I am sitting here seathing with rage. Every month around the 17th day of my cycle, I start feaking out. During the rest of the month ,I can contain myself with my Paxil. I have awful thoughts about what I would like to do to my h and the ow. Wringing their necks, and basically beating the s@#$ out of them. And then the reality hits me. I am furious with myself for putting up with this. Every time I heae about my H talking to ow , I could scream He is never the one to tell me. It is always throughtthe grapevine.My MIL told me that he said that the ow called him Saturday and said the baby was sick and she was going to bring her to the doctor. Fine, but tell me. He never tells me anything about that situation. She is so smug. Saturday night my h, mil and fil, went to my children's school play.Well I was outside and heard his cell phone ringing in his truck. Guess who it was ,calling at 7:30 at night? i TURNED HIS PHONE OFF QUICK AND THEN TURNED IT BACK ON SO IT WOULD DICONNECT HER. Why do I continue with this?

Blue,<P>Why are you being left out in the dark? He should not be talking to her without you present if at all. Does he not realize what it does to you? I would definately look again at Harley's Policy of Joint Agreement. Ask him to do the same.<P>I do not blame you for being so angry...but why is he going behind your back? You do not deserve th extra pain of that.<P>Talk to him. Good luck and I will be praying for you. Let us know how it goes.<P>Love and Prayers<BR>bw

blue,<P>i don't blame you either for how you are feeling. i would feel the same way if my husband kept me in the dark about things like that, especially when others, like your MIL know all about it. that makes it look like they are against you or something. how sad that your MIL is immature and insensitive enough to play this game. <P>i think you and husband really need to decide upon and adhere to a POJA. it is extremely important for him to understand why this is so important to your marriage, and your healing, and sense of security and well being. talk to him. if he can't respect you enough to follow a POJA, then he doesn't deserve you. sorry to be so blunt, but it is sad to see how his blatant disregard for your feelings hurts you. <P>take care, and don't blame this on you. it is your husbands and MIL's disregard for your feelings that are responsible for the feelings you are having. my prayers for you.<P>happy_girl