that lawyer will not be accompanying us to the mediation hearing. Attourneys aren't allowed to in that county. Oh boy. Not only that, but he doesn't think I will be allowed to go in either. Says that he doesn't know that for sure - it all depends on what the mediator decides.<P>I am very upset about this. first, because I feel funny about what could happen without lawyer there. Second, because h is very frantic about the idea of doing any of this without me. Third, because it isn't in keeping with our policy of "Do everything as a team."<P>I am trying to decide how best to handle this. Should I go along for moral support or should I stay at home and wait?<P>I am pulling my hair out. Will most likely be bald before all this is over, haha!<BR>cdcollins

I'm new here, but I think I may help.<BR>I accompanied H to court regarding cs. It was the most difficult day of my life. It was the first time seeing the OP. But I thought she needed to see that I was a real person. I also thought my H needed the support.<BR>We had a lawyer with us. It wasn't much help. She was not as deligent or as strong as she should have been. I don't know what the mediation is about but if it's regarding OC and support. Keep these things in mind.<BR>medical - if H is providing it have how the payments will be made and the percentages for each clearly stated <BR>child care - if ow is asking for $$ for chld care, stipulate that the fee should be filed on the taxes under the nanny tax. Otherwise it's free money for her. Question the amount if there are other children. <BR>name - if H does not want his surname used, again have it clearly stated<BR>if H is not going to be the custodial parent but is paying cs, look into how he can claim the child on taxes. Remember cs is taken from gross so he will pay taxes on this money and not see it.<P>In otherwords, everything that you can think of have clearly spelled out on the order. <BR>I hope I have helped. <BR>Through my pain and our lawyer's inefficiency this is what I have had to learn.<BR>

CD,<P>I do believe that there have been a few others who have posted that they weren't able to be involved in the mediation, but were right outside the door for the whole thing. As for your attorney not being there, just be sure that you both know what you need to before you go to the mediation. I think that if your OW sees the both of you together, whether it is in the room or just outside the door, you are showing her that you are working through this TOGETHER!!! Remind me, do you have a date for the mediation yet? I feel like I am out of the loop right now, since I have a hard time coming on line and reading everyone's posts. Please let me know, so I can be praying for you that day.<P>Love,<P>Tigger

CD,<P>I would definaltely go along and maybe see if you could takl to the mediator beforehand and explain the situation. Maybe they will allow you in. It is worth a try anyways.<P><BR>My H had his mediation over the phone since they were in different states. All they do is see if they can come to an agreement. They do not have to agree on anything. As a matter of fact ow and my H didnt agree on ANYTHING. So it was a big waste of time.<P>Good Luck and sending prayers your way<P>bw

CD,<P>I think it's critical that you present a united front. If he's there, then you, too, should be there. You may or may not be able to go in to the actual mediation session, but your presence should be known. Be sure that you and H have gone over your plan of action. The intent of the mediation is to hammer out the "details" prior to the hearing, and to have both parents come to mutually acceptable terms in order to facilitate the parenting. Whatever happens, make sure H doesn't agree to or refuse anything in the mediation. He can voice his satisfaction or dissatisfaction with the terms presented, but he should let the mediator know that whatever strides are made, he will run it by his attorney and YOU before giving a final commitment.<BR>