Hey, Everyone I have a good book its called YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise L. Hay. I read this book almots 2yrs ago when all this first started. I started reading again and am finding I am getting alot more out of it now that so many diffrent things came about after the first reading. Here is something out of it about forgiveness. <BR> <BR> All Disease Comes from a State on Unforgiveness<P>"whenever we are ill,we need to search our hearts to see who it is we need to forgive. <P>The course in Miracles says that "All disease comes from a state of unforgiveness," and that "Whenever we are ill, we need to look around and see who we need to forgive."<P>I would add to that concept that the very person you find it hardest to forgive is the one YOU NEED TO LET GO OF THE MOST.Forgiveness means giving up,letting go. It has nothing to do with condoning behavior. It's just letting the whole thing go.We do not have to know how to forgive. All we have to do is be willing to forgive. The universe will take care of the hows.<P>We understand our own pain so well. How hard it is for most of us to understand that THEY, whoever they are we need most to forgive,were also in pain. We need to understand that thet were doing the best they could with the understanding,awareness, and knowledge they had at that time.<P>When people come to me with a problem, I dont care what it is poor health,lack of money, unfulfilling relationships, or stifled creativity there is only one thing I ever work on, and that is loving the self.<P>I find that when we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works. Its as if little miracles are everywhere. Our health improves,we attract more money, our relationships become much more fulfilling, and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways. All this seems to happen without even trying."<P>This was chapter on forgiveness if you can find this book its a good one to read. with love flowerseed

flowerseed,<P>i had this very epiphany this weekend. to forgive and let it go. i don't know if all those beautiful rewards you described will come my way.... i can only hope.<P>such inspirational thoughts. i hope everyone can take a little from them.<P><P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>We need to understand that thet were doing the best they could with the understanding,awareness, and knowledge they had at that time.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>The best they COULD???? In case of H and ow surely you jest! How in the heck could either one of them be doing their best with the awareness, etc. they had? In that case I think the book is full of psychiatric bull.<P>The above comment was not intened as a flame toward poster and only the opinion of the writer, not the opinion of staff and management of MB.COM <P> Debi<BR><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

gem, I kinda cridged at that to I guess its all in how ya look at it. The book is about loving yourself not really to do with cheating. I think any of this kinda stuff ya have to take what ya can get out of it and leave the rest. with love flowerseed

thanks for that flowerseed. i kind of can see in a way how that line that bothered gem makes a little sense. we all tend to rationalize things in a way that makes it easier to accept something. my H for example, could rationalize his behaviour at the time "boinking" (loved that word gem) the OW because we were having problems and were not having sex for several months before the affair. i was withholding it. so in his own twisted mind at the time, he was doing what he could rationalize in his head to be okay. it was just occasional sex, he wasn't hurting me, or whatever. so at the time he was boinking OW, he was not thinking like he normally would. if that makes any sense. <P>of course, i could just be rationalizing why his rationalizing was okay, so i can forgive, etc. <P>anyway, i know i have to work on complete forgiveness and just need to let go of those bad thoughts i think about the OW. i have put it all on her. actually, it is just easier because i have forgiven my H and he has asked for it, proved his remorse etc. she has never called to apologize, or even ask H how i am. so i can keep her in my head as a monster. <P>i am rambling. thanks flowerseed for those words.<P>happy_girl