I was just reading your post in "what can your h offer oc" I love what you had to say and agree 100%, I was just wondering about your story, how old is oc and how long have you know about it? did you find out about a before you found out about oc or at the same time?

fizzpop, I found out the affair and OC the same day, in the same sentence, about 2 months ago. It was awful and quite a shock to me.By the time my H told me, --the affair had been on/off for 3years, and had ended sort of officially one month prior to that. The paternity of child was not official till Thanksgiving 2000, but my H was afraid to tell me around the holidays, so he waited till when he did. He was hoping it would all go away-hoped someone else was father-unlikely-hoped OW would do what she said at first and raise child by self, but that lasted 6 months and then she filed for CS and paternity. The child is now about 15 months old, H had contact with OC in first year of life, to minimal degree-and actually babysat for her 1-2 times that I am aware of with my kids in attendance because OW had to work on weekend and had no one to watch child. H cares for OC, but I have gotten him to give up OC for our healing. Hard decision for him, painful for us both. HOw about you-what is your situation related to discovery of affair and OC? we have two kids ourselves, ages 8 and 4, so this makes it doubly difficult.

ISB... I have followed so many of your post and have not been able to respond to all of them. Just wanted to let you know that I am so very empathetic to your situation. My H is also in agood job. OW wanted what she perceived was a good "father". Little did she know that it was all me takeing care of our home and children. She now gets $1,500 a month from him and will jump at every chance to get more (bonus time, stock options, etc.). It does not take that to raise a child, but that is what state guidelines say she gets. I am sorry, but I resent it. He has his job because of the work I did to support him being there. But that is all water under and over the bridge. <P>My boys are 7 and 8 years old. I am not sure what to tell them about OC. My H also has a 21 year old D that I raised from the time she was 10. She does know about OC (I told her then finally my H discussed with her). She was just appalled, especially since 2 years ago she had a child & my H assisted in her giving up for adoption. I think my boys may be ok with OC, since they have older sister who now does not live with us. They are accustomed to "family" that lives elsewhere. <P>Hang in there. You are a good woman. Carolyn