To every one here who's going thru the same thing'<BR>when is it the right time to get medciation for depression<P>Last week it only took one mention of OW?OC to start a blow up between H and Me. It was good news about her(SHE IS GETTING MARRIED)i would have jump thru the roof but i had to find out thru a third party that H had told someone else this info and not me!!!!!!!!! This really hurt me and we haven't spoken to each other.<P>This week i have let paper work go by me undone ( I ahave deadlines) i have let the children go without good meals are help with homework. Last night i was sitting at the drive thru holding my order when the lady kept asking me can i do any thing else for u........ This whole situation is taking a toll on me i need a break or medication or something any recomendations?????

hurting37,<P>nothing is wrong with you. what you are going through and the way you are feeling are completely normal. i think that if you are thinking you need help for depression, then you need it. i think you need to go to your doctor and get on some antidepressants, but also get some sort of counseling too. i don't think that medication alone is the answer. tell your doctor what you are going through, and that you would like to be put on medication for depression. if you are wanting help, then definitely get it. hopefully some of those who have taken antidepressants will chime in soon. but know that what you are feeling is a normal reaction to all the stress that you are under. my prayers for you hurting37, that god will be your source of comfort and strength.<P>happy_girl

hurting,<BR>I dont know anything about the meds. I never took any. I did get drunk a few times but that made things worse. There have been lots of times I wish there was a magic pill to make this go away. I have did the same things you described. I agree with happy what you are feeling is normal. It sure would be nice if our h would quit thinking by not telling us things they are protecting our feelings. I think thats probly what your h thought he was doing. with love flowerseed

Dear Hurting:<P>Medication is a personal choice, like just about anything else we will do from this point on. <P>I chose not to do meds, not because I am some kind of masochist, but I believe if I feel the full force of the pain, I will recover quicker and healthier. But, that's just me, that's just my theory. Believe it or not, it works for me. Hurt like hell at the time, but I am really pretty good now.<P>My husband is on Zoloft and it takes six weeks to kick in before he felt a difference, so if you truly believe you need meds to get through this, then get them as soon as possible because it takes a while for them to do their magic.<P>I am two years and five months into discovery 1 (affair) and 2 (OC) and have been in a shaky recovery until October 2000. Since then, our recovery has been true.<P>It took us such a long time because of my husband's alcoholism, suicide tendencies and his diagnosis of Bipolar 1 disorder, and dealing with all the fallout from loosing our business, garnishments, filing bankruptcy, out of state court issues with OW and OC. It has been the worst three years of my life. I HATE the year 1998 so much, I can't even look at an old calendar or any reference to that year.<P>With all this trauma you have endured, the despondency you feel is so normal and expected, Hurting. Never apologize, never explain. You don't have to. I went through what you are going through, too.<P>I couldn't clean my house, make my bed, cook, do laundry, balance my checkbook, understand or comprehend anything I read or listened to, my concentration was shot and I cried constantly. My tears came down in sheets, not drops, and the profound grief you feel and I felt is very real. <P>Nothing seems real, though. It feels like a nightmare you can't wake up from. But, you will. In time; when your husband has reassured you enough, has shown you his deep regret and sadness at what this has cost the two of you, when he reassures you of his love for you, over and over again...when you feel you have been justly compensated through his actions, you will begin to heal, your memory will come back, you'll want to chase those duct bunnies that have collected and you'll want to start doing normal things to feel normal again. It will come...I promise...as long as your husband moves mountains to show you he has recommitted to you.<P>Don't give up, Hurting, if you want your marriage. Do what you need to do to get through these rough spot--even meds, if necessary. But, like Happy Girl has told you, you must have some counseling...meds won't do it alone.<P>Fight the good fight and stay strong. You will get through this. We are all here for you and you are in my prayers.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

Hurting,<BR>I agree w/everything that has been said. I am still considering antidepressants. For now I use an anti anxiety drug called tranxene. It dulls the heartache so I can function on bad days.<BR> <BR>Counseling works wonders. Anyone at your church may be able to help. Bless you.<BR> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Hurting,<P>I concur with everything that everyone has said here. If you truly feel like you need some help, then call today, and see if you can get in. It was really hard for me when this all hit. Because I was the glue that held the family together, everything falls on you. Just like you mentioned, the kids, the bills, etc. At times I just wanted to be able to go to bed and sleep for days. But most women don't get that opprotunity with a family and home to keep going. I totally understand. You are in my prayers.<P>babstr.<P>

Dear hurting,<BR>I chose to take prozac on and off because of this. i started prozac when the affair was going on, in conjunction with counseling. I also took it following two miscarriages I had between the births of my 2nd and 3rd sons, on advice of my doctor, because of the hormone fluctuations combined with the natural sadness of losing a baby. I took prozac again 2 years ago as we were about to begin visitation of the oc. now that we are going to restart visitation, I am considering taking it again to help me get throught he emotional turmoil. I know that it is important to stay calm and focused during the procedings.<P>With me, it's always been prozac because it works so quickly and effectively for me. Although they say it takes 2-4 weeks to get the full effect, I usually notice a big difference in energy and coping abilities after just a couple of days. the side effects I notice most are sleeplessness, and a dulling of emotions. I know that it is SUPPOSED to dull your emotions, but while the lows are definitely not as low, the highs are also not as high. And that is sometimes bothersome. For example, I don't teach classes as well when I am taking prozac. It seems to hinder my creativity and makes me a lot less responsive to the students' needs, and I go on "cruise control." But mostly, it is good for when I feel like I can't "rise above" my emotions to handle a situation with a clear mind. times like that I figure I am better off "cruising" than walking around an emotional wreck.<P>I can usually tell when I NEED medication to help with things when I start to become very unproductive and just spend my time doing nothing else but obsessing on the ow/oc situation. Then the medication seems to help me to put that stuff aside so that I can do what needs to be done.<P>Like Catnip said, though, there is always the risk that if you don't deal with your emotions right then and there, they will come back and bite you on the butt later. Sometimes it is better to deal with them right away so that you can heal faster. I guess it all depends on your emotional tolerance level. With me, I'd rather "pull the bandaid off slowly" than rip it off all at once. But that's just because I'm a big chicken. I guess I would rather have a little pain for a long time than a big pain for a short time.<P>anyway, that's the story of me taking prozac. I don't know if it will help you at all in making your decision. Hope you get things worked out ok. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.<BR>-cd

Thanks everyone for your words od wisdom.<BR>I don't post all the time but i come here daily for support and guidance.<P>Today was much better i was able to complete paper work that was long over due and go thru my daily routine with out problems today. I am reminded of the poem Footprints in the Sands, These days the Lord is carring me these hard time Thanks again