The level people stoop to always amazes me. We have an employee who recently quit because WE DENIED HER REQUEST FOR A RAISE.s HE HAS BEEN WITH US FOR 4 YEARS and knows Everything about our private situation.She knows ow and has seen oc quite a few times. Anyway, her husband,who has been the quietest, nicest person since I've known him, called me yesterday on the verge of a freakin' breakdown. He was screaming at me saying that my h fired his wife after 4 years and what comes around goes around.he also said that the ow was with my h this past weekend ,out of town.Which is fine because h got home on Friday.He says my h is always f@#$%^g around on me .And that I should be ashamed of my self for not calling his wife and apologizing for her termination.She quit. I was so rattled ,first at his complete turn around.And second that someone could be so cruel. My H was angry with him and said that he would call ow right there in front of me and prove that they weren't together.He also tried to call the exemployee's h while I was there, but he didn't answer.<P>I am afraid of what might come out of this.I believe my h about this past week when he was out of town,but I don't have the fortitude right now to withstand any more of this crap.Ifeel drained and so does my h. How can someone who knows what I've been through turn around and rub salt in the wound?I am not like this and I can't understand people like this.I confided in these people. I thought they were my friends.We had holidays together and birthdays. I went as far as blocking there number from my phone last night in fear he might reach one of my boys. I am just sick about this.

Dear Blue00,<P>How Awful! Some people use your pain as ammunition<BR>agaisnt you and that's very low-handed. Really it<BR>must seem as if sh*t just gets worse sometimes.<BR>You are trying to hold it together. I read your post <BR>about your boys saying grace...My heart goes out to you.<P>I dont know what to say about these people...but obviously<BR>money screws people up when they THINK they deserve it.<BR>I'm sorry that they are so callous as to use your heartbreak<BR>to further their "cause". It is just plain MEAN.<P>I hope and pray things improve for you. Take Care.

Blue:<P>There are a lot of second raters in the world, Blue. People who like to kick a sick dog when they are down. They know of your vulnerable soft underbelly right now and that often invites the sharks to attack.<P>I have often been shocked and stunned at being attacked unprovoked and have stood staring like a guppy with my eyes round with incredulousness and my mouth hanging open in disbeleif. The unprovoked attacks are usually from people I felt safe with, who I thought were my friends, that simply resented me, were jealous of me or who knew too much about me and decided to beat me when I was down for whatever reason. I have never been able to ascertain why people would deliberately hurt another human being when they knew a person was down for the count. Never got it, never will.<P>But, I know first hand they exist and I can commisserate with you on this one.<P>If I were you, I would write them a letter stating that secretary did not get fired, but quit her job and request that before they shoot off their mouths and embarrass themselves again with misinformation and inaccuracies, to check their data carefully before they launch into an attack. You could mention that a calm discussion would have been far more productive and would have prevented hard feelings. I would also mention that in light of the terrible things that have happened lately, that now is the time for compassion and understanding rather than attacks and adding to the burdens.<P>I had a secretary who was with me throughout the affair, discovery and knew waaaaay too much about my private business but then, she was there in the midst of it all...the crying in the office, the fights, the OW phone calls, the coldness from my husband toward me, the humiliations...all of it. Somehow, this gave her a feeling of importance and false superiority and I think she felt entitled to a huge raise because when we were beginning our recovery and were trying to save our business, she insisted on a raise and threatened to quit, knowing we needed her. <P>She knew our finances were a disaster, she was stealing from us and gossiping about us, resented us and all the while pretending to be my friend and then would sneak around and invite my husband to join her and her husband privately for drinks, telling him "Don't you tell Katie!"<P>Blue, people like these are the same kind of people that slow down on freeways rubbernecking to get a look at the fatality along the side of the road. As always, I maintain, only about 10 percent of the population is worth your time, so chalk these losers up to experience but write that final letter revealing the truth of the matter. Case closed. Be glad she is gone.<P>Catnip =^^=

Catnip,<P> Your storyis just likeours. I too feel as if she gained some grandiose feeling. Like she was the all-knowing untouchablbe one. She thought that anything she requested would be granted.But my h had enough. My h told me that she was always jealous of me and deeply resented me ,for whatever reasons, but I am too trusting. I can't understrand pure maliciousness. Prentending to be y friend was the cruelist of it all. Anyway it was her husband that called me with his meltdown.He knows the facts,but is obviously ignoring them. I just don't need this on top of everything else.Enough is enough!

Blueoo, your post saddens me so.So sorry you have to deal with this all, on top of everything elsemistake. I am greatful you are all here.Thanks.<p>[This message has been edited by lsb (edited June 20, 2001).]

Blue,<BR>I agree totally with Catnip. I also think so many people like to meddle in other people's misery because they are too weak to deal with their own. Screw them...they don't add value to your life so throw them in the garbage where they belong. I am glad you got rid of her! Write the letter and case closed period. You have more important things to think about....<P>God bless.

Blue, talk about putting salt in the wound. This is a supreme example.<BR>As the saying goes...with friends like that who needs enemies?<BR>Fire her as*! How dare they prey on you and your H?<BR>Take it easy Blue. My prayers are with you.<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

The h of the ex-employee called my h this morning ,screaming and crying about how my h fired his wife. What? She quit!! My H said that he would meet up with him someday.He seems like he is freaking out on pcp or something. I t still makes me sick to think what could come out.Info that I really don't want to know at this point. I am losing trust in all mankind. No one is really what they seem.

Hello everyone.Do you think I should send the ex employee an e-mail or call her about her husband's crazy behavior and accusations? I really want to call and my h gave the go ahead also,but I don't want to get into name calling and such. I just want to know why it is going on.

blue,<BR>I would but thats me. Wait and see what everyone else thinks. I wouldnt let it get into name calling I would just ask her what is going on. So sorry this is happening to you.<BR> with love flowerseed

Dear blue,<BR>I don't think I would call, but I would write a letter along these lines (see below). I would keep a copy of the letter because it reiterates that she QUIT, and so that you have a record that you did indeed inform her that the harrassing telephone calls should not continue.<P>Dear (ex-employee's name),<P>I am writing in regards to the events of the past few days. First, I feel compelled to remind you that you quit voluntarily after we denied your request for a raise. As the owners of the business, it was well within our rights to refuse your request, just as it was within your rights to terminate your employment with us. However, your husband's behavior towards us since then has been intolerable. The name-calling and personal attacks are unacceptable, and the phone calls have bordered on harrassment. We are sorry that our long and productive association with you has ended on such a sour note, but we will not participate in any more unproductive conversations. If you have any legitimate questions or concerns regarding your former job, I will be happy to accomodate you in any way I can, within reason. However, if the harrassment continues, we will be forced to curtail it via legal means. <P>Sincerely,<BR>blue