD HER THAT ONCE H PICKS UP OC SHE HAS NO SAY SO AS TO WHO OR WHERE HE TAKES OC. AFFRAID THIS IS GOING TO GET UGLY. WE HAVE 2 G'S 11 AND 5. 11 KNOWS AND WE ARE GOING TO TELL 5 NEXT WEEK. HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT. I TELL MYSELF AND I KNOW OC CAN NOT HELP ANY OF THIS BUT IT IS ALOT FOR ME TO HANDLE AND I'M NOT SURE IF I CAN HANDLE IT. I HAVE HANDLED EVERYTHING SO FAR THE BEST I CAN BUT REALLY GETTING AFFRAID NOW. OW IS GOIN TO MAKE THIS VERY HARD FOR US. SHE WANTS H TO BRING G'S TO HER P HOUSE WHERE HER AND OC LIVE TO SEE OC. I HAVE TOLD H UNDER NO UNCERTAIN TERMS ARE THEY TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR THIS OW. SHE DOESN'T TALE CARE OF HER OWN AND I DO NOT WANT G'S TO THING IT'S OK TO DO WHAT SHE HAS DONE. SHE WAS A FRIEND OF OURS AND THE G'S. WITH FRIENDS LIKE HER WHO THE H--- NEEDS ENEMIES????? H WANTS TO REGAIN MY LOVE AND TRUST AND GET OUR MARRIAGE BACK ON TRACK BUT NOT SURE IF WE CAN. I REALLY DO WANT TO BUT SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED, SO MANY LIES. I'M JUST AFFRAID THIS WILL BE ANOTHER ONE OF HE LIES AND TURN AROUND AND BITE ME IN THE BUTT!!TRYING TO KEEP BEING STRONG AND FIGHTING BUT GIVING OUT OF FIGHT BUT NOT LOVE FOR HIM AND I THINK THAT'S WHY I'M STILL IN HERE FIGHTING!!!!<P>------------------<BR>lost24

Dear Lost24,<BR>I am not anniem, but still am so close to your situation. I can tell you that ow telling h to keep oc away from you is all part of the game. The ow in our case said the same thing. Too bad for her. Just as she was your worst nightmare come true, you will be hers, because there is not one thing she can do to prevent you from having visitation along with your h. I'm sure you know this already. At least the courts respect us in this one small thing. Your best defense here is a good offense, like the old saying goes. make sure that at ALL times you and h are presenting yourself as a TEAM. I personally wouldnever allow h to visit with oc at anybody's house, with or without ow present, if I was not along. This is not meant to be cold. it's just that I feel the oc need to bond with both of us together because, like the bible says, we are one unit. I really don't mean to criticize, so please don't take it that way, but I wouldn't even let my children visit with oc at gp's house because they are seeing way too much of ow's turf that way. I think it's best for the kids never to be exposed to anything like that except in the security of their own homes, which is why my kids will not see oc until we have gotten past the first couple visits and are able to bring oc to our house and include her in the family that way. The way I see it, my kids will know oc, but they will NEVER have to know anything about ow that is not absolutely necessary. I know your d's already know ow. I think that it is so sad that she would betray not only you, but little girls whom she was friendly with. You are in my prayers. Please keep writing. I like to read your responses.<BR>-cd

cd collins, I have just read your comments and I do not take anything as critisism. I cherish and appreciate anyone's opinion. As for our g's going to OW p's house to see the OC that has only happened the 1 time and h understands that it is to never happen again. The only reason it happened the 1 time is because we had not gone to court yet nd too many people knew about hte OC. We were concerned that someone would say something in front of the g's unintentionally so we told 11 and she's doing ok with it. She wants to go visit again but also understands that there have been problems with OW and says she wants to wait until we have worked thinggs out. She is pretty grown up for her age. She has been through alot in the past three years. Not only have we had to deal with OW abd OC but 11 was molested by 16yr old son of my step brother. We got her into counciling immediately and she is doing ok with that but it has caused her to really cling to m and d. She talks to both of us about how things are going w/c and v. We do not keep anything from her and therefore she realizes that the OW is being the problem. Like you said the OW will be her own best enemy. So far she has pushed and pushed and caused only heartache for herself. Not to sound crude,BUT I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF HER PAIN !!!However it will never compensate for the pain and anquish that she has put me through. I am glad that H has seen her for the coniving ***** that I knew she was going to be. It's all about her and the h--- with anybody else. Like the old saying, "What goes around comes around" well its finally starting to turn around. I only hope that it keeps turning and we get through this together. Looking forward to weekend. It is long over due and much needed. Time for the g's to come home from school so I'll check in later and chat somemore. Thanks again for your opinions and concern.<P>------------------<BR>lost24