Well, since my conversation with H about oc/ow,nothing else has been said. His cell phone has been out of order for about 4 days so ow has to call our business to talk to him.She hasn't called yet.He could have called her ,but I don't know. He hasn't seen the baby either in a few weeks. He is too busy at work these days.But I know him .If he wanted to drive an hour and a half to see them he would make the time. It's like the situation doesn't exist half of the time. H thinks that if we ae "o.k" then it shouldn't bother me.The other day he asked what is wrong "NOW"? Now? Doesn'y he realize that NOW is irrelevant? That it is always present like a virus waiting to infect me.Maybe that's a bit melodramatic, but that's how it feels. Especially since we haven't come to a joint agreement about visitation or contact with ow.Things are good otherwise between us,but how good can it really get with this grat wall betweenus?

Dear Blue,<BR>I don't really have anything worthwhile to say, but I wanted to let you know that I read your post and am thinking about you and praying for you.<BR>-cd

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>H thinks that if we ae "o.k" then it shouldn't bother me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Ironic huh Blue? Mine pretty much feels same way. How do you deal w/him even talking to her? <P>I will pray for your strength to face this gracefully.<BR>I will pray your H sees the light.(from your point of view)<BR> Debi<BR> <P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

blue,<P>I don't have much advice. but i do know that you will continue to have a feeling of a wall between you with the unsettled business of the oc. it's a tough agreement to come to. even in compromise both parties will feel like they are loosing something. it's a really tough call and no one can make those decisions for you. <P>i guess the best thing you two can do is talk talk talk about what each of you wants, and somehow come to a joint agreement on this issue. once you two are comfortable and the uncertainty is gone you can begin concentrating on you two and your marriage.<P>And I can relate to you feeling like this is a virus. I personally take heed from our most senior members when they say the pain lessens and is less frequent over time. I'm just starting to see that now. It's not every day anymore, just every couple of weeks. i can't wait until it's just once every couple of months. I look forward to that.<P>best of luck,<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.