Somebody has to get the ball rolling on posts that are not about interlopers, bickering, etc. So, I am going to do it. Luckily (or unluckily, however you look at it) I do have a problem at the moment.<P>I have been hanging in there pretty well with all the drama that's been going on. And we have had what look like minor victories the last day or two. so in some ways, I am feeling very good about our situation. But strangely enough, I am edgier than ever before. My h is seriously getting on my nerves - not because of anything he is doing - just because ANYBODY would get on my nerves right now. I feel like I am pushing him away with my snappiness, but I am having a hard time being sweet and nice. I'm irritated with just about everything, from the TV shows he chooses to the toilet seat being up. Also, I have to admit that I AM irritated that I keep having to juggle the finances and sweat it out over money because of this stuff. I DO feel ticked off about it. Everytime I try to explain to h that I am mad about the money, but not really mad at him for it, it comes out all wrong and he feels like I am rubbing it in his face. I know that he is working as hard as he can to keep us afloat. I don't know how to get over this edginess and get back to the warm, loving feelings that I normally feel for him. And again, I have to reiterate, that I would be acting this way to ANYBODY who I had to have a lot of contact with just now - it's not h in particular that I have a problem with. It's the situation in general that's making me edgy.<P>K, this might be right up your alley. How do I apply the MB theories to this? H is really doing nothing wrong at all - he has been sweet and loving and very supportive and patient. But I'm going to drive him nuts if I don't work through this somehow. Any suggestions anybody?<BR>cd

I don't have enough time right now, but I do have some suggestions. Abbi is begging to eat, and I am trying to finish breakfast first. I will come back, and offer my suggestions to you.<P>Love,<P>Tigger

cd:<P>I always get nuts about money during this time of year (after Christmas, before taxes). In fact, I'm so thrilled since my wife started handling the finances (now she's nuts... )<P>If it's finances, I suggest that you figure out what's making you nuts, and then decide if you need to make a plan with your husband to address it.<P>If it's his behaviors (annoying), then try to discuss this with him, and see if he can tackle one or two of them.<P>And whenever you feel like snapping, give your husband a big kiss instead. It really works---trust me. If you're still annoyed an hour later, then bring it up.

OK, I'm going to try to type this fast, while she is dozing. I was also going to suggest somethng similar to K's suggestion of giving your H a big kiss when you feel like blowing up at him. Just grab his face, and plant a big sloppy wet one, right on his lips! Basically, transfer that bad agression into good agression, and have some fun doing it. Or, start a tickle fight, again transfering that agression, and also laughing, which is proven to be healthy for you. You could also sit down and just explain that, yes, you are upset or stressed, but it is not towards him, or anything he has done. Also, take a hot shower or bath, or go for a walk, or go window shopping. find some activity to take your mind off your troubles, if just for a couple hours. And last but not least, PRAY for peace in your heart about everythin that has you at this point.<P>Hope it helped out.<P>Love,<P>Tigger

cdcollins, I think it is o.k to be mad about the money issue, and I am not convinced you are not mad at H for creating this situation of monetary stress. Why wouldn't you not be?that said, it often helps me to express my anger, whether at H or in a form of a letter, and then I feel better. I have started to write my H anytime I feel distressed, and then we sit down and respond to what I say. He sometimes has a hard time with it, because much of what has upset me has to do with what he has done related to A and OC-and for that, as much as I wish, he cannot change. But, I tell him I need him to know how I feel, if he responds with understanding and takes responsibility for what he has done, I find anger goes away.Then I kiss him!

CD,<P>This has been my exact problem for about a month now. I was attributing it to the fact that it has been 2 yrs this month and maybe it had something to do with that.<P>I actually was up unitl 430 am this morning with h telling him how I felt and that I was so sorry bc I know how mean I have been and I feel like I can not stop it. He has just starting working a new job and it is very time consuming and very demanding physically and emotionally. I feel like I am putting a lot of undue stress on him. I just get sooooo frustrated bc I was also working. I take care of teh house too and I have basically asked him to take care of 2 things. Take out the trash and clean the ferret cage. he cant seem to manage to do that. It just gets so frustrating. My job just ended on monday bc I was doing taxes and it is over (thank God). I told him I really hoped this would help. I told him I was just so sad bc I feel like I have lost my best friend. We just are not friends anymore, not like we used to be. I told him I wanted my best friend back and i told him I missed him. He told me he missed me too and we hugged and i cryed. <P>If you find a way not to be so snappy, please let me know. I feel so bad for how I treat him. I will be able to stop for a couple of days and then it feels like I cant help starting again. I am trying hard with my love busters. You know I looked over Harleys Love Buster Questionaire and I cryed bc I realize how horrid I have been and the only thing on the whole questionaire that he does it just annoying behavior. That is it. Other than that it is like he is perfect.<P>Ho Hum...I am going to try yoga this summer. Maybe thatll help.<P>Love and Prayers<P>bw

c.d.,<BR>I do the same thing when ever any issues come up with oc. I havent found anything that helps yet either. Only thing I have found is when there is no interfering going on in our lives from ow things are alot merrier. I'm not much help sorry. with love flowerseed