My h is going out of town for 5 days next week for a conference.He is trying to break into a new field and this conference is related to that. Our regular business is quite busy now and we are moving to a new location.He is going alone and says he doesn't want anyone with him.For as long as I have known him,14 years, he has like to travel alone. A cultural thing I think.But this time he is flying into a neighboring city and driving to the conference location,saying that he couldn't get the direct flight that he wanted. I think it is very odd for him to be going at this time of the year, the beginning of our busy season. I feel like I am going crazy. Help!

Is this really unusual for him or is this just the first time to deal with this again? Take a deep breath and try to stay calm.<BR>Do you think someone else is involved?<BR>bw

Dear Blue,<P>I would find a calm and quiet moment to talk to him. I would tell him that with all that is happening, I do not feel comfortable with him taking the trip. If the conference is not essential, ask him not to go. If it is something essential then I would tell him that, under usual circumstances I know he travels alone, but this is not a usual circumstance, so I would like to go with him. <P>Getting away would also do you some good to help you clear your mind and it would give you an opportunity to spend some quality time together outside of the situation.<P>Even if you can't do all five days, maybe you could go for two or three days and then return early.<P>It's worth a try.<P>love<BR>- heavenly

Well.I am sitting here numb.My H left yesterday morning.He hasn't called me yet. He also informed me Sunday night that there was a rumor floating around that he was meeting the ow out of town.Come to find out ,she had a trip planned the week before last to the samr area and cancelled last week. My h said that he was going alone and also said how easy it would be for me to check if she is intown or not. But he still hasn't called yet. He was going to find a hotel when he got there,not unusual for him,but I am feeling sick.I live on antidepressants to keep myself from bottoming out. He tried to be so sweet and reassuring before he left but that only raised more suspicions to me. He wouldn't normally tell me of a rumor floating around.I don't know whether he was trying to be open with me or cover his [censored]. I haven't felt this way in such a long time. I don't know what to do.

Blue,<BR>Is there anyway you can go to where he is.I would be paying a little suprise visit. I dont think anyway possible that I would be able to just sit back and wonder, what at this point do you have to lose. I used to check up on my h all the time. I dont get it either why he would tell you that about ow. I wish I could be more help but your h has me bewildered most of the time in the way he thinks. with love flowerseed

Dear blue,<BR>If it was me and I had no way to get there to check things out personally, I would at least be calling the front desk of whatever hotel he is in. I would ask for Mrs. (substitute your h's last name here). I read somewhere that 9 times out of ten, when people meet at an hotel for an affair, they register as a married couple. I'd ask them to page her because of a family emergency, and see if the ow comes to the phone, or if they tell you that Mr. Whatever (your h) doesn't have his wife with him. I don't think I could just sit around waiting.<BR>cdcollins

c.d.<BR>Good idea! I sure wish you would have been around when I was driving myself nuts with all the checking up. You have such wonderful sneaky little ideas. Hey we gonnta do what we gotta do to get where we can trust again. I did waste a lot of time doing this and was ashamed when I seen h was really up to what he said he was. with love flowerseed

My husband got a hotel when he got there. He is famous for doing that. If I had that info I would have aleady done that. I called the expo he went to and they said he registered at the door this morning. Still no call.