From all of your replies, it seems that my H's CS is within the law. I was so sure that while I was swooning, and my H was hiding his tail, our lawyer was laughing and making off with our extraordinarilly high retainer and fees(another financial slap in the face). I thought we would be able to go to court and say, "Gee, you forgot about our legitimate kids... What lifestyle are we talking about?"<P>Okay, enough. What can we do?<P>Bystander, you wrote about CS laws being reformed more than once, can't they be reformed again? Where would it be the best to start? At the local, state or federal level? You are so informed and eloquent, I would be willing to stuff your envelopes,lick your stamps and carry your signs. Tell me who to contact, and where to get more information on CS laws and precidents. <P>It just seems that if people knew about how unfair this is, they would not believe it. I know that until this happened to me, I had no idea. We write on this board, but who reads it? Us. <P>cd, wrote of an opportunity to appear on Judge Judy. That would be so cool and a good start, but what about other ways to get the word out. I know I am thinking big, but Oprah or Rosie. They seem to really care about families and this injustice strikes directly at the nuclear family and the OWs who are trying to break it up. Dr. Gary? (on Oprah)does many shows on infidelity. Maybe its been done, I don't have time to watch a lot of TV. People really need to know about the OWs collecting these exorbitant amounts of CS. <P>Personal example:if my Hs OW had another child by another man and collected the same amount of CS, she would clear more a month than I do as a 6th year teacher. Either that says we pay way too much in CS, or we pay teachers way little. <P>We need to get our stories out. <P> <P>[This message has been edited by calamity jane (edited February 10, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by calamity jane (edited February 10, 2001).]

Dear CJ,<BR>you are right on both counts: Too much cs, far too little teachers' pay. As for getting story out - took your advice and submitted proposal to Oprah's show. I am not a big Rosie fan (nothing against her, just never really watched her show) so I will leave that to somebody else. I have already composed letters to my state's reps, so we'll see if they respond. I personally would be willing to do ANYTHING to stop this great injustice. I have even thought about building a website just for that purpose - I actually teach web design in a summer computer camp for teens - but haven't quite come up with the format. Keep getting stuck on the idea of it being, "***** ****** is a filthy sl**.com" Anybody else have ideas? In order for reform to happen, I think we ALL have to work very hard to see that it gets started.<BR>-cd

calamity jane and cd collins,<P>If you guys get answers let us know! I think it's a terrific idea for a show. <P>Our ow hasn't given birth yet.(may)<P>H is doing nothing...waiting to see if she sues for P. Then we'll get a lawyer.<P>Anyone else reading this....3 people have seen her up close. She's in 1st part of month 7. around 28 wks according to her may 1 due date.<BR> She's normally 5-6 about 145. She only looks wider and has a few rolls of fat around her middle...no "pop" out tummy. It's her 4th pregnancy and people say if she IS preg. maybe she's lying about the date....what do you think?<P> Still wearing reg. clothes ...no maternity shirt. It's driving me crazy..I guess we'll have to WAIT and see.<P> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

gem, my 4th preg by 7 months I was huge. I dont know it could be she is just eating alot of twinkies and just playing more games with you guys. with love flowerseed

Dear gem,<BR>During my fourth pregnancy I looked like I swallowed Moby [censored] whole. By the time you get to your fourth pregnancy, the old ab muscles aren't what they used to be. Wouldn't surprise me if she's lying about onw thing or another. I'll be praying that she's full of spit about the whole thing and that you at least will be spared this part of the nightmare.<BR>-cd

Calamity, cd, et al:<P>Whatever any of you decide to do to bring this issue to the forefront as an injustice to families, count me in.<P>Bystander has been working diligently behind the scenes for at least 18 months, ferreting out information on the unjust and corrupt court system and predatory OW's looking for a meal ticket. He used to be more visible on the forum, dispensing advice and explaining in detail the way the system works, as well as the history of how we got to this flagrantly unfair and unethical political boondoggle.<P>If we all band together to make change, I am fairly confident he will lead the charge, as long as he has our cooperation and our help. It would mean letters, testimonies and opening up our private lives. IF you're ready to make the commitment, then perhaps we can begin making small changes through a clear, agreed upon route for all of us to follow.<P>Catnip =^^=<P>

cd,or anybody who has sent letters to there state rep could you post one of your letters that you composed so I can get a idea as to how this should sound. Iam not to great at that kind of thing. I knew the first day you came here that it was a good sign. with love flowerseed <p>[This message has been edited by flowerseed (edited February 10, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>IF you're ready to make the commitment, then perhaps we can begin making small changes through a clear, agreed upon route for all of us to follow.<P>Catnip =^^=<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>It's too early to know what's up with our situation. I would write a letter to my state reps. if I thought it could help in anyway.<P>My suggestion is a letter from us all to all state reps in the usa. Like a political mailing so to speak. Or an E-mail to all.<P>I got both fired up and scared at the prospect of going public as 1/2 of our family knows nothing.(aunts, cousins,uncles etc)<P>Hey cd and Flowerseed....Really? THAT big?<BR>We (me and sister) can't figure why she'd lie to her mom my H her H her kids and her brothers about being preg.<P>If she weren't wouldn't you think she'd have left a message on H business phone? She hasn't called in 8 wks. but why wouldn't she let him know?<P>Maybe she IS preg and doesn't show yet. My sis and son's girlfriend said it looks like she was but is now fat kinda blubbery around the middle....No "basketball" of any kind...just soft rolls. I don't get it.<P>I do pray for a miracle but will not believe anything till I know for sure.<BR> Debi<P>ps....I was looking like I was having twins in my 5th mo. Same w/my sister! <P><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

gem, yes I was that big there is no way you would have not known I was preg like cd said the more you have the more you pop out. Gem her goal is to torture you so I dont think she would tell your h that she is not preg. What did she look like when she was preg for her other kids? with love flowerseed