Ladies,<BR>They have taken enough of our time. We all agreed these are some nasty, superficial, ignorant women. Let us just ignore them and get to the topic at hand - helping each other through this mess in hopes of rebuilding MARRIAGES.<P>Lets concentrate on good 'ole Lynton coming back on the scene, beautiful abbi, happy girl's positive post and comfort's rebuilding. LSB had a difficult time that needs to be addressed, we can send well wishes to butterfly kisses, etc. We can go on and on with the stuff that really matters. Any woman who judges or who can speak so vulgar just doesn't deserve to be among our company. LADIES LET US STAY FOCUSED ON KEEPING THIS A SAFE HAVEN FOR THE ONES TRYING TO REBUILD THEIR LIVES.<P>I LOVE YOU GUYS AND HAVE A GREAT EASTER.

Thanks for bringing us back to reality LeeLee. Although it was kinda fun for a moment. I have a small chance to get out some aggression. <P>God Bless all of you on this Easter and every day!<P>Love and Prayers<P>bw

LeeLee~<P>You are one wise woman!! I have read what those people have been writing and I have not posted to them. I do not give my time or energy to anyone that isn't a positive in my life. That only hurts me in the long run, not them in any way, shape or form. It just adds fuel to their fire. Why give them that energy. Everyone needs to focus their precious energy on their healing and happiness. <P>I know this is the Marriage Builder forum and my marriage can't be rebuilt any longer (my H's choice), but I wanted to let everyone know that I do appreciate everyone here. You are all GREAT LADIES of CLASS and all deserve big {{{HUGS}}}!!<P>LeeLee is so right. Focus on rebuilding your lives and marriages and don't give those people the time of day!! They don't deserve anything from you!!!!<P>Hugs to all<P>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR><B>Success is failure turned inside out,<BR>the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,<BR>and you never can tell how close you are,<BR>it may be near when it seems afar,<BR>so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,<BR>it's when things go wrong<BR>that you mustn't quit." <BR>~unknown~</B><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Butterfly Kisses (edited April 15, 2001).]

I have to admit that I was honestly trying to help Regretfully Yours after I read her post about her situation. I know that I came off as pretty offensive, but being in her situation, I didn't feel that she was doing anything right for anyone involved in the situation. I didn't respond directly to Lurking Woman, because of the other people who have tried to come in to our little club to cause more pain. I did, however, praise Bystander on his eloquent rebutle to her, and have had a couple laughs at his most recent to her. I agree that we just need to leave these people alone, and not respond. I honestly felt, at first, that RY was here for some help, and was laying it out for her. Now, it seems as if she wasn't looking for help at all, just someone to approve of what she is doing. Who knows, all I know for sure is that I am done with both of them. If they don't want to take someone's advice, or at least listen to it with an open mind, then they aren't worth my time.<P>HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!!<P><BR>Love,<P>Tigger

Hey Lee,<P><BR> Happy Easter!(Another Easter Sunday, and again I find those funny looking eggs everywhere! What's up with that?)<P> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

I'm with you Leelee. I am ignoring them. For someone who claims not to answer our valid questions, she sure posts a lot of stupid ones. Thanks for joining the fight against these people who are here to start nothing but trouble.<P>happy_girl

I agree leelee...not worth our time and aggravation.<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Leelee, thank you for being the light on the Lurking Woman et al situation. I had read the posts and thought about asking everyone to come back to why we are here. They just bring strife to a place where we come to find peace and support from others who have endured the marital stresses of having a spouse cheat and then be presented with a child that will always be a reminder of our spouses' STUPIDITY. We have suffered, our children (depending upon their knowledge of affair/OC) suffer and probably the OC will ultimately suffer. There is no right way to deal with the OC, only the way that allows the marriage to come back together. I am a Trekkie, not an avid Trekkie, but still a Trekkie. I used to quote Mr. Spock, anyone remember in the second Trek movie, he says "The needs of the many outway the needs of the few." It may not be an exact quote but it says quite poignantly what this situation is all about. The needs of the family, wife and marital children outway the needs of the OW and OC. In a perfect world all children would have two parents and a loving family. There would be no famine, children would all be healthy, and there would be no wars. I could go on but I think I have covered it. We do the best that we can with what we have been given and that is all we can do. I hope I have been a favorable influence here on you all. No one else can understand the pain we have had until they have walked in our shoes, yet I hope no more would have to. <BR> Well I have not been too verbose and I apoligise. Good night to all and I hope your futures are better. See ya next time. I am <BR>Texasgirl.<P>PS I tried to proofread this, if I missed anything forgive me. I am an educated person, just don't always show it. Even perfect people make mistakes. (Just kidding, who's perfect, not me!!)<BR>

hey guys, i posted this earlier, but i don't think i made a good enough title. leelee definitely picked an attention grabber, and since i was thinking along the same lines, here is what i posted on my post. i am in agreement with leelee, let's ignore these people, especially the one in particular who now seems to be posting under seemingly <B>innocent</B> topics, then proceeds with her own agenda. <P>happy_girl<P><BR>~~Recently there has been the addition of some people who seem to be here only to start trouble and cause pain. I know that their arguments are provoking and many want to respond to them, I wish we wouldn't for 2 reasons.<P>First of all, they are only here to cause pain. What other reason could they have? <B>I mean what kind of people lurk around different "help" forums with their only intention being to start debates?</B> They have no life, and are obviously just cruel people with nothing better to do. And I think they are very upset that a lot of us are <I>succeeding in making our marriages work despite the hurdles we have had to over come</I>. Why give them the satisfaction? If we ignore the posts, they will soon be at the bottom of the list. And they will go away.<P>Second, and more importantly, are the newbies that are coming here. If you were a newbie, just found out, and walked into a forum like this, you would probably run! This is supposed to be a support group/forum, and somewhere we can come to talk to others in the same types of situations. It is not a debating hall. I wonder how many have wandered upon this place only to leave because they felt intimidated by the various wars going on.<P>This is just my opinion, but I wish that the forum could be what it was when I first came. I felt safe here, and I can't imagine how newbies feel here. Many posts unanswered at times when the provokers posts get flames by them. I am guilty of not writing a lot lately, but I will be trying to post more when I can.<P>Take care, and lets remember what this forum is for. It is for people dealing with an affair that resulted in a pregnancy. It is for those of us <B>in that situation</B> to share our triumphs, fears, encouragement, etc. It is not a debate forum.

Bravo, Happygirl, LeeLee, and all the others here who have said what I have been thinking for days , better yet weeks, because this recent unwanted debator is not the first who has caused us to get off track. As a matter of fact, Happy Girl is so right about the newbies coming here and feeling out of sorts and not being sure what to do, I felt that way when I came and I lurked for awhile until I found the right time to post inbetween debates. Also lately I have noticed many threads I had an interest in responding to, but all the confusion of the unwanted arguments got me off track. My energy level is short lately a combination of stress, the weather, lack of exercise, and over thinking some events that I have pending in the near future. Anyway those are areas for a different thread, more inportantly...lets get back to our purpose here and ignore the unwanted. Thanks for bringing up some important points everyone and I hope we can all get back to our purpose. Peace, GAbi1116

I just seen this, I to think if you just dont respond the dung beattles will go away. You can tell what these ow are all about just in the first few sentences they always sound the same. I think it just kills them when they think there paychecks may be cut. Also when they cant stick there putrid noses in the marriages they were trying to distroy they just cant stand it, our lives must be all they have left to meddle in. I dont plan on responding to anymore it is a waste of time.Lets get a case of RAID out this time. with love flowerseed

Tigger, it ia TRULY amazing that you are so all commanding that you know what I am doing. To make the judgement that I am just looking for appovement of what I am doing is way off base. I feel you have no right to make ANY determination of my situation and what my mindset is. All I did was post my opinion about CS, you knew nothing of my full sotry or what I am trying to do to resolve it. If would have read my posts you would see my full intentions. If ALL of you call yourselfs Ladies, then remember that you should be graceful and ever so polite. If you are interested in knowing my story PLEASE let me know. Otherwise, DO NOT post my name in ANY of YOUR posts. I don't feel you have the right to include my name if you are not saying something nice about me. I CERTAINLY would not do that to you, like I said before, it is amazing what people will say under the "cover" of the Internet. It is rude and unjust. I am just looking for so help in my situation, NOT APPOVEMENT. If I wanted APPOVEMENT, I would go to TOW. I am about to hurt ALOT of people, people I care about and love. If I thought for a single moment that I could live this lie, I most certainly would. Honestly is the only way to get through what I have done. SO BEFORE YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF GOD AND START HANDING DOWN JUDGEMENTS ON PEOPLE, DON'T MAKE YOURSELF A VICTIM IN THE PROCESS. YOU HAVE PLAYED IT WELL TO THIS POINT.

Regretfully yours,<BR>surely you realize that these comments were made about you directly after your really insulting remarks. If you read the other posts, you will see that everyone is eager to help you now that you have made it clear that you really are here for help and that you do want to do the right thing.<P>I think you have a bit of a temper, my dear. That's not entirely a bad thing. I have a bit of one myself. but you have to learn not to go off half-cocked. I would like to hear more about the steps you are taking to tell your h. Why don't you start over from the beginning here - not with your story, but I mean start over with the ladies/gents of this forum. They are all truly remarkable people. And tigger can give you some really wonderful advice. she is a terrific person, and could be invaluable to you.<BR>cd