Dear Lady clueless,<BR>That joke reminds me of an experience I had in college. This is no joke, it really happened.<P>The professor of the course was a noted sourpuss whose serious demeanor and stern expression never changed. His exams were notoriously difficult to pass, and even if one studied very diligently, one had little chance of passing. One day, we got back the results of a particularly challenging test. I had one of the only two passing grades, and it was an "A". After class, a few of my classmates and I were standing outside the classroom building having a cigarette. One girl joked that her grade in the class was so low she might have to offer to have sex with the professor in order to pass. Another friend, who had gotten an especially low score, asked me, "What's YOUR secret? What did you ever do to get an A on that test?"<P>I winked and said jokingly, "Let's just say that it involved me on my knees in his office."<P>Behind me a voice returned, "Ms. Collins, you were on your knees BEGGING, I presume...?"<P>It was the professor. I was so horrified that he had overheard my suggestive comment that I could have died on the spot. BUT he did almost smile as he walked past and left me to my embarassment.<P>cd

<P><BR> An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her\<BR> husband's sex drive.<P> "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.<P> "Not a chance", says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin<BR> for a headache."<P> "No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he won't<BR> even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you<BR> got on."<P> A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to<BR> how things went.<P> "Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor."<P> "What happened?" asks the doctor.<P> "Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his morning coffee. The<BR> effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off<BR> the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded<BR> to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible!"<P> "What was terrible?" said the doctor, "Was the sex not good?"<P> "Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll<BR> never be able to show my face in McDonald's again!"

Why Yelling At A Man Does Not Work<P>"This place is a mess! C'mon, <BR>You and I need to clean up, <BR>Your stuff is lying on the floor and <BR>you'll have no clothes to wear, if we <BR>don't do laundry right now!" <P>What a man hears: <P>blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON <BR>blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I <BR>blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR <BR>blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES

I just had to find this thread & post this one for all of us! A little humor today! Carolyn<P><BR>A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. <P>The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this. When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Slogan's Liniment will reduce the swelling" and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I could hardly<BR>contain myself. <P>BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident...I just lost it." <P>

Here's a little sumthing, sumthing for me:<P>Subject: Why<P>Why does the sun lightenour hair, but darken our skin?<BR>Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?<BR>Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?<BR>Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?<BR>Why is a boxing ring square?<BR>Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?<BR>Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?<BR>Why is it the doctors call what they do "practice"?<BR>Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?<BR>Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "start"?<BR>Why is it that when you're driving andd looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?<BR>Why is lemonjuice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?<BR>Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?<BR>Why is the third hand on the watchcalled a second hand?<BR>Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?<BR>Why is the word dictionary iin the dictionary?<BR>Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?<BR>Why isn't ther mouse-flaavored cat food?<BR>You know that little indestructiabl black box that is used on plans? <BR>Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?