The fact is LesW cannot control the husband. He wants to see his child. And that child deserves to see him. LesW is not responsible for his behavior he is. And if he continues to lie to his wife he is the jerk for doing so. But his wife needs to realize that ultimatums don't get you anywhere. If the wife had been willing to the visitation, I bet the husband would have negotiated and been willing to have the wife as the intermediary. But it's not an option since the wife won't even agree to visitation.

lsb: I'm surprised you said you're a christian but would support abortion anywayz? how is that so? A christian is supposed to be a believer of God and abortion is totally against God's wishes. <P>Also, some of your postings especially about the REVENGE IDEAS were totally unchristian. And you proudly says you're a Christian? what a shame to Christianity, that is!<P>Being judgemental and critical should not be exclusive. If you want to claim you're not that kind of a person then you shld not even to the OW for that matter. In the first place, you dont know the real position of why the OW was there to begin with. Maybe there are some facts of the A that your H is not telling you so you can forgive him easily. <P>Good you mentioned about lying: K and some other members here doesnt want to support you in making that letter because you have the intention to lie to OW about the fake custody, the disclosure to the family and others. In that case, I rest my case.<P>In allowing OM to visit OC doesnt mean re-uniting with OW. Its a whole different issue. In my case, I was the one who push him to go back to his family but BW doesnt see that. what else can OW do?<P>

Thank you LW for your continued support. I feel sorry for these BW's who believes their H's has changed or hopes H's will change. They dont have any clue that most of their H's are just smooth talking to them then go back to cheating again. <P>I'm just trying to share some facts of what i've experienced in real life. But since they have one track mind of bitterness towards OW's, then they're missing the point here.

LesW,<BR>I agree these women have a one track mind and are very bitter towards the OW. I guess what puzzles me is that they are hearing one side of a story and with blind faith believing their husband. What I really get a kick out of is that some of them have reffered to the OW as being out there and chasing their husbands. But the fact is that from what I have seen through my experience and reading on the net, it is often that the husband lies to the OW, makes promises and lies to the BW and makes promises. And tries to have them both. I think the anger here is misplaced. Obviously the OW had something the husband liked or loved, he created a child with her! As long as the BW defends, babys and shelters the husband from the consequences of his actions they will be lied to, deceived, and cheated on by their husband.

What a HAPPY set of people you are, yourselves... I say, if we want to be bitter and hateful, we are entitled! I find you rather bitter and hateful towards us, so I believe that's the pot calling the kettle black, wouldn't you say? As for me, I have enough unnecessary crap in my life right now and choose to make this my only post in response to your negativity. Ignorance is bliss....

just trying to pull up

I am not bitter or angry at you. I feel for you. But I still think that your anger is misplaced. The person that had a commitment to you was your husband. He broke that commitment so he needs to be the focus of your anger. By focusing it on the OW or OC your letting him off the hook.

Exactly LW, one track mind BW's. They dont know that their H's wants both worlds. H's manipulates both OW's and BW's , make them both believe or hear what they want to hear and there he goes back to same lifestyle, being a jerk, a liar and a cheat!<P>

Well said LW!<BR>

my h says he wants nothing to do with the "little bast**d or his c*nt mom"<BR>He says he will not put me or our children through anymore pain, I actually told him he could see it if he wants<BR>What kind of bonding or feelings can they have for the result of a one night mistake????<BR>And if they are lying and going behind our backs then you can have them LW and LesW cuz they, like OWs, are not worth it!!!

LesW:<P>Did you know when you started a relationship with the OM, that he was married?

Oh my gosh...I really think I am going to be sick..."way to go Lesw..I agree completely...good posting...dont leave LW"..yada yada yada.<P>Do you 2 need a cheerleading section or what? I would swear you were one in the same. Like you are trying to convince us that you are not so you talk to each other. How many other voices do you talk to?<P>BTW everyone..I went and looked agian at some of the times these "2" have posted and check it out<BR>LW 2:28<BR>LW3:03<BR>Les 3:07<BR>Les 3:23<BR>LW 3:49<BR>Les 4:02<BR>Les 4:04<P>Do they have their timing down or what?<BR> <p>[This message has been edited by broken_wings (edited April 18, 2001).]

broken wings,I know it reminds me of a person that has really fallen over the cliff. Its really funny but yet sad that a person can be this messed up in there thinking. It really makes me pity some of you guys that have said you have fruit loop ow to deal with this one really gives the idea of what its all about to lose your mind. with love flowerseed

Yes, we were very vulnerable at that time. There were multiple women he had affair with for the whole time of his marriage. at least more than a dozen. I maybe be the last. He admitted he had sexual addiction and personality disorder after confronting him. I also found out that i was not the only woman he was having an affair with at the same time. He had respective relationships with two or more other women during my time. The rest took place in the past. When I discovered it, I broke off right away. I tried to break up with him many times even before OC. but we loved each other so much, it was hard. <BR>Aside from the long term affairs, he had other short ones. didnt know it all until later. His wife doesnt know any of these. Im aware i made mistake for involving myself into the relationship but got trapped anyway. am i to be blamed for all of these? he was a very loving, caring, affectionate , giving, understanding person but didnt know of his dark side then. Oc came already. the wife is blaming it all to me. i didnt want to abort. even if its the product of pregnancy or horrible incident, i'd not abort. during the first few months of the pregnancy, he asked me to abort but didnt consider it. I asked him to turn his back and walk away bec. I knew he has a responsiblity to his family but he chose to stick with me while trying to be a good father and good husband at the same time. he said, whatever my decision would be, he would be there to support me . after seeing the child, he fell in love with child. wants to father as much as he can to child. he was enjoying teh baby as much as I am. didnt as for CS for few months bec. I waited he might offer voluntary. but when i noticed he was so involved with child, i asked if its ok to ask for help. so he said, let's do the paternity then. until everything was finalized. <P>then time to tell the real family. but W wont agree to continue contact. OM wants to continue contact. i asked him to do what is best for him, for his family and Oc. he said, he wants to keep family and continue to contact Oc. He's a great dad regardless of his other side. that's all i can say.<P>

Here we go again, referring to children as [censored]. Children are not [censored] parents that neglect their responsibilities are. And I think you should be real proud to be married to a man that slept with what you term a slut and then conceived a [censored] (your term). What did that child ever do to you or your husband? NOTHING. That child had the unfortunate luck of having your husband blood flow through his veins. I am sure if he could he would change that! And let your husband tell you what you want to here but I guarantee you a large percent of the time these men are out cheating again with other women if not the same one. Especially when they are that callous about the lives they have effected.

Regarding whether LesW and myself are one in the same. Nope were not. I am sure that you would like to believe only one person disagrees with you but your not that lucky. If you would like we can meet in a chat room and you can see there are two of us! (atleast). However I prefer not to waste my time "chatting" with you.

LW, did i confuse you. I was the other woman (OW) here. I stated whole situation of what happened to me and the affair ended with OC and where Oc stands now. I think, i confused some of you, as if I was a BW but i am the OW.<P>thanks and take care.

[censored] was not my term but my husbands<BR>Slut is a girl who sleeps with s drunk married man just because he wife left him and she has no one for that night<BR>Also she said she didn't want anyhting from him, she was going to get an abortion, she wanted all parental rights to herself so on so on with her lies like she hoped we could work it out <BR>then wham bam a no contact order then support request<BR>

Come on LW...I asked you and Les what your stories were.<P>Les had enough guts to give it. What about you?<P>Les...just to clarify, cause I was a little confused...did you initially know he was married?

I gave my story numerous times!!!!! I am a BW, my husband of five years cheated on me numerous times. He was once accused of fathering a child with an OW. I insisted he find out if it was his child and see the child. It turned out not to be his child. However I got smart after the cheating continued through a lot of very convincing lies to realize he was a chronic cheater. I left him. <P>I may not be in any of your shoes exactly but i was faced with it so I do have some of the experiences you all talk about. I however put the child's needs above my own hate and vengeance.