OMG I am freaking out. I came straight here after checking my email. My H i sgone to pick up food and I went tocheck my email and ow emailed me. Mind you it has been a year since she we have had anything to do with her. She dropped her damn cs case and moved. What the hell does she want. All it said was "I want to talk to H". Period. That was it! What do I do?????

broken_wings,<P>not sure exactly what to tell you, but here is what i think. i think you should wait till your husband gets home to tell him that she emailed you and see what he wants to do. i think it should be something you decide together. then decide what to tell her. it sounds like she wants something. can't imagine what it is. sorry that she came up out of no where after she had decided to do the best thing and stay out of your lives. stay calm, i will say a prayer for you to be calm. <P>happy_girl

i agree. stay calm. talk with H. discuss senario's of what she could possibly want and how you as a couple will respond to it. whether it be the OC is sick, or needs something, or she just plain wants $. Together the two of you need to stand as a united front on whatever she throws your way. Oh and by the way.... make it clear that she's talking to you two as a couple not just H.<P>And last but not least... if she throws you a curve ball and it wasn't something you expected or discussed, agree to have H say, I would like some time to toss this around with my wife, we'll get back to you. Remember to never, ever discuss anything between you two in front of her. Trust me, I learned the hard way.<P>I hope this helps. Best of luck and I'm sorry she's jumped back into your lives.<P>I'll be thinking about you.<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Broken wings, I agree with both Happy girl, and Zebra Baby. Stay calm and stay as a united team in the eyes of the ow. See what it is that she wants before you get in a panic, maybe it is something simple like some family medical history. I am hoping that is it nothing serious, and have you in my prayers. Peace, Gabi1116 Oh , by the way it is really great to see both of your lovely, ladies, Zebra baby and Happy girl, back on the forum and posting.

Hi...I was really paniced earlier and to be honest I still feel as if I am having an anxiety attack. Ow emailed me not H. She has absolutely no way to contact H. I told him about it when he got home and brought up the fact that our number is still listed. He told me to change our # tomorrow and make it private. We didnt really discuss what to do about emailing her back. All he said was that he was not talking to her. Fine by me...but do we need to respond to her? She walked out of our lives...should she be allowed to walk back in at her will? What should we do? We have elected to do nothing tonight..but then what? Do we owe it to the child? Should I confront her and ask her what she wants? I feel so lost. I do not want to run from this person...but I do not want to deal with her either.<BR>Any advice would be welcomed greatly...I do not know which way to turn. I feel like we were building our lives back up and here she comes to try to tear down the walls again.<BR>bw

broken_wings,<P>the only reason that i think you should respond to her is to be prepared for whatever it is she might be conjuring up. i don't remember if you guys pay child support or not, but if you don't, she may have decided she wants it. and i think it would be best to be prepared for that blow if it happens.<P>i agree with changing your phone number, and think you should write an email back to her, from you and husband asking her what it is she needs/wants. that you are a team and he won't be speaking to her in private. that simple. if she wants to talk, she can do it by email. <P>try to stay calm. it usually helps me to simply repeat something over and over, like "lord give me peace". it is kind of hypnotic and relaxing. my prayers for you that you can stay calm. <P>happy_girl

Thank you happy_girl...I am trying to stay calm.<P>We do not pay child support. We were paying her and she had contact with us at the time. She said some psychotic and mean things to me and my H changed our # (this was a little over a yr ago). She got pissed and sued for child support, with No visitation. We got a lawyer and filed for joint custody. She freaked out over that and droped her own case for child support. I later tried to send some stuff to oc and it came back to me. I emailed her and she told me she had moved and did not want us to have her address. I said more power to ya and thought that was the end of it. Just a little background.....<BR>bw

Broken_Wings maybe she wants cs again. I'd just wait for a letter from her attorney. I'd never e-mail her back.<P>Can you change your e-mail address? I wouldn't want my ow to e-mail me.....ugh.....<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Dear brokenwings,<P>Oh, im so sorry to hear she has tried to make contact again.<BR>I completely understand your fears and unease.<BR>I will pray that it works out for you and H.<P>You know i live with the fear of op coming out from <BR>under her rock, too.<P>Like you did before, stand together.<BR>If she wanted to open cs case wouldnt she have gone thru<BR>the system? But who knows how these people think.<BR>I'll keep you in my prayers! Take care, fluke

Youcan always block her e-mail address from your account. I would not get into e-mailing back and forth. THe ow in our case has e-mailed me some pretty wicked stuff. It conjures up too much bad stuff. Whatever you decide do it as a team with your husband.

Dear brokenwings,<P>Almost one year after communication had ceased with ow (due to our agreement with her that we would drop visitation, she would drop cs, all that stuff) ow called my mother's house to ask for our phone number. We had moved, and though our number was listed, she didn't know what town we were in. She told my mom that oc was having some kind of seizures and needed to be examined by a brain specialist, and that she really needed to have h's family medical history. Although h had a bad feeling about the whole thing, we couldn't just not call back. So, I called ow, and after she told me the same story, h got on the phone and answered questions about his family' health and so forth. A couple of months later we got rehit with the cs case. Turns out that ow just wanted to get an update on our situation to make filing for cs easier. I don't know why anyone would lie and say that their child was ill,, but that is what she did.<P>I would be willing to bet that ow is after something. If it was me, I would want to know what. I would suggest that you:<BR>1. Change your number so that you don't have to worry about unexpected harrassment.<BR>2. email her back requesting her telephone number. Explain to her that all communication will be through you, and that you will call her once you have the number.<BR>3. Be very wary of what information you give out.<P>I totally sympathize with you right now because I have been right where you are now. I really pray that ow doesn't have some kind of ulterior motive, that whatever her reasons are for contacting you, they are on the up-and-up.<P>with love,<BR>cd

Broken wings, this is my worst fear too. I have not heard from Ow since 2 months when she emailed me after I sent her a message telling her to leave us alone and only contact me if she needed anything.She emailed me twice, and the last time she actually apologized for if I was mad at her-yeah, right, I am not! And then said something about OC shouldn't be denied contact with her father and half siblings. I hated the email, did not respond, and she actually sent the message again asking me to see if I got message and replied. I just wrote back, got it, did not want to reply because I wanted no further communication with her. HOpe she does not harass you, I would change phone number and email if I have to if she bugs us.

Hey, BW, I would be cautious but I would email her back and ask what she wants. Like mentioned by someone else earlier, make statement that all communications will be thru you. You might get a PO box in another town so she can write to you. I'd definitly get an unlisted number. In meantime you might want to talk to a lawyer. One thought, is she also in TX? If not and you anticipate a lawsuit, ask lawyer if you can initiate a lawsuit. As I recall you have nothing legal yet, maybe if you start something now, in TX, esp if she is out of state; will cost her more becauese she will have to find a lawyer in TX, travel there for court etc. Maybe if faced with these realities she might back off. Might also see how TX deals with these situations and get something done anyway, just to keep the legalities where it is easier to deal with them.<BR>Just an idea, don't know if it will fly, but worth a try.<BR>If we ever want to pursue anything or are pursued, we have to deal with NC from TX. I hate this whole situation. and can't wait until the OC is 18. Of course my son will be 18 before she is and that I do not anticipatethat, then I loose my baby. At 7, he is the light of my life, my best buddy. I feel my other children were blessings, but he kept me sane because I learned of OW while pg with him, and OC after he was born. without him and his love and needs I would have lost it. <BR>I always feel so solomn and grim when I get on here and I am really not. I substitute teach these days, want to get my certificate in Sp Ed. I tell the kids they make me laugh when I go into the classroom and they pull the tricks all kids want to play on Subs. I tell them I look in the mirror everyday, I know that I wasn't born yesterday. They make me feel good when I see them around town and they stop and talk to me and tell me what's going on with them. They introduce me to their parents and say they wish I was their fulltime teacher. I laugh and tell them they would like me if they had me everyday. <BR> Well, have to go. Don't any of ya'll let this get you down, you are better than this and we will all survive.<BR>I refuse to let the OW win, I am a very poor loser. <BR>Luck to you all, TG

Everybody,<P>Thank you for your understanding and support. I appreciate all your warmth and prayers. We really need them right now.<BR>We changed our number yesterday and it is now unlisted. It was kinds funny bc the phone co wanted to kno wwhy I was changing it and I told them we used to have kinda a stalker situation and our my h was supposed to unlist our # to begin with. I told them we had been getting a lot of out of area calls that were hangups (which is true...we havent been answering out of area calls lately bc he was avoiding his mother). I told the guy I had a bad feeling that this person had searched us down or were about to bc I got an email from them. He was real cool and dropped the 41$ charge for changing the # and put that we were being harrassed. Ha! I thought that was great.<P>TxGirl, <P>That is not a bad idea, as long as she has not already filed again. Actually that would be great, but honestly if that isnt what she has in mind then I do not want to do anything that is going to put her back in our lives. But I will definately talk to my H about that one. Thanks for the advice.<P>Love<P>bw