I just got back - it all took longer than I expected because h went to see our lawyer afterwards.<P>First of all, I got a HUGE chunk of my h's pay assigned to me in child support. close to 50%, if not more - I'll have to do the math when I'm not so wiped out. BUT, I had to fight for every bit of it. Not because my h argued against it - that would have been really stupid, considering the purpose of the whole thing - but because the cs worker kept trying to talk me into settling for a "more reasonable" amount so that h and I would have a better shot at reconciliation. He kept saying, "You know, you're spreading your h pretty thin here financially, especially since he already has another claim against him. Can't you give him a break? I'll bet it would make things a lot easier if you really want to get back together someday." And then, he wanted to deduct the ow's cs from the amount that my husband brought home. i said, "NO WAY, that's not state law. I spoke to a lawyer and he said MY case would have precedence." Finally, my h told him that he planned to have the other order modified. So in the end he didn't subtract it from my h's income. Then he said, "I'm guessing the other child is a result of a one-time fling. That usually means that there were problems in the marriage to begin with. You two should really try to work things out without holding that against him." You have no idea how aggravated I was! Then he acted like I was being a real witch by insisting that I get everything I am entitled to. He wanted me to forego collecting spousal support and h's share of the child care expenses. he said, "can't you work something out so that you dont have to pay somebody to babysit your kids while you teach classes. And then I only ended up with 54.00 per month in spousal support. Yep, that's what it is worth to be a wife. $54.00 a month. At least I cleaned up in straight child support.<P>so now my h goes to the county where the ow's cs claim was filed and petitions for modification. He is going on Monday, and the change will be retroactive from that day. So, when her claim is reduced, what ever he has paid until then over that amount will be credited to him. Either that or she will have to pay him back. ha ha ha ha.<P>One other bit of news: When my h went to talk to lawyer, he was on the phone with ow's lawyer. They have backed out of the conference on the 19th because they say that no matter what they will NOT agree to ANYTHING, so we're going to skip right to mediation. mediation takes place with some doctor in charge. That's all I know about it right now. so I don't know yet how this will affect our timeline or anything else for that matter.<P>Gem, nobodysgirl, I read your posts and really want to respond to both of you, but I am just emotionally drained. Please forgive me. I will come back and respond once I have settled down a bit. I just can't think straight right now and I wouldn't be helpful right now anyway. But please know that I'm thinking about you and that I care.<P>-cd<BR>

cd, I just dropped in, and read your post> I am really glad that things worked out well with the child support, at least you can now see some relief in the future financially, once your H puts in for a modificatin in the county of the OW. As far as the meeting on the 19th, it does not surprise me that the ow has called it off... This happened to us a few times. Actually I feel you may be better off, just going to mediation with the doctor or whom ever they are assigning to conduct it. We only got satisfaction with a person trained in psy and holding a MSW.no one could not get the OW to ever agree to anything. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise as the meeting on the 19th may have been useless anyway and only causing you unneeded grief.will get better results with a trained professional in the social and mental health fields. The only downside is the waiting and the date being pushed back, this did happen to us a few times. Stay strong and patient, thoughts for your happiness, GABI1116

CD, I knew it. I could smell VICTORY in the air. Slapping it to her. YEAH. <P>CD, can you hear the crowd cheering for you. I hope you can, because all the spouses here are screaming at the top of their lungs, "Way to go!"<P>{{{{{{{{ CD }}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Wow.<P>Your victory is our victory, cd, and I know all of us feel a little more satisfied knowing one of our own has succeeded in working the system to your family's advantage, as it should be anyway. Something wonderful should happen for you since the system forced you to go to these ridiculous lengths to garner some indirect justice for yourself and preserve your financial well being for yourself, your husband and your children.<P>I couldn't be more thrilled, cd.<P>Tears of joy<P>Catnip =^^=<P>PS I understand that the worker pyssed you off but that's what these 'social' workers live for...they love sticking their noses into our private business and thinking they have the right to give their opinions on how you should live. Just another thing to ignore. <p>[This message has been edited by catnip (edited March 09, 2001).]

CD, I'm sorry the social worker gave you a hard time but it's still a victory for your family today!!<BR>Between your news and Zebra's, I'm Really smilin' today! <P>Best wishes,<BR>J

Yippppeeeeeeeeeeeee! Me and my little boy are here doing a little jig! That is what I am talking about!!! Congratulations momasita

Congratulations cd! That is terrific news. I'm so happy for all of you....<BR> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

a victory! i am so happy for you. and don't worry yourself over the social worker. they are trained to do that. i am happy for you!<P>happy_girl

Great news, CD!!!! I just got back from my Dr appointment, and thought I'd check in to see what's up! I am so happy that you have worked it out with you getting the higher percentage. Also, that you "stuck to your guns" with the social worker. Keep us informed about your mediation, so we can keep that in prayer as well. Good job!!<P>Love,<P>Tigger

Cd,<BR>Ya hoo I had faith in you all along I knew you would do just fine. Gees does this feel good one more star in the sky for all of us. I bet your glad thats over with. with love flowerseed

Thanks, everybody!<BR>I won't feel like it is really a vistory until ow's cs is actually reduced. Keep praying about that part of it, will you?<P>Something sort of funny happened last night. I decided to tell one of my good friends about ow/oc for the first time. I told her the whole entire story and asked her if she would put us on her prayer chain at her church. The funny part is: She didn't believe a word I said! She thought that I was "pulling her leg" because she has been talking so much about the Jesse Jackson story lately. she said that she didn't know why I would make up such a detailed, elaborate story. she said that from knowing me and h for almost 2 years, and from knowing how happy we are and how perfect we are together, she just could not believe a word I was saying. I said, "No really, I need you to pray for us about this." she kept laughing and saying, 'oh come on - I wasn't born yesterday." I had to swear on a bible that it was true. it was very strange.<BR> <BR>But anyway, thanks for your support during the first step of this. I'll keep you informed as to what happens.<BR>cd

Dear CD,<P>I just wanted to add my sincere congratulations to the long list. You and your H must be very special to have your friend refuse to believe your story! Praying that you keep that special bond forever,<BR>- heavenly

BTW, regarding the crummy child support official: He was not a social worker at all - he was a divorce lawyer who works part time for domestic relations. The thing that made me so mad was that with me, he kept asking if I could 'give my h a break' so he wouldn't be 'spread so thin'. that's all fine and dandy, but do you think that when ow filed they ever asked her to cut him a break? Now way! In fact they kept trying to pressure my h into giving her more than the required amount, saying 'but you have to understand how hard it is to raise a child..." And they tried to make him feel like a real jerk when he refused to 'throw in a little extra'.<P>I know that it was a different case worker entirely, but the difference in treatment really gets my goat. It is apparantly perfectly OK for the other woman to slam my h for as much as she can get, but for his wife to take money from him? Oh the sin of it all. makes me sick, this society we live in.<P>And I am still irked that the only difference between married and not married is 54 bucks. Ugh!<BR>-cd

Dear heavenly,<BR>oh, I am so glad to see you back!<P>Thanks. I think my h and I have something pretty special going to. But it was funny. That's the first time I ever had to swear on a bible in order to get on a prayer chain!<P>cd

Hahahaha...That is hilarious. <P>Catnip =^^=

Ha Ha Funny story CD! I finally told one of my friends the other day about all of this. She quit smoking about a year ago and she smoked 3 cigarrettes that night. I think I stressd her out a bit, but at least she believed me! Thats cute, and kinda sweet.<BR>Anyway, sooooooooooo glad to hear about the first step in your victory! Sorry I am late telling ya, but I an trying to keep up...lol.<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>BW

CD,<P> Good for you!! It's nice to see someone stand up, hold fast, and come out on top!!<P> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Gregg!!! You're back! Where have you been hiding out, Stranger?<P>Catnip =^^=

Hey Cat,<P><BR> I've been trying to get a life!!<P> I have to come back from time to time, because I miss you guys. I'm sorry to see so many new people having to come here, at least they're in the right place.<P><BR> I hope things are going well for the "Veterans" of this site. I know you'll take good care of the newbies.<P> God bless you all,<P><P>------------------<BR>Gregg