Hey Heavenly,<P> Come back and say hi. I miss you!! <P><BR> God bless you,<BR> <BR> <BR> <P>------------------<BR>Gregg

I have not been posting much lately, but lurking a lot. I had to agree to this post, Heavenly hope to hear from you. You are missed, I have always enjoyed reading your posts and appreciated all your responses to me. And if I remember, we did have a few laughs together in the chat room. Well hope all is well, and you have just been busy, and will return. I have been not feeling up to posting much lately, our sage seems like it will never end, so it has been making me feel slugish. I read this and just had to say yes I agree hope to see you around here soon. Gabi1116

Dear Gregg and Gabi,<P>I turned on my computer this morning and was pleasantly surprised to see your messages!<P>Gregg, you know I could never resist you -- so I had to write and say hello. I have not been posting for a while. The forum has changed quite a bit and I guess I am out-of-date - like all good Catholic girls!<P>I am happy to see that you are back and still have that terrific sense of humour. And I am even happier to see that you are hopelessly in love with Angel. <P>Gabi, we did have a great time in the chat room and it was always a pleasure to read your posts and reply to you. How are things going for you these days? <P>Gregg and Gabi, I gave a bit of an update on myself under the post from taking care "observation and update". My H and I had a serious talk a couple months ago which helped my marriage take a very dramatic turn for the better. We had really opened up and started communicating on a new level.<P>Well, whenever things are going smooth, God likes to throw a curve ball for entertainment -- enter into my life an old love whose flame is still burning as bright as ever. I tried to be cool about the whole situation but unfortunately every time he comes around I start to melt from the flame.<P>Why this had to happen now is the question. My H is trying more than he has ever tried since the OW/OC thing started. We have just opened up new trust and communication. And, my H already senses that there is something more than friendship brewing between me and OM. <P>I know it is wrong, but like I told taking care, I feel like someone wants me for who I am -- and that is such a wonderful feeling. So many times during this ordeal, I have wondered if my H was trying to save his relationship with me or what just trying to preserve the life he has known for so long -- kids, home, financial security.<P>OM works in another department, and has just returned from assignment of several years in an overseas office. Right now I have not done anything but flirt with the idea of an A, but I am losing ground fast and the OM is very smooth and persuasive. <P>I keep trying to focus on my marriage and children. I really don't want to hurt my H or my kids. But, I have been struggling for so long and it has taken such a toll on me. <P>Anyway, glad to see you are both well. And, I welcome any wisdom that would help me come to my senses.<P>love,<BR>heavenly<P>

Dear Heavenly,<BR>You and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye, but I have missed you while you were gone. I'm glad you're back.<P>Could I offer my viewpoint on your current dilemna? I was struck by the way you wrote "God threw a curveball" into your life just when your marriage was getting to be better than ever. keep in mind that when things are going great, old satan gets nervous that he's going to lose. he likes nothing better than to see God's sanctified unions break apart, and he really hates to see marriages survive despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles (like the ow/oc). Be very careful that you don't mistake the hand of the devil for the hand of God. Remember that God would never put anything in motion that was detrimental to the marriage and the family.<P>that said, I know exactly where you are coming from. My ex "miraculously" reappeared in my life around the time of the affair. I originally thought that perhaps God had brought him there in order to sooth my hurt feelings, but came to realize that it was just the devil throwing another wrench in the works. In my case, it certainly helped that ex was a world-class nutcase, but still the feeling that somebody, anybody wanted me for me was very hypnotizing.<P>I am certainly not judging you in any way for you feelings. I truly do understand where you are coming from. But I think you should be very very cautious. I'm not saying for certain that this is the devil's work, but maybe if you pray to God to step in an circumvent any satanic influences that may be working in your life, things would become clearer one way or another. <P>cd

heavenly:<P>Here's your cheap advice: tell your husband how you feel, and have nothing to do with the (nearly) OM. The two of you need to work on rebuilding your marriage. If you need more costly advice, call either Steve or Jenn and have a couple of sessions with them---they'll help you maintain focus on your marriage.

cd my dear,<P>I say what is on my mind and then I don't look back. You are a very caring person and your advice means just as much to me as everyone else that I have met here on MB. Our former misunderstanding is just that -- former -- I don't give it any thought anymore and I hope you don't either.<P>You are so right that I am categorizing this latest challenge inappropriately. satan is the root of this latest situation. I have always been a very devout person and so I am praying for guidance and asking God to help me focus on my goal -- maintaining a wonderful relationship with my husband and saving my marriage.<P>K,<P>Thanks for the cheap, but, as usual, excellent advice. My H has asked me point blank whether I have feelings for the nearly OM and I told him "don't be silly -- that was then and this is now".<P>I was afraid that if I tell my H that the urge is very strong, my H will feel threatened by the situation and will lose trust in our marriage. But, I guess my feelings are showing anyway so it might be better to be upfront and honest with him.<P>I am very vulnerable right now and it seems that the nearly OM knows this. He deliberately puts on the charm whenever we meet at work and he makes suggestive comments that imply that my H is not worthy of me and that he would treat me like I deserve to be treated. <P>I have to think of how to approach my H with this news and yet reassure him that I am dealing with the situation and it is no threat to our happiness. But first, I have to reassure myself of that.<P>thanks, guys.<BR>love,<BR>heavenly

Dear Heavenly,<P> Welcome back, it's good to hear from you. The gang's all here!!<P> I am at a loss for advice about OM, all I can think of to say is as long as you are married, please don't get involved, please!!<P> We all love you, God bless you,<P><BR> <P><BR> <P>------------------<BR>Gregg

heavenly i wrote you on the egroup. lit a candle for you. please don't get involved with the OM. it will only hurt you later. and hurt all the progress you have accomplished with H. the grass isn't always greener on the other side. remember that. you are in my prayers...<P>happy_girl

Dear Gregg and Happy_girl,<P>You are both right -- I should simply stay away!!!!<P>And, I am trying to do that. But, this whole episode has given me some insight into my H's actions too. Sometimes when satan comes calling, you really have to use every bit of will power and mind power to focus on what is right. But, if I did not have you guys to yell at me, my story might have had a completely different ending.<P>Thanks for your prayers. I still must see the "nearly OM" at work so I am not completely out of the woods yet. But, as taking care told me, I am also trying to look at my marriage to see if there is something missing that would have allowed this OM to worm his way in.<P>love,<BR>heavenly

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