Well, I was quite surprised when we got a phone call from MIL this morning. My H had to be at work for 24 hr duty today, and she didn't know that. She was actually calling to talk to him. When I told her he wouldn't be home till tomorrow morning, she said that she would just talk to me about the conversation H had with his father last night. I was so tempted to just hang up, but something told me not to. Anyway, she told me that she has already told my H's brothers the whole situation! I was very irrate, but kept my cool. It was actually a good thing that she called today, because I was still upset about what had been done, and upset about everything from the past 15 yrs. One thing led to another, and it all came out. Again, I kept my cool, and didn't yell, or say anything that shouldn't have been said. I basically told her that I have never felt any kind of love from her, and that I have never been forgiven for not only this child, but giving her first granddaughter up for adoption. We talked for a long time, with both of us crying by the end. She told me that she not only has forgiven me for the baby 13 years ago, but is already considering this baby as her grandbaby! She had brought up the fact that I haven't responded to her emails, and I told her that I had written responses, but decided not to send them, as I was upset when writing them, and said things that didn't need to be said. Things that I was saying out of anger and hurt. She understood, and has apologized for how things have been between us. We ended that part of the phone conversation with her praying for us, and starting over for our MIL/DIL relationship. We talked a little more about other things, and hung up after saying that we loved eachother. I actually felt that she meant it this time, and was not just saying it out of obligation. I just hope and pray that this is a new beginning, and that she really did mean everything that she said. I did talk to my H and told him of the conversation, and also told him that what is done is done with his brothers and other members of his family. We will deal with that if and when it ever comes to that. He was actually surprised at how calm I was about the whole thing, considering how I was last night. All I can say is that God works in so many ways, and this would never have been possible without His hand in it. I know that what I felt was God telling me to hear my MIL out, and let her know, honestly, how I have felt about our relationship.<P>Just wanted to let you all know what happened. Thank you all so much for the support I received in this situation.<P>Tigger

Tigger,<P>You are truly blessed and have witnessed God's hand, as you said. From the sound of things this will definitely be a new beginning for you and your MIL. Perhaps she has not known how to communicate with you and by you speaking to her, with feeling but without anger, that allowed her to open up and express what she is feeling.<P>My H has tried to speak with my MIL on the issue of how she treats me and our kids but he came up against a brick wall of denial and refusal to accept the possibility of change. I was so sad that she was not willing to even look at ways to change our relationship. <P>That is why I am particularly happy for you. Although in-laws are removed from your immediate family, I believe that grandparents are a very important part of a child's life. At least now you can have confidence that she accepts the baby as her grandchild. It seems that everything is coming together for you. May God continue to bless you.<P>- heavenly

Tigger I agree w/Heavenly. It is God working through you two and the understanding you came to.<P>What a woman to remain in control! I'm proud of you!<P>Now get some rest...you have some important work to do.<P> Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Tigger:<P>God surely blessed you and your MIL. Your ability to keep your composure and open the door is divine providence indeed. I am so impressed with how you handled yourself.<P>I know you were not ready to release this informaiton to the family, but like you say, what is done is done. She may have inadvertantly provided a service for you by doing this for you so you do not have to, relieving you of the anxiety and burden. I know it was important to you that you handled it your way, but perhaps it was God's will... It probably all played out the way it was supposed to, Tigger. I am so happy for you.<P>Let the healing begin.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

tigger,<BR>Oh I am so happy for you!<BR>-cd

Tigger, that is really great. I am very happy for you . I have a terrible relationship with my mil and think it is so nice that the two of you have talked and are working things out. I have tried to explain to my MIL about the issues we have and to try and work things out but she does not respond to my e-mail. She continues to e-mail my son who is only 6 and I have to help him answer her back. My problems with her go back a couple of years, they have to do with her on again off again lack of interset in my children> But this story is for another time, I am concentrating on my H and myself and my children. We will have many isssues to deal with in the next month or two as the Oc enters our lives. My mother in Law is on the other side of the country< I have tried many times and it does not seem to work. MAybe I will try again in the furture. Anyway I am very happy for you. Gabi1116