I am also new to the group. I have been reading posts for quite some time, but have never given my story. I found out about H's OC & A about a year ago. OW was married & her XH's name is on Birth Certificate. Child is 4. Paternity test was never done. OW's XH had a vasectomey, but claims the child. OW has written several letters for my H to be a part of OC life, and also a letter to give up his rights. She is wacky. She just wants to cause problems.<P>It is my understanding that since OW's XH is claimed as legal father, my H has no rights nor does he want any. He is not 100% sure it is his. Does anyone know if there is a time frame she can come back and say " This is not my husbands child" and ask for paternity test? <P>It has been a long year, she writes a letter every couple of months to keep things stirred up. We haven't rec'd one in a while so maybe she got the message. I still am watchful of anything suspicous. He says it is over. I just hope so, it went on for 2 years off and on. His answer to why it happened is he drank alot. At least he has quit.

I also welcome you to our group. <P>Unfortunately I am not one of the legal gurus on this site. I do know that it's a good thing she was married and the birth certificate list her H as the father. As far as I know he would have to have DNA to exclude him and then petition the courts to have him released of paternity. Then I think if she accomplishes that she can persue CS (providing he is concluded to be father via DNA) from your H. <P>Don't quote me, because like I said, I'm no expert. Perhaps Bystander will be by and he can give you the legal spin on your situation.<P>Best of luck dear,<BR>Zebra Baby<p>[This message has been edited by zebrababy (edited April 27, 2001).]

I have been looking into this and Zebrababy is right, the law considers the H the father unless the mother says he isn't and has a DNA test done through the courts. I was the one who had an A and C. I am getting ready to tell my H in nine hours. In my situation if H agrees to raise the child then we will continue as normal, if not then I will go to court to have H proven not to be the father and have OM added. This will ensure my H would not be responsible for a child that is not his should we seperate/divorce. I had a non-legal test done and it came back the OM is probably the father. I did this so OM could claim her before I was ready.<p>[This message has been edited by Regretfully Yours (edited April 28, 2001).]

Slowly recovering,<BR>Hopefully bystander will be along soon, I think the ow h is considered the father it depends on where you live. So sorry you have to be dealing with this. The fruitloops that just cant get it through there heads to leave you alone have got to make it so much harder. Actually anyone that uses a child to try to distroy a family has something very wrong with them.The ow in our case only uses the courts to pi** me off I think she is scared of me. The oc is 1 1/2 yrs old we have no contact with ow or her child. Again so sorry you have this terrible crap in your life. with love flowerseed

Dear Slowly recovering,<P>Well, I had typed this once, but my computer crashed So, here goes again.<P>I am acutally in your OW's position, only my H knew of the paternity, and chose to accept the baby as his own. Also, the OM, to our knowledge, doesn't even know that I was pregnant, and hopefully never will. But, when we first came to this forum, Bystander posted to us a couple times on this very subject. In most states, if paternity is not challenged within 2 years, any child born into a marriage is considered the H's. If this child is now 4, and the H never challenged it's paternity, then there is nothing the OW can do to your or your H. Of course, to be certain, I would check with your state laws on this matter.<P>As for your marriage, have you read any of the Harley's principals or books? They have helped so many marriages past difficult times, such as these. And if you are both willing to work on the marriage, and follow the "rules" you will succeed.<P>I wish you luck in this matter, and success with your marriage.<P>Tigger

Check your state laws. In Illinois, the H is declared the legal father. I was the Ow and had 2 children and my H accepted both of them as his and his name was placed on the birth certificate. the OM came along and took me to court to establish paternity and since I did not have any doubt it was his, my H had vascectomy, then there was no DNA test done. The OM's name is now on the birth certificates since he had them changed, but the children have my H's last name.<BR>From what I understand a woman can go after a man for child support up to the time the child turns 18, but a man cannot claim paternity after the age of 2. But I'm no expert on this.<P>Good Luck<BR>

Thank you to those of you who have replied. Any other replies would be appreciated. Even after a year it is still hard to cope with sometimes. It gives me a peace when I read the messages everyone else has posted. Before I found this sight, I had no idea there are this many other women & men going through the same thing<P>Regretfully yours--I am glad your husband is going to accept the baby. Hang in there.<P>

<BR>RY writes:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I have been looking into this and Zebrababy is right, the law considers the H the father unless the mother says he isn't and has a DNA test done through the courts.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You are incorrect. The husband can unilaterally deny paternity without any need for input from his wife. Of course, the problem men face is that the period to rebut paternity starts at the birth of the child, and if the man is unaware he is the victim of paternity fraud, his period to rebut may lapse before he even knows to litigate. The proper solution is to allow men to litigate paternity at any age, and to make collection of "child support" from a paternity fraud victim a felony. Another option is to simply require mandatory DNA testing at birth.<P>Virtually all fifty states have the notorious "presumption of paternity" laws that state a husband is the father of a child born in a marriage. The period of rebuttal varies by state, although age two is pretty common. Certain states rightly permit a victim of paternity fraud to litigate mispaternity at any age (Ohio by statute, Maryland and South Dakota by case law), although its worth noting that these apply to cases of fraud. If a husband <I>knew</I> the child was biologically another man's child, the allowance to litigate after the cutoff almost certainly does not apply. If you give me the state, I can probably find the cutoff for you. Once the cutoff period has passed, the husband is on the hook for "child support" and would be nailed to the income shares cross were the marriage to end.<P>Bystander