I've been away caring for my dying uncle and then again to attend his funeral and burial. I will miss him very much. He was like a dad to me and supported me through the EA my husband had, we talked long distance all the time. I am grateful for the 2 weeks we had at his home when I cared for him and also enjoyed the company of his sister (she's a delightful 80 year old!) She and I became best friends.

Much as I miss him, I am joyful because there's no doubt he is in paradise.

The priest came and gave him last rites on my first visit. The house was as always full of kids and grandkids, it's a tiny house, and he had forgotten his appointment, and the priest came in and we all stood blessing ourselves and praying with him, and we all wept silently, choking back our sobs, and watched him receive his last holy communion and last rites.

He was a tiny yellowed skeleton, even the fat of his ears left him, they were sticking out from the sides of his head, his shirt hung enormous on his frame. He made the sign of the cross as he sat in his easy chair. A tiny yellowed skeleton, and the biggest, bravest man I ever knew. He'll always be my champion, my hero, my godfather.

The gift of time, the two weeks caring for him, is something I'll always treasure. Once the rain stopped, my cousin and I drove him down to the pond to enjoy the park. I tried to plant in his mind that heaven must look like this place. She and I stood holding his wheelchair, each of turned away from the other, crying silently.

It was the last time he was able to visit the park.

At visitation I held his arm, he was so cold, I grasped his hand, so cold and stiff, and said how I would miss him. A rosary was wound around his right hand. I wore a rosary, a gift from him, around my neck. It was the one he wore during the Korean war, he gave it to me years before, and it still connects us.

One thing my husband did before I flew back to care for my uncle, was he wrote him a beautiful letter, which my uncle shared with all of us. My husband is a stone faced unemotional and cold person, he has trouble showing his feelings, but when he wrote that letter he touched all of us. Every cousin and every cousin's kid loved it, and my cousin who is the executor of the estate made copies for all who wanted one.

Gotta go for now. Keep working on your marriages. This is a wonderful site.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Be Faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life! Revelation 2:10</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">please accept my condolences
I am sure you will remember your uncle with great fondness. I thank you for sharing part of your life with me..

Father I ask that you help and comfort Bellvue and her family at this time..
wrap your loving arms around them all and give them peace and the rest they will need..

Lord we know that he is with you in heaven where you will wipe away all tears and there is no sickness there..thank you father that her uncle lived a life that brang Glory to you.
Now Lord comfort them all with your love. Help her to restore her health now and give her stregth and bless her for helping her uncle in his time of need..we know we are your hands and feet on earth..Let us be kind one to another..In Jesus name amen..

Keep on keeping on... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ June 28, 2003, 10:19 AM: Message edited by: SadEyes ]</small>

Thank you SadEyes. Faith has helped us get through this. Revelations is not part of the Bible I ever visit, I'll have to check it out, and thank you for that quote.

My uncle's sister prays every day and she prayed every morning with him when he woke up, thanking God for giving us another day with him, and ending with "In Jesus' precious name, amen." It was a lovely experience, to see how she made up the prayer as she went along, acknowledging God's gifts day by day and hour by hour.

Belle
do you live in Washington state?
I only ask because there is a Belvue here in our state.

I hope your family is all doing well. I think the going through things is the hardest part for the family.

I am trying to spend an hour a day sorting through my deceased husbands things..and not sure what to do with stuff the kids didn't want and I don't need it either..so deceided to get some youth group from a church to pick it up for their garage sale for their trip to mexico...so at least i will know it helped someone, or should I say help many...

well let me know if your in Belvue becaust it isn't that far..from me probably and hours ride..
take care.Keep on Keeping on.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

"do you live in Washington state?
I only ask because there is a Belvue here in our state."

I live in So Cal. Bellevue is also the name of an insane ward in a New York charity hospital. I don't know if it's still in existence. I chose it because 5 years ago I doubted my sanity.

I don't have to go through the things my uncle left behind, though I was ready and willing to clean up the house when we returned for the funeral. The house has to be sold and any profit divided among his children. My cousin is in charge, what a headache for him!

Nobody was ready to talk about clearing things out, and for me to insist or to start up on my own would have caused a rift. So I just let it be.

I asked my cousin to save me some keepsakes of sentimental value to me (but worthless on eBay!) and if he can, he will. I prefaced my request with "If any of your siblings wants the item instead, just let them take it."

The most important inheritance is in my heart.

SadEyes, about the things you have to go through, get receipts if you donate them to charities. Save the receipts in your income tax file.

Sometimes we clean out our closets, and have a yard sale. I go through the stuff, and anything that will be useful for friends (and is in first class condition) I bag and drive to their house. Anything good enough to sell, but that my friends couldn't use, we put out to sell. Some friends bring their stuff over also. The day of the sale we arrange for a pickup from a charity to come at the end of the day, and we each get a receipt for our annual taxes.

We make a party of it. I brew coffee and set up a table for people who stop and look to have free coffee. During the lulls we sit and visit. One neighbor brings homemade Indian food. The kids sell their stuff and keep the money. Later they go inside and watch videos.

You could turn the process of going through your husband's stuff into a nice memory.

Thank you for your prayers.

I'm am very sorry for your loss.

Takola, thank you.

My condolences to you and your family.

Thank you Nokomis.