Please help!!!

I really need some advice. My husband is working out of town in another state during the week. He told me this past Sunday he contacted his x-wife and is going to meet with her for dinner alone. The thing is, they both are in the same state right now when I'm here in Michigan. I don't like it one bit.
We've been married over a year now and I'm 3 months pregnant. He has a child from a previous relationship (not from this x-wife he is about to meet) and I have a child from a previous relationship. I just have a hard time being able to trust the situation when I'm not there. His x-wife is single and living in the same city and state he is working in right now. He only goes to this city during the week and then comes home to me on the weekends. He doesn't understand where I'm coming from and why I don't think it's a good idea to have dinner with her. He thinks I don't trust him, well the fact of the matter is she is single and I don't know anything about her and I'm worried. I don't believe in just calling up an x-wife/x-husband and meeting them out of the blue just to talk and see how they are doing. Their divorce was an awful one, she's the one that divorced and left him to move to this state she is in now. Here it is 5 years later and he now wants to see her. I'm having a really hard time with this, any advice and help would really be appreciated. I'm really hurt that he still wants to go through with this even though I'm totally against this.

Hi HM,

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Wow, I don't blame you. I wouldn't want that either. They don't even have a child together or anything. So what's the need to have lunch and talk? Does he stay there in that city over night?

He just came out and told you he was doing that with her? It's not like he asked you how you felt about it. It's really not fair to you.

I think you need to look more into it. Does he have a cell phone or phone you can get numbers too?
I'm feeling you need to investigate the situation too.
Do you talk to him regularly on the phone?

Oh my, I understand your worry. There is something definitely wrong with that.

I will be praying for you!!! One thing about God is that He will reveal things to you that you need to know.

Sent with Love, -Ladysheep

Well, I finally got him to compromise a little and I'm going to go with him to meet her for brunch this Saturday, even though I don't want to go at all. I think this is so unfair and I'm still in shock that this is going on. They have no children between them at all. Here we are supposed to spend this romantic weekend away from home and now in between it all I'm meeting her.
I decided I'm going to ask her a lot of questions about their marriage, I don't care if it makes him feel uncomfortable or not. He put me in this situation and I want him to feel a little uncomfortable too.
I just wish in the bible there was some verse that said you shouldn't put yourself in a tempting situation and if your wife is totally against something, to not do it. It's like that joint policy of agreement thing that is on here.
When we went to church last Sunday, the pastor even talked about leaving your past behind you and look ahead, because your not going to have a closer walk with God if you keep dwelling on things in the past. Well I was hoping he would turn this around and think about it in his situation about meeting his ex-wife and change his mind, but he hasn't changed his mind.
Anyone that could offer me some biblical advice as to how to talk him out of this before Saturday comes would really be appreciated. My stomach is in knots and I've been praying about this and I just don't know what to do.

Well either way you are on shaky ground. Yeah, there is the chance that something could be re-kindled between them, but there is also the chance that you are making something out of nothing. I would've liked to talk to my 1st wife from time to time, but that was a no-no with my 2nd. Something I regret now because I wish I would've stayed in touch. I'm sure he still has feelings for her and misses her, but that is a long way from wanting to be with her. Try to let him express his feelings about this to you as a friend instead of wife.

In my opinion all this stuff about leaving the past behind and moving on is wishful thinking. It just doesn't work that way.

Try talking calmly about this, but firmly and with conviction. Explain what it feels like to you. I would illustrate it as what if he was in your shoes? Say you wished to go see your old husband and just as friends...

And the Bible does talk about cleaving to your spouse. And protecting your spouse from harm. To maintain relations with old flames is hurtful and if you read here, potentially dangerous. We should use discretion and care when we deal with each other. We need to show our spouse we are trust worthy by doing the things that help not hurt our feelings. Our wish is to work together and make a safe and stable family with plenty of love on the inside.

Sharing friends is important. When we are married sometimes we need to and naturally do, shed a couple of friends, realizing that they are not conducive to good living and marriage and family life. Choose friends with similar interests and values. Family is so important. Doing things that hurt a spouse is not good foundation. Read the Bible and make friends that have good wholesome values. Steer clear of the opposite. Be wise. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Thank you for the helpful advice people have posted on here, I appreciate it. However, I'm still not feeling a good about all of this.
It seems my feelings for my husband have changed since he's been in contact with his x-wife. I'm leaving on an hour or so and driving out there to be with him for the weekend. However, I'm afraid that I just don't think I can be romantic with him anymore without thinking, is he wishing I was her. I feel really torn apart right now about all of this. I tried to get him to change his mind yesterday about this whole thing, but still no change of heart. So, here I am stuck going away for a weekend, which I thought was going to a nice romantic get away and now tomorrow I have to go with him to meet his x-wife for lunch. I just really resent him for putting me through all of this. Here I am 4 months pregnant and I thought happily married to a Christian Man and he does this. I want to go to Christian counseling and refuses to go with me, because he doesn't think there is anything wrong with our marriage. When I do, since when he is miles apart from me he is thinking of another woman instead of his wife. I made him promise me yesterday that he wouldn't have any contact with her again after this weekend and he said he would agree to it. Well part of me thinks what if he is just saying that now, to make me go through with this.
I've tried turning this around to him and telling him what if this was me, but of course he said he wouldn't mind me seeing my x-husband, because he trusts me. I don't think this is a trust issue, I do trust him, it's just I don't trust her and I don't think a Christian Married Man or any married man should put themself in a situation like this one, it could be very damaging.
Here I thought this weekend was going to be so wonderful being out of town and all. Now I just wish I didn't even have to go, because I feel like it is such a waste of time and money.
I'm so deeply hurt by him from all of this and he doesn't even see it nor care. He just thinks I'm trying to control him, which isn't the case at all. Just the other day, I was regretting that I got pregnant because of all of this, I don't want this beautiful life to be born to parents that are unsure about their marriage.
Right now, I've been reading "For Better or for Best", how to understand your Husband, it's by: Gary Smiley. It's a really good book, however it's not really helping me out with this situation I'm going through, it is helping me understand my husband in different ways though.
There's a book that goes with this book which is for husbands to read "If he only knew" by: Gary Smiley and I highly recommend wives to get it for their husbands, it's not that long of a book either. However, my husband hasn't made the time to read the book yet, I wish he would because then he might change his mind about this lunch thing tomorrow.

Well, once again thanks for the posts... however, I'm still feeling unloved and unwanted right now, by my husband and it's been so hard to try keep my emotions in tact.

I just hope no one ever has to go through something like this, I would never wish this on any woman.
God Bless Everyone here....
Please pray for me and my marriage especially about this weekend.
Thank you!

FYI-
My husband divorced his wife for infidelity. He married again, briefly. He would talk to ex some. He ended up in bed with ex and wanting a relationship. He got his heart broke again.
Later, I met him and eventually married him. He tried the" There is nothing wrong with having coffee with ex" thing. I did not fall for it. I forbid it-PERIOD. He was married to me and I was not going to be married to a man talking with another woman-even his ex.
He now thanks me and realizes the dangers of that behavior.
Married men have dinner with their wives, not their ex wives or any other woman-unless they are looking for something.
There is a reason that your husband wants to see her and your questions are legitamate.Why does he want to see her anyways????
If I were you(which I am not-but you came here for other's advice and experiences)I would forbid it (if he listens to you and cares about your feelings) If he is IN the marriage he will put his wife's feelings first. Thats marriage-you forsake all others as far as the opposite sex is concerned.
Do what you feel best-use your intuition here. YOU are his wife. He is playing with fire.