Hello,<BR> i have been reading this board now for 1 1/2 years. what a help it has been. When i started reading i was so lost so empty like i know many of you have felt. i spent MONTHS trying to find some place where i could speak with or read about such a GUTTING situation as my H having a OC much less a 2 year affair. When i found this place i would read for hours at a time posts from people such as catnip, jenny, bystander, bapster, comfort41 etc etc...<BR> Before coming here i had not heard of a married man and women (to other people) creating children.<BR> IT IS DEVISTATING, BEYOND ANY COMPREHENSION OF THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED IT. PRAY YOU NEVER DO. <BR> Getting to the point. after finding this place i came across another board with no intention of posting but a women (tormented) posted in this same situation and was hurting. i felt compelled to post her to let her know there are others out here, and no sooner than i did and she posted a few times this person at the time named sue then suzi then countless other names started verbally abusing us. <BR>Tormented left for the longest time. i am glad she found her way her but i know due the lw and wl (same person) being here she will withdraw again.<BR> this sue person and all her other names were banned from the other board MANY times. Finally the board as a whole pulled together and ignored her.<BR> she/he went away and seems to have come here in many different forms. PLEASE ignore her/him they will go away if there is no fuel.<BR> i feel sick to see such a incredible tool as this ruined b/c of such a unstable person.<BR> PLEASE everyone ignore her. also ignore other antagonistic posts. she comes in many forms under many names. <BR> thanks for listening and for helping so many in ways you dont even know. Hopeful1 <p>[This message has been edited by Hopeful1 (edited April 19, 2001).]

Dear Hopeful1,<P>I think that we are finally getting to the point where we are all willing to let it drop, as far as posting back to these people, be they the same or different people. I too hope that tormented stays here, and weathers out this little storm, so that she can continue to heal with all of us here. I don't recall reading any posts from you before, have you posted your story yet? If not, I'm sure there are many here who would love to read it, and to hear from you more often. I, personally, am not in your exact position, I have the child from OM, and my H is raising it as his own. But, I have learned a lot from others here, and just by reading from their trials and tribulations. <P>Hope to hear from you again, soon.<P>Tigger

Hopeful1,<BR>Thanks, I to feel this one has been here before I had it figured out pretty much right from the start. She kept insisting before she is not a ow. Funny she doesnt know our definition for ow when it applies to humans like her or him dosent stand for other women. with love flowerseed oh my I just typed flowersex and almost didnt catch it.

<BR>flowerseed,<P>flowersex!?! I'm not sure what kind of a Freudian slip that would be! <P>Bystander

Hopeful1, I totally agree w/you. No answer is the best.<P>And Dear Flowersex........heh...heh...heh...too much!<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Hey Flower,<P><BR> Plants have to have fun,too!!<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

plants have fun too????<P>just bring this up to the top. i am in agreement. ignore them! like flowerseed said, trying to send the donkeys to the bottom!<P>happy_girl

Top

Once more to the top

Hi everyone!<P>I am writing to request assistance. Yes, I know, we are the moderators and are supposed to provide the assistance! But, as you are probably aware, moderators are volunteers and generally hold full time jobs where we cannot always keep in touch with the forums during working hours.<P>Here is how you can assist us: If you see an abusive post, <I>please send email to both Xarelel and myself immediately by <B>clicking on the links provided above.</B></I> <B>Please do not respond to the post in question!</B> As has been only too well demonstrated recently, some people derive some kind of satisfaction from "getting to us" and creating a tense and stressful environment. By responding in any way, we are rewarding these individuals - even if it is just to say "Bye-bye!" The quick wit of many of you has been amusing and often quite on target, but unfortunately, any response keeps a thread on top, which is right where they want them to be. No response at all will cause the thread to drop like a rock to the bottom of the list.<P>I ask this on behalf of Xarelel, myself and Marriage Builders. We applaud you for your remarkable restraint and the incredible support that you offer your fellow sufferers. You are great people, and we hope that together all of us can keep this kind of thing from happening again.<P>------------------<BR><B>Tempest</B>, Moderator<BR>Marriage Builders Infidelity Forums:<BR><I>General Questions II, Just Found Out...,<BR>Plan A/Plan B, In Recovery</I> <BR>and <I>Read-Only Posts</I>

Thank you, Tempest. I never would've figured that out, myself. <P>Will do!

<B>Tempest</B><P>Thank you so much for posting this. <P><B>Please everyone,</B> read this over and over whenever you are tempted to respond to these kinds of people. The threads will drop down to the bottom quickly if you don't respond.<P>The other way to make them drop is to keep bring good posts back up to the top, as I am doing with this one. <P><P>------------------<BR><B>Xarelel</B><BR><I>Moderator of Pregnancy/Child Forum <BR>& CO-Moderator of Recovery Forum</I>

<B>Up, up and away to the top</B><P>The creepy stuff is almost off the page. <P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't lose! What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 24, 2001).]

Back up to top.<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Okay Tempest and Xarelel, which link are you referring to, to email you both? I tried to figure it out and even had my husband read the post and we couldn't do it. <P>Thanks much!

Raskal,<BR>Click on one of there names under where it says preg child at the left hand side at the top of page (moderated by Xarelel, Tempest) with love flowerseed

Thanks for keeping this up top. Nice info to know. I appreciate the support from the moderators & all others. Carolyn

I don't have that at the top left? Why is that? I am confused! Thanks flowerseed for helping, though. I appreciate it! <BR> <P><BR>

Now I see it! Gotcha, thanks again Flowerseed!

Just a quick question. Ive decided to ask here and not form a new topic. Who is lw or wl? and whats so bad about her? I dont think ive come across her/him. I just respond to the post that appeal to me. Or the ones I feel connected to. I could however, back when i was just ready, sence some hostility. The mood does seem better!