Hi guys,<P><BR> It just occured to me, if Dr. Harleys' material was required reading prenuptually, maybe 99% of us wouldn't be here!! What do you think?<P><BR> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg

Gregg,<BR>I totally agree with you, but I know that when I got married our pastor gave my W and I a book by Gary Smalley about marriage. I put it away in the bookcase and only remembered I had it the night that my W told me about the A. I have since given a copy of "Give and Take" to my BIL and he just kinda rolled his eyes even though he knows how much pain his sister has put on me. What I'm getting at is that when you are so "in love" before marriage, you don't think anything like this could ever happen to you at least that's what I thought!! Unfortunately I think too many people would do as I did and not read anything until it was too late. If I ever do get married again, I will be the perfect H!! You think your sex life would be better if you applied all of Harley's principles from day one??!!<BR>Floored

Dear Gregg,<BR>I don't know. I think this stuff is kind of like when you are on an airplane and the stewardess is giving instructions on how to work the emergency oxygen masks. You really don't pay too much attention because you feel confident that you are not going to crash anyway.<P>We had premarital counseling, and I thought at the time that it was a joke. We were SOOO in love and were going to stay that way forever. And the sex - my god -blew my mind. I just knew there would never be a day that I would turn my h down or withhold sex. <P>Looking back, I can see a hundred billion things that I did wrong. And if I could change what I did to create the breakdown in the marriage that led to the affair, I would. But if I was able to go back in time and talk to myself right before I walked down the aisle, would my former self even have listened? i was so crazy about my h then, and so happy to be marrying him, I'll bet I would have laughed, never thinking that we would ever deteriorate to the point where an affair was even possible. And if I had believed what the future held, would I have even gone through with the wedding? <P>I wish I didn't know now the things I didn't know then.<BR>cd

<BR>CD,<P>Amazing you mentioned the oxygen masks. My neighbor is a mechanic for one of the major airlines and was telling me that above your seats in the bin area are oxygen generators that use a binary chemical system to create oxygen. That line the stewardesses tell you to "pull the cord to start the flow of oxygen" is quite real. My neighbor (who has worked on just about every system) said you have to give 'em a really good yank to ignite the starter and get the chemical process going.<P>He's got all kinds of amazing airline stories. At our local airport, UPS was (is?) running late night flights to Fort Lauderdale for $89. The seats were transferred into UPS's cargo planes on giant palattes - essentially rows of chairs on a flat sheet of metal that was snapped to the bottom of the aircraft. Talk about rough n' ready flying conditions. "Hey you, back there in row 12! Want some peanuts? Here...catch!" <P>Bystander

Bystander,<BR>My uncle is a mechanic for USAirways at the Pittsburgh airport. For my 12th birthday, he decided to take me on my first official airplane ride. On the way to the airport, the front tire of his car started wobbling and CAME OFF just as he pulled to the shoulder of the highway. We all got out and waited until he jacked the car up and reattached the tire. Uncle remarked, "That's funny. I just changed that tire last week. I must have forgotten to tighten the lug nuts.<P>shortly after, we reached the airport. As we were about to board the plane, my uncle said, "Did you know that I worked on this very plane last night?" <P>I held my breath the whole way to Pittsburgh fearing that a wing would fall off because he had "forgotten" to tighten it. William Shatner was never half as frightened about the "man on the wing" as I was that day.<P>cd

And by the way, I have taken flight instruction and have flown several planes. However, if we are ever trapped on an island and come across a plane, you should know that you would be better off remaining a castaway. I can take-off wonderfully, but my landings are atrocious. My poor flight instructor nicknamed me 'Amelia Airhead'. And to make matters worse, his job before teaching was as a bush pilot in the Alaskan wilderness, so he was used to the worst possible landing conditions. However, his student before me was Olivia Newton John (no kidding, he trained her for some movie role) and he said she was just as bad.<BR>-cd<P>