Hi,<P>I REALLY need some input from some of the people that responded when I first started to post here. I just heard that my friend's W is trying to sue me for alienation of affection! can she really do that?! One of her friends called me seemingly out of the blue to fuss at me. Keep in mind, that me and my friend have NEVER had sex or anything like that. I haven't even SPOKEN to him at all recently! But her friend said that nothing she does is right anymore and all he talks about and compares her to is me, me, me. She figures that is i had never talked to him in the first place, things between them would be fine, hence the alienation of affection. I don't deal with family law, but I don't think she rally has a case. Have any of you ever thought of or even heard of suing your OW for alienation of affection?

Hi, onlyfriends,<P>It's been done, but is very rare these days, as far as I know. It is unlikely that a lawyer would consider taking a case like that unless there was evidence that you had pursued the husband.<P>That said, I wonder what your relationship was with this man - you say only friends, but are you aware that affairs are not defined by whether or not sex took place? If your 'friend's' relationship with you is interfering with his marriage, then it could be considered an affair. You say you haven't spoken to him recently ... my suggestion, since you are aware that your presence in his life is creating difficulties in his marriage, is that IF he contacts you, you should tell him that you are aware of the problems in his marriage and that, as a friend who cares about him, you are asking him to forget about you and concentrate on his marriage. And ask him to please not contact you again.<P>Truly, if you care about him at all, you need to let him go and heal his marriage without you in his life.<P>I don't know if this is advice you have been given before, and if it is, please excuse me... but if it isn't, PLEASE heed it. A marriage is not something to be taken lightly - even if he says he doesn't love his wife any more, understand that this loss of love is 'imaginary' and that it is likely his infatuation with you has simply made him lose sight of why and how much he loves his wife.<P>I wish that the OW in MY life loved my husband enough to encourage him to let him go. Instead, she expected that I should be the one to love him enough to let him go. How twisted is that?<P>In closing, and back to your original topic, if you make it clear to him that you have no intention of being the cause of the break up of any marriage, and you stick to a plan of no contact, there will be nothing his wife can sue you for. However, if you don't stay out of her husband's life, not only is it possible that she might be able to sue, she might be able to win. And where will that leave you?<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by onlyfriends:<BR><B>She figures that is i had never talked to him in the first place, things between them would be fine, hence the alienation of affection.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I agree with your friend's wife, Onlyfriends, because this is what I am doing and this is how I feel.<P>Since the "Alienation of Affection" laws have all been abolished in most states, you are probably out of the woods. However, if your involvement with her husband has caused her profound distress and emotional anguish and has ruined her marriage in her eyes, has taken her husband's attention away from her and focused on you, she might be able to sue you for Personal Injury, especially if she divorces her husband. It depends on the extent of the damage and the state you live in.<P>In your case, there is not an OC in the mix nor are there the long reaching financial damages that most of us here have endured...(are you on the right site?)...so perhaps a Personal Injury lawsuit might not hold up either.<P>Keep your distance from your "friend" and allow this woman and her husband's marriage heal. If you sever all contact on every level with him, perhaps they may be able to recover without outside interference from you or others. If you just go away and respect and honor their union, maybe she will forget all about you and dogging you with a lawsuit and be able to save her marriage and maybe her husband will fall in love with her all over again.<P>Catnip =^^=<P>

OnlyFriends, <P>I hope you can see now that an emotional affair can be far more damaging than a physical affair. Especially for men who feel deeply. Your "friendship" with this man has put this man in a situation where his wife can't compare to his "image" of you. <P>How I wish I could speak to this man and his wife. They need to treat this relationship with you as if it were a full blown affair and follow the Harley principles as such. <P>And what's Harley's first principle to surviving an affair...NO CONTACT.<P>This couples recovery will be a long and hard one, but cannot even being to heal until you are 100% out of thier picture. <P>Perhaps you can write a no contact letter to BOTH of them. And stand firm, even if that means changing your email and phone number. Read the Harley principles regarding surviving an affair and see what I'm talking about. One important point the H needs to know is about the withdrawl period that will come after you've cut contact. This is important for him to know that it will be hard but won't last forever. Perhaps you could give them the link to those important pages.<P>It's the biggest gift you can give this man, if you do really love and care about him.<P>Good luck,<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

OW wrote letters to and had phone conversations with my h encouraging him to leave me. She wrote about how wonderful life, sex,love, etc. would be once they could be together. She promised to leave her h as well. They never had any kind of sexual encounter and my h wrote the first letter. <P>However, as I pointed out to ow, she had a number of innocent choices: she could've ignored him, told her h, told our pastor (it started through church), or told me. She, however, chose to write him back and together they began to steadily escalate the relationship. H actually left for a few days and returned only to get a marriage counselor to help him deal with our youngest child. Then one day I snooped and found some of her letters.<P>When I found the letters, I first confronted my h. Then, at his suggestion, I immedialtely went to talk to her. I told her that if she ever communicated or responded to my h ever again, I would immediately file suit with her letters attached as Exhibits A, B, C, etc. Contact ended immediatley and fairly soon they realized they weren't soulmates after all.<P>Unfortuneately, not many states have a cause of action for alienation of affections. By the way, my h now says he has never been happier. He thanks me for saving him from her and from his own foolishness.