I am just wondering which posters are actually dealing with an OC from an affair and which posters aren't. Although I want the opinions of everone that is willing to help I (for myself and this doesn't go for others) would like to know who is actually in the position of an OC. I am sorry if this question isn't pc but i am new to this and i have been lurking and this board can be wonderful but it can also get really nasty.

I'd say the vast majority of our poster are dealing with OC. Some have contact others don't. Is that what your are questioning? who has contact and who doesn't?<P>Once in a while posters from other boards will come and give words of encouragement, but they usually identify themselves as not dealing with OC issues.<P>Then there are our "crashers". They are a bunch of OW who choose to come here and prey on the weakest most vunerable of our members. You will notice, that the troops rally in their defense. So if you ever feel threatened by one of these crashers, know we will all cover your back.<P>I guess to answer your question... I deal with OC issues and we currently have contact.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have oc issues and no contact with oc, do not want contact!

whatif?,<BR>We are going on 2yrs recovery the oc is 1 1/2 yrs old we have no contact and never will. The ow gets her weekly paycheck for having sex with someone a couple of times. She was one of the dandys that used having a baby to try to distroy a family . Normally things are not so confusing around here but we had some sick ow causing some problems. with love flowerseed

Whatif?<P>We are raising the child that I had from A. OM doesn't know, and hopefully never will, of this child. So, I sometimes am not comfortable posting to the newbies. But, if I read something that I feel I can contribute to, I speak up. Like Zebrababy said, the good majority of us have OC issues, and those that come over from the other boards usually state that they are here from one of the other boards. The crashers usually get "crushed" almost immediately. That will also be more controlled, now that we have moderators.<P>We are all here to help in what ever way we can.<P>Tigger

I am dealing with OW/OC issues. We have no contact right now (OC is 14 months) and we are not sure if we ever will. We are getting a lawyer to sue for custody, but secretly hoping she will get scared and try to let her parents adopt OC (H will sign over rights).

Dear whatif,<BR>My h's oc is almost 4. We are in the process of pursuing custody. like jessry, we would sign over rights if ow's boyfriend was to marry her and adopt oc, but so far, that aint happening! So looks like ow is going to have to deal with us being in her daughter's life. And thus far, she is none to happy about it.<P>Pay no mind to the crashers. They are insignificant compared to the wonderful support you can get from the lovely ladies and gents of the forum. The people who came over from the other boards to help through the crasher crises are also great for advice and support.<BR>cd

we have an OW/OC. we have no contact, not planning on any in the future either. we are 4 years past d-day. had other d-days, finding out about OC(about a year after 1st d-day), finding out OW had just filed for CS(june of 2000). OC will be 4 this year. we don't have children yet. our marriage is best it has ever been.<P>happy_girl

Hi I think we were posting at the same time..I think maybe we were asking the same thing...read my post and if you were maybe we could find a safe place to go..Thanks <BR>My Cross

I am also dealing with ow\oc issues. I say that but we have had no significant contact. Just dealing with emotions. This is a very supportive place either way you go in your life. Oc will be 2 in Oct. My daughter is 3. Are marriage is doing well. I suggest reading Surviving An Affair..found on this website. Its a lot cheaper on here than a bookstore. <P>Love and Prayers<P>bw

Have an OW and an OC... who is about 10 mths. <P>Carolyn