I should have included this in my last post but I forgot.<P>I have a problem that is rather embarrassing. Whenever we talk in depth about ow/oc and whenever I take the time to really THINK about the situation, two things happen: First, I get the shakes. Not just the jitters. I am talking about full muscle spastic shakes. The kind where your teeth chatter and all of that. it is really uncontrollable. When I am here at home, I take very deep slow breaths to counteract it, and smoking cigarettes seems to help, but i am not sure what to do when we come face to face with her again. last time, I had the benefit of Prozac, which reduced the shakes to a point where it just looked like my hands were trembling a little, like maybe I had too much caffiene that day. With no medical insurance, I definitely can't afford Prozac right now. I know that this is some kind of anxiety thing, but what can I do so that I am not shaking all over the place in front of ow? Sounds very freaky, doesn't it? it makes me feel like a freak that I don't have better control over my body than that.<P>The second thing - and here's the really embarassing part - along with the shakes, I get an uncontrollable urge to use the bathroom. not to the point where I am wetting myself, but enough that I have to keep jumping up and going to use the facilities. Last time we were at the lawyers office, I had to use the restroom three times during the hour long meeting. I made the excuse that I had drank too much coffee that morning, but still...It is like my urinary tract goes into hyperdrive when I get nervous. Doesn't happen when I am nervous about anything else - just ow stuff. Anyway, I am not sure what to do to prepare for mediation/visitation short of not drinking anything the day before, and I don't see how I could reasonably do that.<P>Anybody else have this kind of thing? or anybody have suggestions?<P>i should mention that I have ALWAYS reacted this way. Even when I am feeling very calm and at peace about it, I get shaky.<P>i certainly don't want to fall too peices physically in front of ow or anybody else. What do you all think?<P>cd

Iget the shakes just like you. My grandmother also gets them. It's almost uncontrollable. Idon't get the nervous peeing thing though. Ihave been on Paxil for 9 months now . It might helpbut I am not sure.

c.d.,<BR>I know what your talking about I did the same thing when ow called and hung up on me. It took me 8 trys to redial the no. I was shaking so bad. When she told me she wanted to know if h wanted to see his son I think I about melted like the wicked witch of oz. I went and bought 2 bottles of wine and gulped them down just to get control. The strange thing is I dont drink anymore and it barely affected me. When I seen her at the hospital for the dna test it wasnt as bad. I dont really know what to tell you other then the deep breaths that your already doing and telling yourself to calm down. Just wanted you to know I do the same thing and it sure is a rotten feeling. I dont think 2 bottles of wine and a pair of depends would problely look to sweet. with love flowerseed

I hate the fact that I always end up crying as a reaction to everything that is upsetting. I can never control this. I have experienced some trembling in certain situations so I usually talk to myself and silently pray before and during any situation that might cause me to do this. A constant dialogue in my head to myself and God really seems to help me control things. I even recently was able to control falling apart in tears by doing this in a very stressful situation.<P>Take care of yourself and worrying about shaking/trembling in a situation probably compounds the problem.<P>Carrie

CD,<P>I have a similar prob and if ow had not emialed me I might have forgotten about it. I get the shakes, but where my teeth chatter, but I wouldnt compare it to muscle spasms.<BR>And oh! does my stomach start hurting...uhhh! When it was real bad buspar did the trick for me. I really like it bc it didnt totally drug me up. It just alleviated the anxiety. But I do not have anymore buspar, so I have had to rely on more conventional methods. I find that taking slow breaths (and Tums) and reminding my self that I am in control of the situation, not ow. I have to talk myself down from the anxiety attack. I have to remind myself that h is with me and my famiy. I have control of my life and I will no longer allow her to hurt me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Best of luck , cd and if you find anything else that does the trick ...let us know. OH! I forgot the most important one! Pray! That helps more than all the others.<P>Love and Prayers<BR>bw

Hi cd,<P>I get the shakes and sick to my stomach whenever we<BR>talk about oc situation, or if I think TOO much for TOO<BR>long...for me it fades when I get distracted by something<BR>the kids are doing. More than not it deeply affects my<BR>day. I know what you mean about the depth of the shakes,<BR>my teeth chatter and my legs go a mile a minute.<P>I'll bet you one thing - most of these ow are freaking<BR>out about us, too. They did not get want they<BR>wanted, only the by-product of a mistake.<P>All I can say to control the shakes (besides over self-<BR>medication!) is to remember what you are doing and why<BR>you are doing it. It's amazing how we could be literally<BR>falling apart on the inside and appear calm and reserved<BR>on the outside, if you keep detached from the emotion of<BR>the situation.<P>If not Depends, than how about those pretty Poise pads?!<P>Seriously, good luck with the mediation!!!

In addition to sera-fem, I have tranxene. It's anti-anxiety.<BR>It works well.<P>My son is on effexor anti-depressant and xanax anti-anxiety.<P>We both are doing fairly well on those things.<P>I don't drink now either unless I go out on Friday or something.<P>Hope I helped.<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

WHEW>>>>xanax kicked my butt!!!!!!!<P>I was put on that in college bc I couldnt sleep. Well it worked for about 2 weeks and then i always felt soooooo drugged up! I know it works well for some, but for me it was way too potent. Then I fould out instead of throwing the rest away, I could have made some money off them. stupid me. lol