Why is it that some OP put down the BS and let them know, or at least try to let them know that they are being lied to. We all know that the WS is lying to all parties involved, so they are the pot calling the kettle black. <P>It is a moot point. I am curious what they envision there life with the WS to be like. Do they think that they are different and life would be just grand if they were together? Don't they think of themselves as crumbs from a table and know it is so sad to accept that and want that?<P>That they can't get their own man/woman, they have to take leftovers and a WS that was weak and not in their right mind? I am confused. <P>Anyway, I commend all you wonderful people on this board for standing for your marriage and knowing that vows DO mean so very much. I encourage you to continue to fight this valiant fight and show what true strength and character are.

Well said, Raskal!<P>It is a shame to see women so pathetic that they have to take leftovers from the dinner plate. Quite frankly my plate is so full I no longer care that the OW in my life got a few crumbs!<P>love,<BR>heavenly

Thank you, heavenlybody! I am so glad that your plate is so full. <P>I was just tired of seeing the attacks at all you wonderful people here and the true meaning of marriage. Through thick and thin...<P>Take care,<BR>~Raskal

heavenly,<BR>That was a great way to put it ow getting a few crumbs, yeah I agree. Thanks Raskal for your support. with love flowerseed

You are most welcome, Flowerseed. <P>I hope things are going better on the board. Thanks to HBC and some others, from what I can see it is going better. <P>I wish I could do more.

Raskal,<BR>You did make a very good point and I have asked my WS/W what she thought about that. She is now living with OM, but before she did that I asked her if she planned on cheating on OM first or if she thought OM would cheat on her first. Needless to say that didn't go over too well, but she did say that they had discussed that and that they were concerned about that!! That in itself is evidence of other life forms..how else could you explain these two..they can't be from earth..maybe they're from URANUS or THEIRANUS!! Anyway do they think this is just like any other relationship and the risks of infidelity are the same as if they met as two single people instead of both married? I don't expect you to have the answer to this, just spitting out some comments.<BR>Floored

Hey Raskal,<P>Just wanted to say thanks for your support and concern!<P>Love <BR>bw

Dear Raskal,<P>I also want to thank you for your support and many others who stopped by to help fight off the attack. <P>You are so right, marriage vows do mean something and I think that message drove the OWs crazy when they invaded. I think they still believe they have a chance to steal the MM they were involved with and it came as a rude awakening that we are not sitting by and allowing that to happen without a fight.<P>love,<BR>heavenly

another theory...pure jealousy.<BR>OW that respond like this tend to be the ones that lost. H's wisened up and chose us, realized OW was a mistake...instead of limping off to lick their wounds, they try to 'save face'<p>[This message has been edited by DumbStruck (edited April 21, 2001).]

Maybe we are just trying to get the point across - not that your husband lied (past tense) but that he is lying NOW. And the BW I am referring to knows exactly what I am saying, that is why she has not posted. She is probably confronting her husband. And boy does she need your support, but where are all you? On a lame computer chat forum that keeps you from living your real life. If you really were a support system you would be her shoulder to cry on, but your not.

OP's of this world are wanna be's. They are the pretend H or W. Some get their kicks by signing in at motels or hotels under the name of Mr/Mrs. _______. Get joint bank accounts, joint PO boxes, share secret e-mail accounts, cell phones, credit cards, homes, whatever. Kind of like when kids play house. Not the real thing just a good imitation. They pretend like they have history with the WS, they make up things, live out fantasy's in their heads and write about them to keep the fire of the fantasy going. Then they really start to believe they are the real H or W. To fuel their fire, they start to attack the real H or W. Pretty stupid move. <P>Is this something I am just making up? No. These things are happening right now. <P>To any OP who thinks people here are just wasting their time, you have a lot to learn. Many come here for help and get it. Those that don't want help should not be here 'wasting anyone's time'. <P>L.<P>

OK ... I shouldn't do this ... I know I shouldn't, but I gotta, I just GOTTA!<P>If this forum is such a lame place, what the heck are YOU doing spending so much time here, OW?<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

<B>Dear Members of the Pregnancy/Child Forum</B><P>I have locked this thread not because of its originator or any other legitimate poster. I have done this because of the posting of other people and the cruel things that were said. <P><BR>I am asking that any of the threads/posts from these members in question be ignored and for no one to respond. A few people have already said that if they are ignored they will go away. I believe that is exactly what will happen.<P><BR>In advance I appreciate your cooperation in this matter. It?s more than overdue for this forum to be the safe place it was intended to be.<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>Xarelel</B><BR><I>Moderator of Pregnancy/Child Forum <BR>& CO-Moderator of Recovery Forum</I><P><B>Please do resist the temptation and do not reply to these people.</B> Again thank you.<P> Xarelel<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Xarelel (edited April 22, 2001).]

heavenly, I hope I soon feel as you do. That my plate is so full I do not mind the OW getting a few crumbs. I still do not feel like that. I still feel very wounded, and very angry at H for ruining our life this way. Because we have been married for so long, I think it is doubly upsetting to me about the affair/ and OC. I know he is trying to make it right for me, we are in counseling, but every time we meet for counseling, he sees the wound he has created in me, and I see the damage he is done to me. the therapist says I have a lot of anger in me about what has happened, for good reason, I keep wanting to discuss it with my H, he says it is hard for him and hard for me and him to rebuild our life while I am angry at him.So what is the answer?Pretend I am not and move on ? I know it will take years for me to get over this, if that, and wonder will I ever feel like I once felt for him. Any helpful ideas would be helpful.