I saw in your reply to a post that you are suing the ow for personal injury. Can you tell me more about this? how long has the a in your case been over? How did you go about filing this? How much are you suing for? Any info you can give me would be very appreciated. I have truly wanted to go this route for some time, but I don't know much about how to do it. I think that ow should pay for not only my personal injury, but for emotional distress that her actions will cause my sons. Please, tell me more.

cd:<P>The affair lasted three weekends in November 1998. He met her at a party he attended alone after the worst fight we had ever had on October 25th, 1998. He came home and he told me he had met a girl at the party and he had a good time. I just walked away never thinking for a moment that he was taken with her or that an affair was about to begin. We had been married twenty years and there had never been any infidelity in our marriage. I thought we were too close for that. However, he had been acting strangely for about a year and had resumed drinking after nearly 18 years of sobriety.<P>I knew he was getting sick and I was beside myself with worry.<P>The following week, he flew to New York and spent the weekend with her. He came home very drunk and when I picked him up at the airport, he cried that he had just ruined the best thing that ever happened to him. When he got home, he threatened to kill himself and placed a loaded shotgun under his chin, all very drunk, all very dramatic.<P>I found his business card in his wallet with the OW's name and address and phone # on it and called her a couple days later, telling her he was very sick, was an alcoholic, needed help and begged and pleaded with her not to see him again. She told me in her not so compassionate way, that if I called and harassed her again, she'd kick my [censored].<P>She was warned. I begged. She knew he was married and living with me. She told my husband I would 'get over it'.<P>He flew out to see her again in NY two weeks later and spent another weekend with her. In the hotel room the day he left, she emerged from the bathroom and told him she had taken an EPT test and she wasn't pregnant. He wondered why she would even think she was, but in his alcoholic stage, dismissed it as a game she was playing.<P>Two weeks later on Thanksgiving weekend she flew to Texas, where he had met her the previous month, to spend the holiday with her sister and insisted my husband join her down there. He did. She succeeded in getting pregnant that weekend which I believe was her intent all along.<P>That was their last weekend together.<P>I contacted an attorney in Texas after going through a list of possibilities trying to find one that would be able to initiate a lawsuit of some kind against her for deliberately, willfully and intentionally got herself pregnant knowing full well my husband was married to me and was sick.<P>The attorney I found, via Divine Intervention, was young, eager and dedicated to set a precedence against this woman. He knew we would not get any money from her, but that wasn't important to him. He wanted to end this kind of predatory behavior and be a part of ending the unjust income share scheming that has become an epidemic.<P>He agreed to sue her for Personal Injury, MY personal injury from her actions, on a contingent basis. We are not sueing for any real money, we are just trying to make a difference and for me, the satisfaction of some kind of embarrasing retaliation against her, some kind of consequence for her actions. Self satisfaction and to perhaps begin some kind of notariety about this special situation we all find ourselves in here on this site.<P>It ain't about the money, Honey.<P>Catnip =^^-=<p>[This message has been edited by catnip (edited February 08, 2001).]

One more thing...try to find a young attorney fresh out of law school who is still uncorrupted and has a fire in his belly for justice.<P>Catnip =^^=

Hi catnip- I too have some questions for you. I was given you name from another board. I live in Tx. and would like to get some revenge on the OW. Both she and my H are in AA and for many years carried on this affair under the cover of going to AA meetings. I have an huge amount of incrimanating evidence but no true admission of guilt from H that they did it. He is lying. It has been 2 years now- the fighting is less but all trust is gone. She continued to have contact with him for 7 months after D day. I banged on her door, sent numerous e-mails, left many messages on her machine, sent copies of all evidence to her. She finally called the police for harassment so I had to back off. H says he does not want a D. We have been married 35 years. What I would like to know. Since we are still married, is there anything I can sue her for. I don't care about money. She is very afraid of confrontation and it would make her really unhappy if she had to deal with this in public. She would never talk or write to me. The only response I ever got was I cornered her at an AA function and told her she owed me an apology for having an affai with my H for all these years. All she said was "I probably do." I hate her. Feel free to e-mail me or post it here. Thank you for lisening. dax

Dear dax,<BR>I just spoke with a lawyer who told me that unless I got divorced, I couldn't prove any real damages. I know that a lot of women here have decided to do that, and I totally understand why and agree that it is a wise choice. However, I can't bring myself to consider that option. I just cannot divorce my h even knowing that it wouldn't be a "real" divorce. I guess I'm stuck on the notion that my marriage has suffered enough desecration as it is, and I can't be the one to add furthur injury, regardless of the end mean. Also, because of religious reasons and the fear that God will no longer bless the union and that somehow i would lose his protection of it. (I would really like to know where my strong religious convictions were when I was actively contributing to the environment that spawned my h's affair. Certainly didn't care too much about what God thought of me then.) I also can't take the chance of doing irreparable harm to my h, which divorce, even in writing only, would do. Especially since he is struggling with pain and guilt now anyway. I don't however have a problem with filing for child support to make sure my kids get their fair share. don't have to divorce for that. Just have to convice h that I am not secretly planning on walking out on him. Anyway, that's the answer I got here in the grand state of PA.<BR>-cd

dax: Post your e-mail here and I will contact you.<P>cd: Our Lord is a merciful God and whatever tactic you use to protect yourself and your children would probably be understood. <P>If you divorced, the sin would belong to the OW and the system because THEY are the ones putting your marriage asunder. I believe as long as I follow God's law and not man made laws, I will be blessed and protected.<P>I am from the midwest, the affair took place both in Texas and NY. NY is very liberal and I wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell to prevail in a Personal Injury case there. But, Texas is different and even though I don't live there, the affair occurred there as well and I can sue her there for Personal Injury and I do not have to be divorced to do this...it helps a great deal, however, but it isn't necessary.<P>dax, I am not doing this for revenge as much as I am doing it to make a point, to end an injustice, to perhaps force her to take responsibility for her actions and to dissuade her from the continually onslaught of lawsuits and harassment from her. The attorney wants to set a precedence and be involved in changing the unjust support laws and men's rights issues.<P>I admit it will be a very satisfying thing to have her legally 'whacked', but that is only part of the big picture. It is time for some change, some awareness of the gross injustice of financially rewarding predatory opportunists. I want to make an example of her...the poster child for child support reform.<P>Catnip =^^= <P>

Catnip Thanks for the reply. My e-mail is krisack@usa.net. It is a secure address that my H does not have pW to. I feel that any woman that uses a great recovery program like AA for her own means to try and steal a married man deserves some punishment. It takes 2 to have an affair but my husband is not the kind to go looking for a woman. I have had other women in the program tell me how they felt they could share with him because he never hit on them. This woman is also big in her church. Never even an apology which I asked her for many times. If I could just get a public apology it would help. God bless you . dax