I don't know all the abbreviations, so forgive me. I have seriously jeopardized what I now know is the most precious thing in my life -- my relationship with my wife.

Without boring you with too many details, I have had two affairs in the past 10-11 years, the most recent started a little more than a year ago. My wife is perhaps the world's most understanding and committed person and wanted the most from our marriage upon discovery of the affairs. We started the MB program, bought the books and did the exercises but I never wrote the letter as I didn't think it necessary at the time. However, I was still emotionally torn and slowly allowed contact to resume with the other woman.

We went to Plan B and have been there for two weeks -- but it seems like years. Plan B has been helpful in that it openly exposed my contact with the other woman and offered up a reality gut check -- a life without any contact with my wife. I have read the books thoroughly but knowledge is one thing, action another. It's time to take action.

My questions -- how long should Plan B last and what's the best approach of getting out of it? I realize that every situation is different, but is two weeks too short for the seperation? Advice from those who experienced similiar situations to mine will be greatly appreciated.
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Living in a cave, but finally seeing day light!

No need to respond as I have found answers to my questions reading information, articles and posts on this site. It's an incredible resource and has proved very helpful. I am grateful for everyone sharing their experiences, knowledge and advice. Hindsight is 20/20, but I only wish I had found this more than a year ago.

Glad you found yours answer.

I'm curious as to what you found. It seems to me that plan B should last until either the WS (wayward spouse) commits to no contact, sends out the NC letter, and agrees to rebuild the marriage. This of course having to be a real commitment. If the WS does no do this then Plan B ends with the divorce. Is this what you found?

Norweb:

Thanks. That's exactly what I found -- a better understanding of Plan B and its intent and the actions necessary for the WS to move forward toward recovery. Thanks for your post. This has been an increasingly painful experience for me, especially this past week. But this site has proved very valuable, to the point of being inspirational.

I hope we can all be of help to you. I know that this is a very hard time for you.

You may want to try posting in the "General Questions" forum as that is where most people with your issues hang out. It's a good group.

<small>[ June 05, 2003, 01:19 AM: Message edited by: Eleonora ]</small>