I just have to ask - aren't you at all nervous/upset about your h being there alone with ow/oc. I would be such a wreck, pulling out my hair, biting off my fingernails, etc. I would not be able to take it. I DO trust my h, really i do. but ow? Not ever, not one little bit. If my h was alone with ow, I wouldn't put it past her to make up a story about them getting it on just to screw with my head. And of course, I wouldn't believe it, but I would wonder a little. Or a lot. yes I would be nuts. i would be so scared. what is your secret for being so calm and rational about the whole thing?<P>I really do want to know.<P>-cd

Hi cd, I have been out of it for a couple of days, too many things to get done. Anyway, the reason I am so calm is that I have no fear about this so called OW. The relations she had with my H took place close to six years ago, he was only with her twice. And she confirmed that fact with me. When I first found out about the OC I spoke to a few friends to get their story and then spoke to my husband all the stories matched. It was more or less a one night stand that happened twice and the two times were spread out over about two months. A few of our friends guys and girls all agreed that my H really wanted nothing to do with her after the second time saying it was a stupid mistake and he regretted it. That was when she began the blackmailing of him, because she found out she was pregant and did not want him to go through with our wedding. My H hates her, she tried to ruin his life many times. He has had very limited conversation with her over the last two years as we have fought to try and see the OC. All of the conversations have taken place in court. I truely believe he wants nothing from her, but a chance to get to know the OC. Up until the time she filed for support he had no idea were they lived or even their last name. When I first found out this whole mess, I would not let my H out of my sight. Over the last two years I have learned that how he says it happened is the truth and we have worked hard to get our lives and love back on track. I was nervous about the whole thing, my H going to the OC house, but more for how it would turn out in general. I trust my H now, as for the OW I do not believe a word she has ever said to me or to others all of her stories have been made to be lies by many. She used this child to try and continue a relationship with my husband that never really was, and many have confirmed that. Even girls that used to be good friends with her have told me, how foolish she has acted over the years, to the point that they have cut their strings and friendships with her. She was 19 when she was with my H and she is 24 now, I guess she thought that he would have developed a relationshop with her, after all she was having his baby, how naive of her. Another reason I did not worry was,the visit was only one hour a week for three weeks and then they are unsupervised. After all the crap she has pulled on my H over the years I know he is only spending these few hours around her for the OC sake. This past Tues. was the first time my H has ever met his son. Well I could write a book with all the things the mother of the OC has done and why I am not worried about my H and her now. I will save some stories for another time. GABI 1116

cd, I just realized I had a few questions for you. I have looked back to read some of your earlier posts and get a feel for you situation. You mentioned in this recent post that you too are getting close to were we are, What has been going on? Can you fill me in as to where you stand at present? All that my H and I have gone through is still really fresh in my head and maybe I could help. I remember that you were curious, let me know where you stand at present, maybe your experiences can help me out too. I hope all this mess will work out, some solid knowledge of what the future holds would help bring peace of mind,that could lead to closure. That has always been a problem for me all the unsure thoughtsof what will happen then and is going to happen at court and next week. ect ect ect I am tired of the questions and would really like to just get on with our lives. How is it going for you? GABI