I am just in the mood to write, I must be on a roll, two in a row. I am writing because I read what Catnip wrote in response to anow.<P>I have a legitimate fear what is going on in society. And really in regards to what is going on with situations like ours. Where are these people coming from. I know in our situation, the ow comes from a broken home. And now she has had TWO children from men where there was no relationship. What is she teaching here children? I get sick when I got to the mall and see all the teenage moms with babies. Those are the kids that will be in school with my daughter. I am worried at how we raise our children with care and morals, and then they go to school with kids that have no morals. What do you think the percentage of ows teach their children that what they did is wrong, and that they should try to get married. I would assume pretty low.<P>After all like anOW, she thinks what she is doing is ok, nothing wrong. I truly wonder. And I am scared what this is going to do to my child. Oh, how I wish I could live in Leave it to Beaver times, when parents talked and lived morals. Yes, I am sure that there were problems. But I am sure that the number of memebers here would have been a lot less. I am scared what kind of world we are giving our kids. And I pray everyday that women like anOW, will tell that what they did was wrong and that their children will want the family, not the leftovers. <P>babstr.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by babstr:<BR>[B]Oh, how I wish I could live in Leave it to Beaver times, when parents talked and lived morals. Yes, I am sure that there were problems. B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yeah, there were problems, Babstr, but being a child growing up in those times, I remember how unwed pregnancies were regarded with shame and humiliation. The girls were ashamed themselves and whisked off for a few months to "visit their aunt", then they would come home and go back to school as if nothing had happened. But everyone would know, because of the whispers, and the girl's reputation was ruined forever and no decent boy would want to date her out in the open...<P>I was the ONLY child in my second grade who was the product of a divorced couple. The nuns would look at me with sympathy and click their tongues and say "Isn't this sad, what a shame".<P>Divorce, unwed pregnancy, (no one ever kept the child-they were all adopted), the shame of it all inspired girls to keep their virginity and character intact. No one just "lived" together without benefit of clergy. If they did, they were looked upon as sinners or trash. It's weird, but todays' society (anything goes!) mocks these morals causing our young (and old) to be indifferent to what it right and encourages them to do it if it feels good and to think only of themselves instead of others.<P>You're right to worry about your daughter's friends and influences. We sent our kids to Catholic schools for this reason and the difference is glaring between them and the kids at the public schools. For one thing, they were given an excellent education with the focus on learning instead of the "social" crap promoted in the public schools. <P>We live in the worst society since the fall of the Roman Empire; and we all know what happened to that. The only thing we can do is to keep close to God, pray for protection and guidance while He brings the rest of his sheep to their knees. The "wheat and tares" thing?<P>Catnip =^^=

Dear babstr,<BR>Have you considered home-schooling your daughter? I have a lot of friends that do with great success. their children have gone on to do well in college and most importantly have strong morals that were not compromised by peer groups.<BR>Catholic school and the like is great too, but I know I sure can't afford it. I am thinking about homeschooling my 8 year old next year. Helps that I am a teacher to begin with. One of the reasons that I don't right now is because I am too wrapped up in the ow/oc mess to really concentrate on other stuff, and homeschooling is a LOT of work.<BR>-cd

Babstr,<P>My H and I have a very good example to share with the kids(before we got into this situation) and we have talked with them about morals since they were a lot younger than they are now. We had a child 13 yrs ago, that we felt we were not mature enough to raise on our own. So, we gave her up for adoption to a family that desperately wanted a child. Our children have known that they have an older sister for as long as I can remember. In fact, while our D was in pre-school, she drew a picture of our family with a baby. When the teacher asked who each person represented, and came to the baby, my daughter said "That's my mommy's baby". Of course, the teacher then asked me if I was expecting, and I wasn't, but I explained to her that we had put a child up for adoption, and that the kids knew about it. The reason my D drew a baby is we only have a couple pics of her, and they are of a baby, not as she got older. We chose to talk to our children about their sister, so if, and when she comes to find us, our other children won't be surprised. But, it also gave us an opening to why they should wait to have sex until they are married. Our kids are 10 and 8, and we have been talking openly about it for the past 3 years. We have basically told them that we will not insist that they don't have sex, it is their decision, but that we hope they will come to us first, before they do anything about having sex. We have told them that we hope they don't have sex till they are married, but it is still their decision. We have told them the pain of giving a child up for adoption, and that there is so much more than that that can happen to them. Now, when the Maury show is on with the teen mothers, I ask them if they want to be like these people, and they both look at me with disgust in their eyes and tell me that these people are so stupid. Now, if it continues to work, I don't know, but it is the best we can do at this time. So far, I think we have done pretty good, instilling our beliefs in our children, taking them to church, and living what we believe. I know that it was easier for us, because we lived a situation that allowed us to have a true example, but maybe it will help someone else in talking with their children now instead of later, and finding out that they already found out from their friends about sex. The best policy, answer any and all questions they have, but only what they ask about. If they want more details, they will ask. <P>Just what our experience has been, hope it helps.<P>Tigger

Tigger, <BR>Talking about your kids reminded me of something my 5 yr old said. One day after coming home from her sister house my oldest is 24 has a one yr old. My little girl looks at me and says mommy I dont think I want any babies they are to much work. Now if a 5 year old is smart enough to figure this out what on earth are these 20 to 30 year olds thinking when they keep kids they have no means of supporting without sucking money from someone elses family. Just my thoughts at the moment. with love flowerseed

[. Now if a 5 year old is smart enough to figure this out what on earth are these 20 to 30 year olds thinking when they keep kids they have no means of supporting without sucking money from someone elses family. <BR> That is just it why should they worry about $, society has made it so easy for them. They are having all the babies they want because they know they can get the cash. The OW swore she would never involve my H but a couple of years went by and she was in court. Now she sucks close to 500.00 from him each month. Society has just made it easy for them, and $ just gets handed to them..AND I have one question what about birth control. Sorry to go on like this but sometimes these type of issues really bug me. Gabi<BR>

gabi,<BR>I was thinking as far as birth control maybe chasity belts should come back in style. With engravings on them to be worded as us betrayed spouse's choose. Something like I've got slutenious how was that spelled cd? With love flowerseed

Just ran across this. Must tell you, this is part of why I homeschool!! It's not for everyone but I'm so grateful we can. Would love to chat with anyone interested in THAT. Was talking with another homeschooling mom yesterday who told me just before she pulled her kids from public school here, she overheard 2 boys asking a girl for oral sex, and that school only goes up to 6th grade! Virgins are considered "fresh meat" and morals aren't an issue... scarey world in so many ways...

Jenny,<BR>My boss I worked for before I quit home schooled all his kids night and day diffrence. I think it is great that you are doing that for your kids. Keep up the good work. with love flowerseed

Jenny,<P>I do have a question about home schooling. My mom homeschooled my sisters. My one sister is prepping to take the ged. But my other sister who is at home is not motivated. So my mom is thinking of sending her to the private Christian school next year for 8th grade. I want to know how do you keep your children in a social contact. I mean I know that my sisters missed activities and opprotunities to to be in sports, etc. Let alone making new friends. I am just curious how you handle this. My parents decided to do home schooling because my sister who is 18 had a lot of problems, learning, and health. But now that she is done, that is why she is moving my sister on. My youngest sister says she just doesn't have any motivation to sit and do school by herself. She likes challenges, and to compete. She is very smart, is in piano, violin, and ballet. My parents feel that she can handle the social and educational aspects better now. Thanks to everyone for replying. My daughter will be three this August, so I have a couple years. But I will say every time I see another shooting at schools, I am thinking about home schooling. <P>babstr.

babstr, <P>i worry about bringing children into this messy world all the time. i think to myself that it is not a pretty place. the violence, the immorality, the glamorization of all that was once considered taboo, it is sickening. <P>where are the values? what happened to doing things the way they are supposed to be done? no one sees the harm in having children out of wedlock. people hardly flinch at the outrageous violence on t.v. i don't even think i want to own a television when we have kids. they have slowly knocked down the walls of morality. nothing is sacred anymore. it is sad. really sad.<P>i plan on sending our kids to a catholic school. it won't guarantee they are perfect, but will give them more of a chance away to learn morals. at home and school. so all that is taught at home isn't deprogrammed when they get to school.<P>happy_girl

Babstr,<P>Check out what your area has! Homeschooling used to be more unusual, but it is common enough now that most areas have at least one group, or you can use the group to meet a like-minded family or two, just to get together with on your own! <P>Our immediate area has 3 groups, one with over 100 families (I heard of one in Colorado with almost 500 families in one group! too big for me!). Our small group of about 8 families offers the kids a weekly language class, exercise class, chess club, monthly field trip, and monthly play day, plus we get together as individuals. Sports here are organized through the Boys and Girls Club, so anyone can play (my son is in karate, gymnastics, swimming and 2 sports!); but even school districts should allow homeschoolers to play sports, and some districts have cooperative programs with homeschoolers, like use of library/computers or special classes... Your local groups are usually the best source of information. There is actually so much available about types of homeschooling now that the choices can be really overwhelming! You have to figure out what style will work best for your familiy.<P>It sounds like your youngest sister is an outgoing type who thrives on interaction (me too!), but that doesn't have to be the end of homeschooling unless there just aren't any like-minded families in your mom's area (not that I'm knocking private school; that might be her best option). <P>I find the support group to be a necessity for my OWN sanity, opportunities to talk to another adult and get ideas. If you want to chat more, I'll briefly list my email.

Bringing this back to the top. babstr?<P>I seem to have a killing affect on posts...