<BR>I asked a few questions on 'sweetpeas" I"m an emotional wreck POST. I see you did not return there. Please check it out. Sept.4 is when she posted. thanks.

channel<BR>Sorry I missed that!<BR>I have been taking medication since my surgery on Wed. and I'm dopier than usual. Not a good thing.<BR>I am one of those people who always fights the grieving. I'm learning that makes it worse. <BR>You had the added problem with the hormonal changes of pregnancy. I had a round with that in April with pregnancy/miscarriage. I found that the sadness lessened as my hormones straightened out.<BR>The big thing I found is that you need to ALLOW yourself the feelings.<BR>the book that FHL and I are discussing has an entire chapter on grieving. You might want to look into it. "The Choosing to Forgive Workbook" by Les Carter.<BR>I think we need to put a limit on our grieving but accept that it is there and let the stages happen. People tell us that we should just get over it. Well that is avoidance and it usually comes back in a different way. If you read about grief and learn to accept and manage it You will be a stronger person for it.<BR>Are you on any antidepressants?<BR>Tell me more about your situation.<BR>For me the grieving was extended because H kept bringing her back into our lives so I kept going back to start. Discovery day was Dec. 20. I would say I've been through with the grief part for about 2 months.<BR>I'm kind of dopey right now. Please write more. If I don't get back tonight I will be here in the morning.

channel<BR>Just have a minute - making pickles.<BR>I just wanted to share a quote with you from the Forgiveness Workbook:<BR>"the failure to be real regarding our grief STRENGTHENS griefs hold on us."<BR>We must recognize the grief, accept it, allow it and then we can manage it and put it away.<BR>Take care!<BR>

H CHEATED 3 years ago. was grieving the entire time, but willing to forgive since it was only an emotional thing with a few kisses. He would not allow me the time to heal and I tried counseling , antidepressants an anger workbook , You name it, I tried, He is a conflict avoider and has inability at times to not be honest with himself. He had major resentments for years, thinking i was trying to control him, i was oly stating my boundaries, He had a full blown affair back in OCt. when i was 2 months pregnant for REVENGE> He is a very sick man. But, has wonderful qualities also.Thanks for help.

so sad and sorry to hear of you miscarriage. also.

channel<BR>Try the Forgiveness Workbook. I think it is the same author as the anger workbook.<BR>This grief is something that is yours. You can have it. You can feel it and you can decide to put it away. Don't let your H interefere with your healing if you can help it.<BR>You still have some major hormone things going on. Be kind to yourself.