Well I just found out that even after I openly and honestly expressed how I felt about joint custody at this time he had still decided to talk to the attorney about it this monday when we have our first appointment with him in regards to the whole child support issue.<BR>I guess how I felt about the joint custody did not matter and the affect that it would have on our relationship did not matter either. <BR>Gee, isn't that whole attitude how we ended up in this mess to start with??<BR>It doesn't look like that attitude has changed in the time since he got her pregnant to start with.<BR>You know what???<BR>That really hurts.<BR>A lot.<BR>A whole lot!!<BR>But I guess I know where I stand, and I guess I know what priority our relationship takes. And I definately know that my feelings don't count for much.<BR>He will do what he wants to do and to heck with me and the relationship.<BR>Has anything really changed from the way he made his choices in the past???<BR>I do believe the policy of joint agreement just flew out the window!!! <BR>Maybe that is the truth I finally needed to see to start making the right choices for MY life.<BR>Right now I just hurt so much that I wish I could just find some place peaceful to curl up and die.<BR>At least then he wouldn't have to even hear about my feelings let alone take them into consideration!!

Dear Freedom,<P>Maybe you need to move on to Plan B. Look into it, and if that is what you end up doing, stick to the rules that are set forth. If you follow them, you just might have success. If you keep going as you are right now, any love you have left for your H will slowly deteriorate. I'm sorry that I don't have better advice for you. I will keep you in my prayers.<P>Tigger

FH,<P>I don't have much advice either. I've heard of some Plan B's working, but have never had enough guts or will to try it myself. <P>Husbands can be SOB's. I know mine has altered our POJA twice. But I knew it was the right thing to do so I was O.K. with the change. I've altered it once as well, and he went along with it. I guess it all boils down to give and take. Someone once told me as long as everyone is giving and taking equally there will always be balance.<P>So I guess you have to put it all on the scales. If it doesn't balance then you have to move to the next step. Read Harley's stuff on Plan B. See if it's for you.<P>Best of luck,<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

In my other post I have already stated that Plan B would be that action to take. Please do not keep allowing yourself to be hurt. Make YOU a priority. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself and expecting respect from others, especially those who claim to love us the most. <P>Take care... Carolyn