I just went out and got the mail My h just received a copy of the court order that is transferring the case to our county and a copy of the petition for modification. It gives the reason for the request as "Party in question now has another cs claim in effect in ***** county, making for a considerable change in his circumstances." It says at the bottom that copies of both were mailed to ow. I am just betting that ow will be so confused when she gets them. She won't know what to think. I'll bet she'll be asking herself if I filed for child support - and if so, why? Will that change h's mind in some way about visitation/custody of oc? Will he be more or less adamant about pursuing it? Perhaps he has ANOTHER out-of-wedlock child that oc will have to compete with for money? And then she will wonder WHY we have been so quiet lately, why we didn't phone to ask why she cancelled the hearing, why we haven't sent any cards or gifts recently. What does it all mean? how is this going to affect everything for her? What if her money is cut because of this? How will she handle h having visitation if she isn't even getting the "blood money" to make it worthwhile? I'll bet there are all sorts of questions and wild ideas flying through her head right about now.<P>She just has to be confused and out of sorts right now. i am soooooo enjoying the thought of it.<P>When somebody is that used to running the whole game, I'll bet it is hard to take when a curve ball is thrown in.<P>hahahaha!<BR>-cd

<BR>CD,<P>She will be panicked. And frankly, given her stated intention of trying to dupe your H into being susceptible to an abandonment charge, I really think you should force the custody issue to the fullest extent possible. The ONE card you have custody; this means she must live with the terror of a premature death and custody automatically reverting to your H. It also means she has to worry that the child will someday love you more than her (wouldn't that be the deepest slap possible?). Even a comment made in tantrum like, "Mommy, I have more fun at CD's house than I do here!" would just rip the OW's guts out.<P>Bystander

CD ang Bystander, It is funny that you should mention the points in your last post, Bystander. I have said these exact things to myself and my h about the oc. I would love for the oc to have so much fun with us and tell his mommy. Better yet, when my husband was a preteen and his parents were not together, he asked his father if he could move in with him . My h told his parents he would rather be with Dad. There is always this possibility in the future and then who would be the one paying cs. HAHAHAHA I was in court for our case and I heard two cases where the mom was ordered to pay cs because the child had decided to move in with Dad. Just a thought I wanted to share. Gabi 1116<p>[This message has been edited by gabi1116 (edited March 14, 2001).]

Bystander,<BR>My lawyer has finally pulled his head out of his butt and is back to being the super-agressive legal fiend that I know and love. he is of exactly the same mind that you are. I just made arrangements with his secretary to meet with him on saturday to discuss the case. i guess we will talk about tactics and things like that. Secretary mentioned that Saturday is our lawyer's birthday. I asked if perhaps another day would be better then. she said, no, nothing will give him greater pleasure on that day than planning our "attack". We are going to be extremely aggresive now.<P>Now that lawyer sees how good my "filing for cs for myself and kids" plan is going to be, he says that he just regrets he hadn't suggested it to us earlier. I'll bet we have changed his whole perspective on how to handle these kind of cases. It would be nice to know that others like us might have an easier time with this. At least maybe his future clients will.<P>Ow has said that if oc ever calls me "mommy" she will kill herself. That's how scared she is of oc growing to love me.<BR>Unfortunately for her, I get along with children really well. At the home for troubled children, they called me the Pied Piper because the children always wanted to be in my classes. i was super strict and didn't put up with crap, but I was so much fun and made class so interesting that they didn't even mind following the rules. They'd do anything I asked just to be included in our projects. lots of the most dysfunctional and disturbed children -kids that never got along with any authority figure in their whole lives -asked their caseworkers very seriously if I could adopt them. of course, the home had a policy that employees couldn't even be foster parents to the residents there - afraid they would lose money if everybody started taking the kids home, I guess.<P>Poor old ow doesn't even realize that she started a battle she can't possibly hope to win.<P>And all cockiness aside, you are probably right with what you said in an earlier post. Once I get to know and love oc, I don't think I will ever be able to agree to ow having some guy adopt her. I had great reservations about it when we agreed to that last time, and that was after only a couple of visits. Once we get to know oc, I'm sure she will be a big part of our lives.<P>ow shoulda let that big ol' sleeping dog lie. Now it is gonna bite her in the a$$.<P>-cd

c.d.,<BR>Good for you if I have to I am also going to do what you have done as far as child support so far so good. I will bet when she sees her $$$ will be gone your phone will be ringing. he he he I wish I could listen. I think we have another year before I have to deal with her coming after us again. I'll be ready it feels good to have a plan. I think its going to get real interesting for you guys. I just want you to know you have made my day a whole lot brighter. with love flowerseed

cd:<P>The satisfaction I feel for you is tremendous. I am hoping this is a trend of luck that we will all share in for our particular situations!<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=