lesw, I do not know why I feel the need to reply to you, but yes, I consider myself a Christian, just not a perfect one. I do believe in abortion, although I admit it is a difficult decision for all. I believe in a woman's right to choose, the OW made her choice, so be it, but she did it with the intention of harming others. I am angry with my H, do not forget that, but he and I have a life of good times to get over this.The OW and I have no relationship, nor do I want one. I am not threatened by her so much as threatened by the life she and my H created away from me and my family, and the life my H admits he really never was "with". He said he really wasn;t really with her, his real life was with me and my kids. That is true. He spent so little time with her, despite the length of the affair,e ven therapist was shocked at his depth of committment to our life during it all. Trust me when I tell you my H has seen and continues to see my rage and wrath and will for a long time. He lives with me daily knowing my weight loss, lack of joy in life, inertia is due to what he has wrongly done, and admits it is painful for him to know he is responsible for it.But he and I have a life to save which we care about. I have no caring for OW or OC's life-I do not feel unChristian for that, I do not care for everyone's life in the whole world, I feel I need to protect my life and my kids' lives. Having revenge ideas for OW is one thing-acting them is another. You notice I have not acted on them yet OW acted on her impulse to have sex with a married man, and did have no thought of who she was hurting. She does not care for me, I do not care for her. Enough said.That is why I want she , her child, and me as far away from each other as possible. I do not think my H will go behind my back to See OC-if he does, that is the end and he knows that, and call it what you want-it is what we have to agree to enthusiastically, and without that, we have nothing. Right now I cannot agree to contact with OC even if OW is not involved-it is too painful. It is just not that simple for BW to accept OC-the child embodies all that was done to them. HOw you cannot see that escapes me. The child had nothing to do with it, but is forever connected to it.That is the way it is. To move forward, I have to leave the OC behind.That is how I feel. NO apology for that at all, and I do not feel unChristian for that thought.

lsb, <P>Yes, I made the choice without any intentions of hurting anybody. I made the choice because I feel it was the righteous thing to do in the eyes of God. I made the choice because the life inside me is an innocent one and shldnt be punished for my wrong actions. The baby inside me has the right to life. same way your kids has the right to life. no matter what the situation is. Whether its a product of rape or affair or whatsoever, for that matter.<P>The OM was given the choice too to turn his back and walk away but he chose to stay and supported me for my decisions. After seeing the child, he even changed his views about abortion , being a murder it is! There were no demands made on him as far as parenting the OC, but he made that choice to father the child as much as he can. He knew it was a hard balancing act for him doing both parenting to kids of marriage and A, at the same time pretending to be a good husband to wife. He made all those decisions to himself. So why OW/OC shld be blamed for all these? why not ask H why he made all those decisions?<P>Again,i'm surprised you question OW for sleeping with a married man, why not question your husband why he slept with another woman outside his marriage? Isnt that a biased opinion if you're just focusing all your anger and blame to the OW and not question your H's credibility at all? you never know, it might be all the H's doings and games. You never know, OW/Oc are just as victims as the wife and kids of marriage? <P>the problem with BW's are that they just want to believe on one side of the story and never mind the other. Its not fair at all. But its all up to you. If you want an honest husband then start digging deeper and try to discover what the real story behind it all then you make the judgement. You may never know, it is you to be blamed afterall! wouldnt that be amazing?<P>

<B>Ladies and any Gents who may view or post here</B><P>Let's all try and play nice here. How about keeping <B> disrespectful judgments </B> or comments out of here? Just like the <B> Marriage Builder Principles</B> state. We should also use these very valuable principles here on the site when dealing with one another.<P>In advance I appreciate all of your cooperation on this matter.<P>------------------<BR><B>Xarelel</B><BR><I>Moderator of Pregnancy/Child Forum <BR>& CO-Moderator of Recovery Forum</I><P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Xarelel (edited April 18, 2001).]

LesW...just want you to know I asked you with all due respect. What I asked was, not about your c, but did you initially know MM was married? What in the world makes you think we havent asked H's questions over and over? Most of us have probably asked them to death. Please, can you be a little more respectful? Especially when you go an dcriticize someone belief in God...that is really uncalled for.

<B>Ladies and any Gents who may view or post here</B><P>Let's all try and play nice here. How about keeping <B> disrespectful judgments </B> or comments out of here? Just like the <B> Marriage Builder Principles</B> state. We should also use these very valuable principles here on the site when dealing with one another.<P>In advance I appreciate each of you and your cooperation on this matter.<BR><P>------------------<BR><B>Xarelel</B><BR><I>Moderator of Pregnancy/Child Forum <BR>& CO-Moderator of Recovery Forum</I>

But GOD teaches to love, forgive, understand, an support people it doesn't teach to hate, be selfish, and be mean towards an innocent child. All LesW said was that the actions didn't seem too Christian like. And they weren't.

Go for it, LW. Let's fight for the innocent OC's.<P>LesW

Rah Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah!!!! GGGGGGOOOOOOOO LWS!!!<P>PUKE!

lesw and lurking woman, this may be my last post to you. One question-you keep talking of being kind to OC by BS. What about how your treated the other family, the family the married man had, and his wife, while you were having the affair? have you treated them with kindness or love? I do not think so. No where in your posts do I see any sensitivity for the plight of these people, who I see are the most innocent victims of them all. Yes, I really my marriage had one spot of problems which pushed my H into affair, and he and I are working on that in counseling.But regardless of our problems, he and OW are responsible for the choices they made which impacted many,; My H admits he was not thinking of us when he was with OW-but never do I hear OW state they were thinking of the wife or kids of married man's life. Do they care they have damaged those people/ I think not.So before you start trouncing everything for the OC-remember, the BS are doing just what you are doing-championing for their rights, life and for their own childlren. And they did no damage to OC/Ow. They owe the OW/Oc nothing, I think the OW owes this family a lot which she often does not give.

Do you really thinkj just because a man is the biological father to a child, that makes it thew childs best interest to have a realtionship with it esp. given the circumstances?<BR>my counselor said she hoped for the sake of the child it wasn't my h's cuz it would be born without a chance, doomed<BR>cant remember the words exactly<BR>my older son goes to see his bio father who now has a younger son too<BR>he gets upset cuz the room the bed have stickers saying the other childs name <BR>the other child sees his daddy every day<BR>my kids have a daddy to see every day too right here<BR>bio to one not hte other<BR>"Daddy" is the one HERE WITH YOU<BR>no the same DNA<BR>Abortion is not the only alternative<BR>ADOPTION???????<BR>there are many 2 parent happy couples who cant conceive<BR>if these women chose to keep these babies themselves knowing father is married and has own family, responsibilites then they should be able to support them themselves.<BR>It would probably be best for these kids NOT to know where they came from and the other kids involved<BR>no one wonders about their rights????