Hi. I was curious what your situation was? are you male or female? Wife, husband, OW, OC?

Hi LW,<P>Thanks for your good opinions. They are very supportive to innocent children.<P>Unfortunately I'm the OW, but I am a good person, not saint but good. Who made a big mistake and didnt want to make another one (women here thinks abortion would have been a good solution, but not for me) so I decided to keep the baby.<P>The point of views I'm trying to share to these resentful and angry women here are based on my actual experience. The more they push their H's not to make any contact with OC's isnt a good thing at all. Esp. for those H's who wants to father OC's. These fathers/H's shld be admired for taking responsibility for their mistakes . And the Oc's deserves a loving parent who are willing to give the love and care kids rightfully need. <P>In my case, the F wants to continue contact with child but W doesnt want to. so what happens, F lies to W about his visitations to Oc. so when F asked me if its ok that he continue his visitation, I said yes. I didnt mind. but i know the W doesnt know this. <P>That's why i want to share this to those controlling spouses that no matter how they control their H's, if H's wants to see OC, they will do it. <P>If you prefer to talk privately, we can exchange views via email.<P>thanks for the concern.<P>LesW

lesw, how do you feel once again doing something behind the wife's back? Do you think you are justified again for the sake of your child? I again think you and H are once again living a lie to wife and his original family, and that marriage is probably doomed.do you want H in life with you and your child??if so,I see that what you and he are doing are working toward that end. I see it is fine for you to live your life, hurting more people again. I am one of the betrayed spouses who does not want contact with OC, but had my h not agreed to abide by my wishes, I probably would have agreed to him visiting child without my participation. Do I think that is a good idea for anyone in the situation? no-not for me if that happens for me, not for my kids, not for the child born of the affair. HOw often does your lover visit child? how old is the child?how do you explain father visits at your place but child never sees father at his place?will he be attending school conferences, sport events, etc. when his other kids require the same attention? I think it would be best for child to have a full time father.Do you ever think of finding someone to parent the child full time and adopt or at least act as a step parent/ ? I would like to hear what you have to say about this to try and understand how my OW may feel. Also, how old is child? Do you have other kids? HOw many kids did lover have? how old? how long married? did you know he was married when Affair occurred? Did you think he would leave wife for you? Just wondering.

LesW,<BR>Once again my point is made. You posted ***so I decided to keep the baby.*** Not "WE" decided to keep the baby. Not even we talked about it and I told him he would have to spend the rest of his life dealing with MY decision. You made this decision by yourself, why shouldn't you have to live with the consequences of that decision by yourself ?<BR>Why drag him and his family into a parenting role that he clearly doesn't want just because YOU think it is for the best ?<P>Jtigger<BR>

jtigger - you assume the husband in her situation wasn't in support of her keeping the baby. I am sure he was. But once again YOU judged. And they wouldn't be lying if the wife hadn't made the no contact decision, if it had been jointly made. She just proved the point that all of you may be wrong. If you force a man to have no contact, it's likely they will just do it behind your back. <P>Les W - I am proud of you and your child. I think you did what was right. I don't think abortion is an answer to anything it is murder. Adoption is also not necessarily the answer. Yes adoption is a loving thing to do for a child, but only if it is truly the only options. In the long run kids almost always come back looking for their biological parents.<P>Regarding speaking in private, sure - but how do we do that? I have aol instant messanger but how do i get you my screen name without all these angry lady's getting it?

Are you kidding like we would really give a rats a** about your screen name. pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you are definantly 1 hair short lady.