Last night, we were flipping throught the channels and stumbled upone "The Job" with Denis Leary. Last night's show: Denis Leary is a guy who goes back and forth between his wife and his girlfriend. When people ask him why he isn't living with his wife, he says, "there are things she doesn't like about me. for example, she doesn't like my girlfriend" Meanwhile, he is obsessed with a lady at his office who has just started to date a guy she met. Leary finds out that the guy is married, so he goes to coworker's apartment to tell her that. She says, Oh I know. Then next day, says that she just has sex with the mm because "it felt good to be touched" and says she will continue to do so because she "needs romance in her life." leary completely understands and tells her she is a good person. Told her she needed to keep doing it if it made her life as a single mom more bearable. She thanks him and admits that she is really in love with a certain person who is really a "good guy" but is just a little screwed up. Of course she means leary. Implies that she is just fooling around with the other mm until leary dumps his wife and other girlfriend. What the hell is this garbage doing on tv? It made me physically sick.<P>Anyway, I went to see my grandmother yesterday. Only one small part of her heart is still living, but she looked ok and felt good enough to complain about the hospital food. The doctor's don't think she can live much longer - BUT they said the same thing 10 years ago. AND at that time, 10 years ago, she actually grew a new artery. Doctors say that is very rare, but it sometimes happens. So who knows how it will turn out. I feel better that I got to go see her. I was all torn up when it first happened because I hadn't called her in a while - primarily because I have been stressed out over the ow/oc crap. It is all still touch-and-go right now, but at least she is still fighting the good fight. Gram is not one to "go gently into that good night."<P>My 3 year old's wrist is doing well. he must have absolutely no nerve endings because he is acting as if it doesn't bother him at all and hasn't even wanted tylenol for it.<P>We somehow managed to scrape together the 150 dollar mediation fee right before the deadline and sent it in, so we should be getting a mediation date really soon. Man, are we ever broke though! havne't been this hard up for money since the "salad days" of early marriage.<P>Sorry i haven't gotten the letter to state reps finished - will work on it as soon as I get a spare minute.<P>I have just been officially approved to provide babysitting services for foster children. I am babysitting tonight for friends of mine who have foster kids. This will be helpful in our custody case, I think, because children and youth services have given me the offical stamp of approval. OW will have a hard time saying that she doesn't want her daughter around me now.<P>That's where I am at. I'll try to catch up with everybody's individual posts when I have more time. Thanks for your prayers and support. Looks like the prayers really helped.<BR>with love,<BR>cd

Wow, cd...thanks so much for the newsy post. I love posts like that giving us such an intimate peek into your life...not to be nosy, but to create a more personal bond with between all of us. Being truly interested in everyone here and their lives, this is a special post where you are giving so much of yourself to all of us.<P>I know what you mean about feeling a little guilty because you feel maybe a tad neglectful of Gram at such a tempetuous time in your life, and in hers, but everything is playing out the way it should, I guess. When I dropped out of sight to lick my wounds, I was completely neglectful of everyone. I didn't want anyone to know of my pain and humiliation, so I just holed up in the house and didn't return phone calls or answer the door for months. A lot of people felt neglected, some were even angry...but, since then, I have made the necessary amends and have offered explanations and all is well. I also intensely resented my husband for a while for creating all this turmoil and heartbreak and taking up all my time with this drama when I should have gone to Florida to be with Mom, spent more time with my son, been with Grandpa more before he died, etc.<P>This kind of intense life altering crap takes it's toll and shakes us to our core. It is a long time before we feel good enough again and are able to reach out to be any good for the other people in our lives we love, but, as we heal we are better able to become more involved again. I am so glad you have been able to be with your Gram and let her know how much you love her. I've always said, as long as they are complaining, they are doing pretty well.<P>Your son is making a remarkable recovery, n'est pas? Kids are amazingly resilient and heal wonderfully. <P>I am thrilled for your latest coup. It must be so satisfying to receive the stamp of approval to care for foster children from your state. And to satisfy two objectives is the frosting on the cake!<P>I am glad I did not see the Denis Leary movie. I see stuff like that and I see red. I had a friend during the 1970's who was an oxymoron/paradox during the age of "love the one you're with" era. Everyone was doing everyone back then. No rules, it was disgusting. My friend was watching Dr. Zhivago with me and a bunch of friends on TV one night and became incensed when Omar Sharif was 'doing' Lara, abandoning his wife and blurted out "What about your wife?!? You creep!" Everyone turned and looked at Jan as if she had rocks in her head because after all, hey! This was OK! This was Dr. Zhivago, after all! They even made a song, a tribute to their affair and called it "Lara's Theme"...it HAD to be OK, right? Ever since that day, Jan has been my best friend. She has always maintained infidelity was just plain wrong, wrong, wrong. Gotta love her.<P>Anyway, enough blah, blah...gonna get a perm in a half an hour. Last time I got one I ended up looking like a dandelion gone to seed. My hair is long and very straight and refuses to hold a curl and just hangs there so every six months I go in and have them damage my hair just enough to get some curl and body in it. I always look ravashing for about three weeks then I take on the dandelion look for the next five months... (sigh)<P>Got my office packed, the renters have been accepted and are moving in May 1, the roofer is hired and paid his 50% down to put on a new roof and all my many, many details are being taken care of one by one. Pretty soon all I will have to do is focus on tormenting the OW in court...ahhhh, bliss. <P>Back to the woods.<P>Catnip =^^=<P>

c.d.,<BR>Movies like that make me sick also. Glad you got to go see your granny. My son cut his arm at the elbow area but on the inside they had to do some special nerve surgery but at the time he was not move the arm for like six weeks. Which is about impossible with a boy so the surgery did no good he has a little numbness but he is fine. Did they think it damaged nerves? Kids do heal amazingly fast. <P>Oh catnip how funny dandelion gone to seed my hair does that to. I got a perm only once and that was enough for me it was down to my butt had to have it cut off clear to my ears. If I want it curly I have to do it up in rags and walk around looking like I tried to make a mop out of my head. with <BR> with love flowerseed

It isn't even a movie. It is a WEEKLY tv series. that crap will be on week after week, "helping" people to become desensitized to the the evils of infidelity. And it is being critically acclaimed as the "funniest, edgiest" tv show in years. As I would have said back in high school, "It was so funny I forgot to laugh." <P>Catnip, <BR>youre lucky - my best friend from high school doesn't really believe in marriage, therefore, sees nothing wrong with the occasional affair. she is currently in law school and we have had a lot of 'discussions' about the legal aspects of our situation. She's one of those who thinks that ow is well within her rights to want outrageous cs, so you can see how it has put a strain on our relationship. I don't know - sometimes it is good to argue out our opposing viewpoints. My friend is very logical and consistant on her points, and discussing this stuff with her helps me to "sharpen" my wits somewhat. On the other hand, sometimes I feel like hitting her because I feel like she is "taking the other side". Prior to going to law school, she worked in a safe house for abused women and has A LOT of sympathy for women who have affairs with married men, so she's going to be one of those lawyers out there battling for the ow. she admits as much to me. Then there's me, who is going to go out someday and battle against the ow. it's like we will just null each other out. sometimes it seems odd that we still talk because we are so completely different. i am a christian, she is a die-hard atheist. She is all for women's rights regarding pregnancy - I am for men's ability to choose. I spank my children (when they do life-threatening stuff like stick tweezers in the light socket), she thinks any physical discipline of any kind is abusive. I feel that ow should have to provide for oc on their own. She feels that if the wife chooses to stay with the husband that cheated, they also become responsible for paying for the oc. I feel that the two-parent family unit is all-important, she feels that single parent homes are just as good. We are totally polar opposites in just about everything. It's like I am cd, and she is the anti-cd. Sometimes I don't know why we are friends, except that maybe we are both believing that we should "hold the enemy close". Very strange. It's like I like her and hate her all at the same time.<P>Anyway, thanks for saying you enjoyed my post. i was a bit afraid everyone would read it and say, "who the heck cares about that stuff."<P>-cd

Ha Ha the anti-cd! That was a good one. I guess opinions are like *******s.....everyone has one and some just plain stink!<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

CD,<P>Hey, we are all family, and we all care for eachother's problems, be they with the OC/OW or other personal things, like grandparents health, or childrens accidents! Even our pets rate a post or two I am glad that you got to see Gram, and that she is doing so well. You should never feel as if we don't want to hear about other personal problems. I've posted a couple prayer requests here that had nothing to do with our situation, but just family problems, and even stated in those posts that I felt more comfortable posting them here than on the prayer requests board. Like Catnip said, it brings us closer together. Please post those type of posts as often as you can. <P>Love,<P>Tigger

cd:<P>So your best friend is the anti-cd, eh? Hahahaha-funny. I bet you get a lot out of the relationship in honing your mental/verbal skills. Flaming Liberals are so much fun. Their point of view is certainly the other side of the coin even if it goes against the grain. <P>I have another friend, Marcia, who's core beliefs are in direct opposition to mine, however, she often acknowledges and even acquiesces in some of my arguments. She is warm and funny and not at all abrasive so I just simply respect her point of view and disagree-often. She truly believes her politics and social dogma and because she is true to herself, it makes no difference to me.<P>Sometimes it is fun to banter and have meaty, heated discussions. We even got to the point of calling time out on the disagreement, throwing a tape or cd on the player and dancing to Motown when we start to get too heavy just to lighten things up. <P>Catnip =^^=

Hi cd<P>So glad to hear your son is healing well. Im continually<BR>amazed at how quickly kids recover. And he didnt even need<BR>tylenol! Yesterday my D fell halfway down our stairs.<BR>We have gates everywhere but in the rush of trying to get<BR>everyone out the door to my s recital, she made it up the<BR>stairs before my h could get to her. Shes got a bump on<BR>her head but is otherwise fine. <BR>I know its a relief to sit with your gram. She has one<BR>strong will doesnt she! Its funny you said she was<BR>complaining about the food. Sounds like my dad!<BR>I'll keep you and Gram in my prayers. I know what you<BR>mean about feeling bad for not keeping closer contact<BR>with those you love. <BR>Take care and still hope we can meet around I80. <BR>I think our kids are close in age. I have 2 boys, 1 girl.<P>Oh yeah as for the crap on tv. Cant even watch daytime<BR>tv theres so much bad influence (soap operas, trash talk<BR>shows). My tv is always on PBS anyway! At night H and I<BR>literally pass out before we settle on what to watch.<BR>See Ya.

Just wanted to say really quickly: Just heard that my gram felt well enough last night to give one of the nurses "the finger" when she wasn't looking. I think she may be on the road to recovery. Gritty old bird, she is.

c.d.,<BR>Your granny sounds like a real fighter. I would say she will up and about real soon. Ya gotta just love em grannys flipping the bird! he he he with love flowerseed

Dear flowerseed,<BR>I sure hope she is up and around real soon <P>I guess she wanted a pepsi and the nurse told her no, then when the nurses back was turned, grammy flipped her off. She said, "how do you like that? Here I am on my death bed and I can't even get a pepsi" haha!<BR>cd

My little boys cut has apparantly become infected. He has been very lethargic and not feeling good all day. A couple of hours ago I noticed that his arm was starting to swell and the laceration was turning red and angry-looking. Spiked a fever and began vomiting suddenly. H is with him at doctors right now. I am home with other boys waiting to see how they make out. Continued prayers would be so appreciated. Thanks, cd

c.d.,<BR>Let us know as soon as you can whats going on. They probley will put him on antibotics. I would try soaking it in epson salts and putting NEOSPORIN on it that stuff seems to heal anything. prayers coming your way with love flowerseed

Sorry to hear about your little one's arm.<BR>I'll keep all of you in my prayers!!!<BR>