I did not mean to cause problems or get people upset with me by my comments. I was just looking for a safe haven too. Looking for people who understand or have gone through what I am. I am not ignorant or blind, nor am I insenstive to what I have done. I will pay for it on Judgement Day I am sure. I was just loooking for someone to talk with and to give me advice. Sadly it was not here. I know many of you will be gald to see me go, I will not be a bother here again. I am sorry for upsetting so many of you.

Regrettfully Yours:<P>I've noticed from your posts that you express yourself in a very self-centered way (for example, the "I have to figure out what <B>I</B> want, and what's best for <B>my</B> children". And it's been very unclear why you are here---I haven't seen you say that you've ended your affair and are trying to work on your marriage. <P>This site is for rebuilding marriages. If you're really interested in doing so, then I encourage you to stay. If you're not sure and want to debate the pros and cons, then stick around (but perhaps head to the General Questions section). I also encourage you to offer this site as a resource to your husband---it may help if he knows that he's not alone in dealing with this kind of trauma.

Bad Move Regretfully Yours.<P>You belong on this website. If not here, then in General Questions. Yes, you got off to a bit of a rocky start,but so have many others who post here. Obratti1 started off a little shakey if I recall, now she is welcomed here along with her insights.<P>So don't bail now, that people are getting to know you. For one important reasons if no others. Your H is going to need a lot of help. And if you want to help him, you need to be talking with K. Your H will need this also but he may not be willing to come here, so it may fall to you to be the go between.<P>Hang in there, things will get better.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Dear Respectfully yours,<P>Sometimes when people come to this site they are so filled with emotion - anxiety, fear, self-loathing, guilt -- and they are overwhelmed to find other people in similar situations. They start writing and pouring out their emotions but the words don't necessarily represent exactly what they are trying to say.<P>I have not been on the forum for a while, but I read your exchanges with Just Learning and it seemed to me that however badly you began your relationship with MB you are on the right track now.<P>I am not in your situation. My H has an OC. But I can tell you one feeling that I believe applies to both situations. The thing that hurt and upset me the most was the fact that my H had information which could change my life that he chose not to share with me. He was keeping information about the OC from me because he did not want to lose me.<P>Big mistake, RY. No matter how unpleasant the news, I had a right to know because marriage is about the lives of TWO people. You would be surprised and amazed at what you can work out with your spouse once you decide to be honest.<P>Don't sell your H short. Tell him and let him decide what role he wants to play in the child's life. I would bet you that the news will hurt and shock him but won't change his love for the child.<P>Let those who have been where you are help you through this. Good luck to you, you are in my prayers.<P>love,<BR>heavenly

Please don't leave! I really want to help you since our situations are so similar! Like I said before, I know that I came across so harshly the first time, but I really think that you are getting to the point where you are open to suggestions, and are needing to reach out to those of us here who can help. Please stay, and let us help. Like K said, if not here, on General Questions!<P>Tigger

regretfully yours, i did not mean you when i said i felt the safe haven was disrupted. i did not post directly to you before because i did not feel it is right to not tell your husband and i didn't know how to respond to your posts. but, i think that if you seriously want to rebuild your marriage, or at least try to, then this is the place to be. <P>you came off in an argumentative way but as you have continued posting, it seems you are looking for help. tigger is a great gal, and i think she in particular can really help you, along with the H's who are in the position your H is in. <P>happy_girl

Regretfully Yours,<BR>Just to let you know we have two tiggers if things seem confusing as to the replies. I to can see you really are here for help. Hope you will let those that know what you are going through help. flowerseed<BR>